Meet fifty shades The Story Continues
by camillarosendal
Summary: This story continues where EL James left of in the end of Fifty Shades Freed with the two chapters from Christian's POV. I tell the story from the beginning of the trilogy from Christian's POV.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I'm sitting in my hotel room working, being in an unusually foul mood seeing as I have heard nothing from the delectable Miss Steele. I'm starting to wonder whether I will actually hear anything from her tonight. I fucking hate waiting, I fucking hate the idea of having to go back to Seattle and forget about Miss Steele. _I don't think I will be able to forget about her. _

This is really starting to piss me off and I'm contemplating calling her myself when my phone rings yet again.

"Grey"

"Er … Mr. Grey? It's Anastasia Steele" _Finally Miss Steele._

"Miss Steele. How nice to hear from you" I say in my much seductive voice. Taylor has joined me from the adjoining room with my schedule and is fucking glaring at me like I'm an alien.

"Um – we'd like to go ahead with the photo shoot for the article – tomorrow, if that's okay. Where would be convenient for you, sir?" _Fucking yes, I love that word out of that mouth. I can already imagine the delectable Miss Steele shackled to my bed in my playroom – oh what I could do to you Miss Steele. _

"I'm staying at the Heathman in Portland. Shall we say nine thirty tomorrow morning?"

"Okay, we'll see you there" Anastasia sounds fucking breathy and like she's forgetting to breathe. _Yeah baby, I have that effect._

"I look forward to it, Miss Steele." _Hell yes I'm looking forward to it. _

Suddenly I am in a much better mood, but I also have a hard on from imagining Anastasia in my playroom. Taylor has managed to stop glaring at me and has assumed his professional demeanour.

"Taylor, I'm going to the gym." I need to work of some the excess energy.

When I get back from the gym, I continue working. I have some things I need to get out of the way and I can't sleep anyway. When I don't have my piano to sooth me, I find it even more difficult to sleep. I work until late and finally manage to sleep a few hours before Taylor and I go on our daily 6 am run. Even though it is a means to burning off all my excess energy it is nice to run somewhere other than Seattle.

When I've had my breakfast and showered to reception informs me that the delectable Miss Steele and Miss Kavanagh are ready for me in one of the other suites.

I make my way to the suite, looking very much forward to seeing Anastasia.

I walk into the suite with Taylor behind, I can sense he is rather amused by the fact that I am about to endure a photo shoot with amateurs. Anastasia looks like she's forgotten to both breathe and speak. _Here goes Grey, let's make Miss Steele aware just how charming you can be. Fuck yes. _

"Miss Steele, we meet again." I extend my hand to Anastasia who blinks rapidly and her breathing becomes shallow. The moment your fingers touch there is this electrical spark between us and my cock twitches in response. _Fuck, what the fuck is that. What am I, fourteen._ She blushes as only she can and quickly introduces the tenacious Miss Kavanagh. _Ice queen more like it._ Then Anastasia turns to introduce the photographer and grins at him like a fool. _Fuck, what is this. Are they together? Did Welch overlook something? I'll fucking have his balls if she is dating this fucker and he didn't find that out. _

"Mr. Rodriguez. Where would you like me?" I ask threatening, Mr. Rodriguez is well aware that I am not backing down. _Fuck no. _

Miss Kavanagh directs me to a chair against the wall and I sit and wait. Some fucker blinds me with the lights and the photographer boy is getting ready. _Serves you right Grey, for letting fucking amateurs take photos of you. _

I sit posing to the photographer boy's instructions and try to catch Anastasias eye. I only catch her eye twice, she is so fucking shy. _You don't have a hope in hell Grey. _She blushes furiously each time I catch her eye and I have no fucking idea what she is thinking, whether she has just as erotic thoughts as I have. _No fucking way will she ever go along with what you have in mind, Grey. _

The fucking amateur photo shoots continues for another half an hour and finally the photographer exclaims that he has enough photos.

To Anastasias big surprise I ask her to walk with me. I need to ask her for coffee, I need to know if there is any way in hell she will go along with what I have planned.

She's nervously fidgeting when I ask her if she would like to join me for coffee. Then her answer takes me completely by surprise:

"I have to drive everyone home" _What the fuck – no way is she turning me down. This can easily be solved._

"Taylor" I call, I then arrange for Taylor to take everyone back to campus so Anastasia can join me. Then she looks at me frowning and says that he really doesn't have to drive them home. _Fuck, is she turning me down, again! _But then she comes up with her own solution, she'll switch cars with Miss Kavanagh and then we can go for that coffee.

She is gone quite some time, I suspect Miss Kavanagh is giving her the best girlfriend lecture. When she emerges from the suite she stops in her tracks just looking at me and flushes furiously. To ease the embarrassment, on her part that is, I motion for her to walk ahead to the elevators so that I can look at her delectable ass.

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	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When we get in the elevator there's a young couple kissing very passionately, they become very embarrassed by the sight of Anastasia and I. Anastasia again blushes and looks up at me through her lashes and bites her lip. _Shit that does things to me I have been dreaming about that mouth several times and penetrating blue eyes of hers._ As we ride down in the elevator I glance at Anastasia who looks utterly uncomfortable with the whole situation. To reassure her a bit I take her hand as we head out of the elevator.

We walk together to Portland Coffee House, which I've come to known because of the quick work of Taylor, that guy can find out anything you need in no time. As we walk I can see that Anastasia is trying very hard not to smile and therefore just looking down at the ground. I really have no fucking idea whether I can get her to open up enough to find out whether I have a hope in hell with. _What do you think, Grey. A sweet innocent like her will run screaming when she finds out what you want to do to her. _

When we get to the coffee house Anastasia informs me that she does not like coffee, so she would like an English Breakfast Tea, bag out. I ask her to choose a table while I get the drinks. I glance in her direction when I'm waiting in line; she's looking at me and is blushing yet again. God I wish I knew what she's thinking, because now she is biting that fucking delicious lip again. I can feel my cock twitch in response and am getting seriously pissed off by that. _There you go Grey, you could a nice little submissive back at Escala, but no, you have to chase after the sweet delectable Miss Steele. _

I try to get her to tell me what she is thinking when I return to the table, she is looking down and has a lovely shade of pink creeping across her cheeks. She is such a mystery. But I really need to know whether she has any family or friends that can pose an obstacle with what I have in mind for her. I'm distracted by Anastasia who pops the tea bag in her tea, but almost immediately fishes it out again. I must have a rather puzzled look on my face, because she says:

"I like my tea black and weak" I make a mental note to remember this about Anastasia. But now I need to know a little bit more about the mysterious Miss Steele.

"I see. Is he your boyfriend?" She looks at me rather confused.

"Who?"

"The photographer. José Rodriguez."

"No. José's a good friend of mine, that's all. Why did you think he was my boyfriend?"

"The way you smiled at him, and he at you." I try to catch her eye to make sure she is telling the truth. I've become quite good at telling the bullshitters from the non-bullshitters. She blushes again as I catch her eye and hold her gaze locked to mine.

"He's more like family" She whispers. Good, I believe her, there's truth in her eyes.

She looks at my hands mesmerized as I peel the paper of my blueberry muffin and as if on cue, she's blushing again. What the fuck is going through her mind and how the fuck am I going to convince her to sub for me. _Drop it Grey, she's way too sweet for you._

"And the boy I met yesterday, at the store. He's not your boyfriend?" She looks a bit annoyed with my question. _What the fuck, I need to know this. Has she absolutely no idea that I'm attracted to her._

"No. Paul's just a friend. I told you yesterday. Why do you ask?"

"You seem nervous around men." She's blushing again. I know Miss Steele is innocent, but why on earth does she react that way?

"I find you intimidating."_What? Where the fuck did that come from? Underneath that shy surface there is a smart mouth. _

"You should find me intimidating. You're very honest. Please don't look down. I like to see your face." She is beet red in the cheeks and is staring intent at the table. I need to see her eyes, so I have just the slightest idea what she is thinking and feeling. She glances up at me with a wary expression and I try to encourage her with a little smile.

"It gives me some sort of clue what you might me thinking. You're a mystery Miss Steele."

"There's nothing mysterious about me." _Oh you're so wrong about that baby._

"I think you're very self-contained. Except when you blush, of course, which is often. I just wish I knew what you were blushing about." Then she looks at me bewildered and her gaze lands on my mouth as I'm eating my muffin. Again she is blushing and again she surprises me with her statement.

"Do you always make such personal observations?"

"I hadn't realized I was. Have I offended you?"

"No."

"Good."

"But you're very high-handed" _What the fuck. That mouth makes some fucking smart comments. _What's even more surprising to me is that I actually enjoy I do not like it when women answer back or make smart comments. But somehow with Anastasia it is not the same. _Fucking odd._

"I'm used to getting my own way, Anastasia. In all things."

"I don't doubt it. Why haven't you asked me to call you by your first name?"

"The only people who use my given name are my family and a few close friends. That's the way I like it." I can't fucking very well tell her that when she greeted me goodbye after the interview, the way she said my name sounded so incredibly sexy that I couldn't wait to hear it again.

I start questioning her about her family to see whether any will be an obstacle if I want Anastasia to myself for a whole weekend. Both parents live far away, which I already know due to my background check from Welch. She gives me little details of her parents, which I make a mental note of. You never know when they might come in handy. _Yeah right Grey , as if you'll ever fucking need information about her parents. She's going to sub for you remember? That's if you can even get her to agree to do that. _

She starts questioning about my family. _Oh no, you're not going there Miss Steele. Subs do not know my family. _

When I tell her that Mia is in Paris, she tells me that she's never left mainland USA. I start thinking that I could show all sorts of nice places. _You don't take your subs travelling, do you Grey?_

"Would you like to go?" I ask her. _Stop this Grey!_

"To Paris? Of course. But it's England that I'd really like to visit."

"Because?" She is looking all flustered now as I contemplate this information lightly running my index finger over my lips. _Oh yes, the usual reaction. Are you trying to seduce her Grey?_

"It's the home of Shakespeare, Austen, the Brontë sisters, Thomas Hardy. I'd like to see the places that inspired those people to write such wonderful books." As I think about this, thinking to myself that she's probably an incurable romantic like her mother, she looks very determined all of a sudden.

"I'd better go. I have to study." No, no, no, I don't want her to go yet. But I cannot get myself to deny her time to study for her exams, which I know is very important to her.

"For your exams?"

"Yes. They start Tuesday." Of course I already know this, I've checked with WSUV when all Miss Steele's exams are. _Control freak, are you Grey?_

"Where's Miss Kavanagh's car?"

"In the hotel parking lot"

"I'll walk you back" I really want to spend more time with you Miss Steele. I am actually surprised at myself for not wanting to leave little Miss Steele yet. _What the fuck is going on here. Get a grip Grey._

"Thank you for the tea, Mr. Grey"

"You're welcome, Anastasia. It's my pleasure. Come." I love the way her name rolls of my tongue.

Again I take her hand and enjoy feeling her little hand in mine. She is so delicate in so many ways, but I think I've seen a little more of her personality today. There is more beneath the surface once you get to know her. And I have to admit that I am feeling more and more drawn to her, to wanting her to sub for me, so I can keep her in my life. She's the only one who's made me smile in a long time. She's also the only one who has spoken to me with such a smart mouth, other than Ros, my number two, of course.

As we are walking I look at Anastasia and wonder whether she always wears such ordinate clothes, also picturing her in a beautiful dress and Louboutin stilettos.

"Do you always wear jeans?"

"Mostly." As I thought. _Oh Miss Steele, what I could do to you._

When we reach the intersection across from the hotel waiting for the light to change, Anastasia completely takes me by surprise – again.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

"No, Anastasia. I don't do the girlfriend thing." Why would she ask me that? I really don't do the whole girlfriend thing. I like a brunette submissive that I can flog and fuck, and then we can mind our own business. _Oh fuck, of course. I've asked her out for coffee so of course she thinks it's some sort of date. _By the very bewildered look on her face that's exactly what she thought, so now I really need to figure out what the fuck to do. I can't let her think that I want to date her and do the hearts and flowers scenario. I don't do hearts and flowers, I do floggers and canes. Just as I am contemplating what to do now Anastasia takes a step forward and stumbling onto the road where a cyclist is riding the wrong way and heading for Anastasia. I tug on her hand to get her away from there and somehow she ends up in my arms against my chest. I cannot begin to explain how amazing that feels. She looks utterly shocked but also utterly surprised. I start running my fingers down her cheek and am amazed at how soft her skin is. I run my fingers down to that distracting bottom lip of hers. Her scent is intoxicatingly sweet, her skin and lip so soft and I can feel the attraction very strongly. My cock is becoming hard and my breathing shallow as I hold her gaze. She mirrors my breathing and turns her attention to my mouth. I'm fighting a very strong urge to kiss her right here and now. _What the fuck are you doing Grey, this sweet innocent girl thinks you want to date her, when in reality you want her shackled against your wooden cross so you can flog and fuck her. _I can't do this to her, I need to tell her that I'm not the kind of guy she's looking for. How the fuck I'm going to manage staying away from here, I have absolutely no fucking idea, but I need to do this for her sake. I close my eyes to try to gather my wits and look intently at her.

"Anastasia, you should steer clear of me. I'm not the man for you. Breathe, Anastasia, breathe. I'm going to stand you up and let you go." I pull her away from me feeling a great deal of regret and feeling like a fucking shit when I can see in her eyes how hurt she is. _I'm doing this for you own good baby._ She's looking bewildered and hurt and looks like she wants to run as fast as her legs will take her.

"I've got this. Thank you." She manages to mutter the words while looking down at the ground.

"For what?"

"For saving me" _Of course baby, always. _

"That idiot was riding the wrong way. I'm glad I was here. I shudder to think what could have happened to you. Do you want to come and sit down in the hotel for a moment?" I can't just leave like this, she's looking so hurt. She just shakes her head and start walking towards the hotel. I follow behind not really knowing what to do or say. I don't really want to leave her alone; the feeling of her in my arms was fantastic. When we're outside the hotel, Anastasia turns around and can't look up at me, so she focuses somewhere on my chest.

"Thanks for the tea and doing the photo shoot." I really have no idea what to do. _Grey, you can't fucking mess with her now, just look at her. Just let her go. _

"Anastasia ... I ..." I can't even recognize my own voice, it sounds strained.

"What, Christian?" she snaps at me. I rag my brain to find something to say, but everything just seems fucking inadequate.

"Good luck with your exams." _That's the best you can do Grey?_

"Thanks. Goodbye Mr. Grey." She says very sarcastically and turns around and walks away, not looking back.

I stand completely immobilised looking after her, having no fucking idea how I will be able to forget about her and never see her again.

As I walk up to my suite I call Taylor, to arrange the next week's schedule. For some reason I cannot get myself to leave Portland just yet. I know I don't have a hope in hell with Anastasia right now, but I have to rectify the situation somehow.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I've decided to stay in Portland for the remainder of the week. I know Anastasia's last exam is on Friday, so I will have to wait until then to try to make things up with her. _Fucking wait – again._ I know her exams are really important to her, so I do not want to disturb her while she is studying. Since I am already here I've agreed with Ros that I'll be looking into some business opportunities. I cannot leave work behind, since we have several business deals in various states of negotiation, so I will have to keep a close eye on this and it's not exactly like I have anything better to do. I can't talk to Anastasia yet, so I am raking my brain to try to figure out how to handle the situation.

I think Taylor is in about as foul a mood as I am. I know he and Gail have something going on, so I'm guessing he misses her and is fucking tired of me not being able to make up my mind. I'm starting to miss my piano, which is usually the thing that can calm me down after my fucking horrific nightmares. So instead of playing the piano, I run and I run a lot, fast and long trips. Taylor keeps up, no problem. But I'm really trying to dispel some of my excess energy and I'm guessing Taylor feels the same.

One evening after having worked since early morning I decide to go down to the gym to try and get a handle on all my thoughts and my foul mood. I'm pretty sure I almost made Andrea cry when I just talked to her, which has never happened before. _You need to get a fucking grip Grey, just get Miss Steele out of your mind and go back to Seattle and get a nice new sub._ Except I know that I can't. Yes, I need to get her out of my system, but I have to somehow get her to talk to me before I can forget about her. I keep dreaming about her fantastic blue eyes, that amazingly soft skin against me and her sweet sweet scent.

When I'm pounding away on the treadmill I can't help thinking back to all my previous submissives and wondering why it is that I'm so attracted to Anastasia. All my submissives have had brown hair, been petite and have pale skin, just like Anastasia. I do love to watch their skin pink up under the cane. I remember after things ended with Elena, that I felt I never wanted a sub with blonde hair, it's the long brown hair that really turns me on, that I can braid it and wind it around my wrist when I fuck them hard from behind. _Then what is it about Anastasia that has me so attracted? She looks like all the others. _

I'm trying to figure out how to tell Anastasia what I want from her and I remember when Elena first introduced me to the scene, it wasn't exactly gently.

_I'd been shifting rubble from the Lincolns backyard all day and was sweaty and dirty and utterly tired in my muscles. Elena and some other of my parents friends were supposed to come over for dinner at our house, so my mom and Elena had agreed that I could take a shower at the Lincoln house and then I would drive over with Elena for the dinner. When there was a little over an hour left before we should leave, Elena came out to me in the backyard an asked me to go and take a shower. I didn't understand why, since there was over an hour left. But when I protested she just said "You'll learn never to disobey me and you'll feel the consequences." I was utterly bewildered when I walked into the house to shower, but soon forgot that when I got under the hot waves of the water, washing off all the dirt and massaging my aching muscles. All of a sudden I heard something in the bathroom, but couldn't really see anything because of all the steam. I decided to cut my shower short and get out, so I grabbed for the towel I'd hung next to the shower door, but it wasn't there. I opened the shower door and peeked out and I could not in a million years have prepared for the sight that met me. Elena was standing in the bathroom with my towel in her hands, dressed in a very short leather dress, stockings, high heeled leather boots and was holding a whip in the other hand. My cock immediately sprang to attention at that sight. After the kiss she gave me the first day I'd been hoping for something else, but nothing had happened, until that moment. She told me to dry myself and then follow her without a word. I quickly dried myself off and then followed her into a room I'd never seen anything like before. There were whips, canes, paddles, riding crops and some other implements I had no idea what was on the wall. Shackles and carabiners in the ceiling, a big bed and some sort of bench. She told me to kneel beside the bed and at first I was very hesitant, I didn't know what she was going to do to me and the thought of her touching me filled me with dread. But when she flicked the whip through the air as a warning I decided to do as she told. I was as horny as ever and really curious as to what would happen. She told me to look down and not look up or speak unless she wished me to. Then with no warning she whipped my back hard and I cried out, but since I wasn't allowed to do that, she whipped me even harder again and told me that I was a bad boy. She continued to whip me 15 more times and then said that was my punishment for being disobedient. But since I'd pleased her so much today, by showing off my well trained body when working, she wanted me to have a reward too. She told me to lie down on the bed, which I did without hesitating this time. She crawled on top of me and cuffed my hands to the headboard and started to touch my achingly hard cock – since it was the first time I'd ever experienced that I couldn't help but gasp at her rough touch. When I'd just gotten used to the touch she bend down and started playing with her tongue on my head and then licked me all the way down the length and gently cupped my balls. Then she took me in her mouth and started sucking me hard while holding my hips and boring her nails into my skin. The feeling was out of this world and before I knew it I was coming in her mouth and she just swallowed it. I was in complete awe and wondered what would happen next. Apparently it wasn't satisfactory that I had come so soon, so she wanted to punish me, but seeing as we were due at my parent's house she only had time to fuck me, so the punishment would wait till the day after. I still had an erection but somewhat tamed, but Elena soon made sure that didn't last. She crawled on top of me and slowly sank herself on my hard cock – I could not lie still, the feeling of her wet pussy enclosing my aching cock was fantastic. She started to ride me hard and was soon lost herself in an orgasmic trance, which made me tip over the edge too. She collapsed next to me on the bed, almost like she knew I didn't like to be touched – maybe my mom told her. _

_Shortly after Elena told me to get of the bed and get dressed so we wouldn't be late for my parent's dinner party. _

I can't introduce Anastasia to it that roughly, she'll run screaming before I even get a chance to tell her what it's all about. She's too innocent to have it introduced that way, I'll have to show her my playroom and just explain what it is I want from her and expect from her and hope to god that she will agree to it. _She'll probably run screaming the moment you open the door to your playroom Grey._

Even though I've been working out like a maniac for 2 hours, my mood is even worse than it was before I went to the gym. I can't stand this waiting around and I have half a mind to just drive over to Anastasia's apartment, just to see her. _What the fuck is wrong with me, why can't I just leave her alone. _

As I make my way up from the gym I decide that I should send Anastasia a gift, to apologize for the "no kissing" episode and also give her a warning. When I get up to my suite I yell some more at Taylor who at this point is just scowling at me when I yell at him. He is well aware of the source of my foul mood and is probably wondering why I've ditched my usual MO for getting a sub and pursuing the delectable Miss Steele as much as I am. _Quite frankly, I'm rather wondering myself why the fuck she is so irresistible to me. _

I've never reacted this way before with a sub, it's always just been the sex and if the sub has made any indication it was more to her, she was out. I've never given this much thought to getting a sub, I've always had experienced subs through an online service that offers anonymity, although I'm known in the environment as a highly experienced and skilled Dom.

I decide to try to find a suitable gift for Anastasia that she can have on Friday when her exams are over. I've learned that her last exams will be an essay on the works of Thomas Hardy, so I figure that some of his works will be a good gift. I come up with _Tess of D'Urbervilles_ as the perfect gift. I've found some first editions in mint condition and decide to buy them for Anastasia.

Wednesday evening my ever irritating and nosy big brother rings me, he thinks it's been to long since he's heard from me and wants to get together Friday night for drinks so we can catch up. Relieved, since I'm not really in the mood for him, I tell him that I'm in Portland so we'll have to do it another time. He just replies that he'll fly down, then we can go hiking in the weekend and then fly back together on Sunday. I reluctantly agree and tell him that I'm staying at the Heathman and I'll arrange for a room for him.

Friday morning I tell Taylor to deliver the first edition Thomas Hardy books to Anastasia's doorstep so they are there when she gets home from her exam. Taylor stays behind to make sure she gets the books when she arrives home and tells me she's gotten them and took them inside.

I haven't heard anything from Anastasia when Elliot arrives, so I'm in a foul mood when he gets here and he starts questioning me about what the hell I'm doing in Portland and if a business deal has gone sour since my mood is so foul. I'm suspecting though, that he thinks I'm here because I've gotten someone special in my life. _If only he knew how true that is._ The even unspoken question from my family looms over us as he tries to pry deeper to my intentions of being in here. They all think I'm gay, celibate but gay, since I've never brought a girl home. They have no idea of my depraved lifestyle, why the fuck would I tell them about that. They wouldn't want to have anything to do with me if they knew just how fucked up I am. My phone rings several times throughout the night, as always the inevitable business calls. My little bro is used to the interruption so he just continues with his after dinner drinks. My relationship with Elliot has become easier over the years; when I first started out with my business our relationship was rather strained. I didn't talk to my parents for a long time, because my dad got so pissed about me leaving Harvard that he yelled at me and I didn't return home before Mia one day stood on my doorstep crying her eyes out because they all missed me so much.

But now we can talk freely with the easy brotherhood banter between us. He can never know the real me though, that is something I work very hard to keep hidden from my family, so I just play along with the whole teasing about me being gay.

My phone rings yet again but this time I'm surprised to see it's Anastasia calling. _Yeah yeah, I've saved her number on my cell._ Instantly my spirits lifts a little and Elliot is looking very surprised at my greeting when I answer the phone, sounding both confused and seductive. He's never heard me take a private call before other that from Mia or my mom.

"Anastasia?"

"Why did you send me the books?" _What the fuck, has she been drinking, she sounds really odd. _

"Anastasia, are you okay? You sound strange."

"I'm not the strange one, you are." _What the fuck!_

"Anastasia, have you been drinking?"

"What's it to you?" I can feel my anger surge just beneath the surface. I am really mad at her for putting herself at risk by going somewhere to get drunk.

"I'm . . . curious. Where are you?" I really need to know where she is so I can go to her and get her safely home.

"In a bar" _For fucks sake_

"Which bar?"

"A bar in Portland." _For fucks sake will you just tell me where you are so I can pick you up._

"How are you getting home?"

"I'll find a way."

"Which bar are you in?" _Just fucking tell me._

"Why did you send me the books, Christian?" _Oh for fucks sake, will she just stop with the books. _

"Anastasia, where are you? Tell me now" At this point Elliot has a very puzzled expression regarding me intently. He can sense my worry for this girl I'm talking to, but he is as always eagerly curious to know what is going on here.

"You're so . . . domineering." Anastasia is now giggling drunkenly at the other end. _Oh yeah baby, you have no idea._

"Ana, so help me, where the fuck are you." Now I'm barely holding on to my anger and I need to get to her. God knows in what state she's in. I definitely need to get to her before some other fucker lays his fucking paws on her.

"I'm in Portland . . . 's a long way from Seattle." _What the fuck. Oh yeah Grey, she doesn't know that you've stayed behind just because of her. _

"Where in Portland?"

"Good night, Christian"

"Ana!" Then she hangs up on me, she fucking hangs up on me. No, no, no, I have to get to her. Fury is boiling through me, Elliot is looking at me with a quizzical look.

"What was that about little bro? And more importantly, who was that?"

I just hold up my finger while dialing on my phone, I _need_ to find Anastasia _now_.

"Welch, I need you to track Miss Steele's cell right now"

"Sir, just hold on a minute"

I'm impatiently waiting for the tracking to locate her, already getting to my feet gathering up my car keys and wallet from the counter we were sitting at. Elliot is standing up too, looking every bit as confused as I could expect him to. Finally Welch gives me her location, luckily not far from the Heathman. I start walking in long strides towards the exit and the car, Elliot following behind asking a lot of questions.

"Hey little bro, where are we going?"

"I'm going to pick up Anastasia, she's drunk and needs to get home"

"Who is she anyway?" _Oh for fucks sake, just leave it Elliot. _

"Just a friend" I brush it off.

"That's bullshit little bro. Is she your girlfriend? I've never heard you talk like that to anyone"

"Fuck off Elliot"

"Just curious, none of us have ever seen or heard you with a girl, and here you are in full on protection mode."

"Look Elliot, I really don't want to talk about it, just get in the fucking car so I can pick up Anastasia." At this point he knows better than to keep questioning me and just gets in the car and doesn't say another thing.

We get to the bar which is filled with drunken graduates celebrating their freedom. I try to find Anastasia, but cannot see her anywhere. I spot the tenacious Miss Kavanagh on her way to the dance floor with some poor fucker who can't take his eyes of her ass. I don't waste any time with pleasantries.

"Where's Anastasia?"

"What the hell! What are you doing here?" _Is she fucking stupid?_

"Where is she?"

"Why the hell did you send the books Christian, she's been in a complete rollercoaster emotionally" _What the fuck is she talking about, would you just stop with the fucking books. I just need to know where the fuck she is._ I just give her my CEO no-nonsense stare and she reluctantly wavers a little.

"She went outside to get some air, José went to check on her" _That fucker. _

I turn around to Elliot who is blatantly staring at Miss Kavanagh and tell him to stay here in case Anastasia comes back inside. Luckily he doesn't look to upset to stay near Miss Kavanagh who has just spotted him behind me. I walk quickly outside and try to find Anastasia. It's not long before I can hear her distressed voice.

"No, José, stop – no." _That fucker, he better get his filthy paws off her. _

"Please, Ana, cariño."

"José, no." I get over to where they are standing; the fucker José has his arms around Anastasia, one hand in her hair to hold her in place. A fresh rush of fury lances through me. I'm gonna fucking kill the fucker.

"I think the lady said no." I say quietly, but with as much malice as I can put into the words.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

José is glowering at me with a thunderous stare, really fucking annoyed that he didn't get to kiss her. No one kisses my girl I think and will him to disappear before I beat the fucking crap out of the fucker. _Except she isn't yours Grey. _

But before I manage to do anything else, Anastasia starts vomiting spectacularly onto the ground. José jumps backs with a look of disgust on his face. I reach over to remove her hair from the firing line and gently lead her over to a raised flowerbed so she can get it out of her system. I support her by the shoulders while holding her hair away, even though she is less than ladylike in this moment I enjoy the feel of her soft hair and her small shoulders in my hands. For some reason I feel extremely protective of her, I really want to take care of her. _What the hell is this; all these thoughts are wreaking havoc with my brain. You just need a sub, Grey, remember. _

When Anastasia is done vomiting, she tentatively stands up and I let go of her shoulders and hand her my handkerchief so she can dry her mouth. José is still hovering by the entrance to the bar, not really knowing what to do with himself. I give him an icy stare and will him to get the fuck away from Anastasia. I really need to know whether this is something Anastasia makes a habit of, getting drunk like this and putting herself at risk; it really isn't appropriate behaviour for a sub to act like this. I also need to get her home; she is exhausted and too drunk to continue the night anyway. I need to know that she is safe.

José finally goes inside telling Anastasia that he'll see her later. _Fucking no you won't, you fucker. _

"I'm sorry" she mutters utterly embarrassed. I'm intrigued as to what she is sorry about.

"What are you sorry for, Anastasia?"

"The phone call, mainly. Being sick. Oh, the list is endless."

"We've all been here, perhaps not quite as dramatically as you. It's about knowing your limits, Anastasia. I mean, I'm all for pushing limits, but really this is beyond the pale. Do you make a habit of this kind of behaviour?" She looks rather uncomfortable by my question and just when I think that she's about to come up with a cheeky answer she surprises me.

"No" she says contritely. "I've never been drunk before and right now I have no desire to ever be again." This makes me very satisfied, to know that it's just a one off. There may be potential yet. All of a sudden she starts to look weak and faint and start swaying a little. I grab a hold of her before she faints and again I have her in my arms. I look down at her beautiful face, her sweet scent is a little masked by the smell of alcohol, but I have to say I really like the feeling of her in my arms. _Yeah, this is where you belong, baby. _

I tell her that I'll take her home but she insists on having to tell Kate that she is leaving.

"My brother can tell her."

"What?"

"My brother Elliot is talking to Miss Kavanagh."

"Oh?" She has no idea what I'm talking about, but then again she doesn't know that I've been staying in Portland all week.

"He was with me when you phoned"

"In Seattle?" _Oh baby, you're way too drunk for me to explain that I've been staying here just for you._

"No. I'm staying at the Heathman."

"How did you find me?"

"I tracked your cell phone, Anastasia." She looks a little bewildered and disapproving. _I need to keep you safe baby. _

"Do you have a jacket or a purse?"

"Er . . . yes, I came with both. Christian, please, I need to tell Kate. She'll worry."

"If you must" _Argh for fucks sake, I just need to get you home, baby._

I lead her into the noisy bar again so she can collect her purse and jacket and tell Miss Kavanagh that I'll be taking her home. When she's spoken to some fucker she turns around to me and touches my arm and leans up to tell me that they are on the dance floor. I love the feel of her body flush against mine and the way she lightly touches my arm and leans into me.

_Easy there, Grey. Just a sub, remember. _

I lead her to the bar in order for her to get some water in her system. Rule number one when you're drinking; always eat and hydrate. I am suspecting though, that Anastasia didn't eat. We spot Katherine and my dear women-loving brother on the other side of the dance floor and I decide that the quickest way to get to them is by dancing our way across the dance floor. I take Anastasia in my arms again and start to dance. I'm a pretty good dancer, Elena taught me that too. Anastasia looks rather uncomfortable with this dancing, but I really enjoy having her in my arms again and she is slightly flushing, so I hope she's enjoying it too.

"Elliot, I'm taking Anastasia home, she wanted Katherine to know. Just tell her that Anastasia will be fine. And for Christ's sake, be safe Elliot."

"Sure thing little bro. But what the fuck is going on, is she your girlfriend Christian?"

"Fuck off Elliot. Just tell Katherine that Anastasia is safe, okay?"

"Sure, see you tomorrow little bro"

Elliot can be so annoying some times. But the truth is that I can't exactly tell him the truth, that I want Anastasia as my sub. So I just try to wriggle around that subject for a while. She's most likely not going to be in my life when she finds out who I am and what I want from her. But it certainly complicates things that Elliot has decided to go home with Miss Kavanagh tonight. But I can't think about that, it is most likely just a one night stand anyway, so nothing to worry about. When I've gotten us of the dance floor and start to make our way to the door, I can feel Anastasia weaken beside me. _Shit, she's going to faint. _She starts to fall towards the floor so I quickly grab her before she falls all the way.

"Fuck!"

I pick her up in my arms and carry her to the car. No way am I going to risk her being alone all night. I need to take her to the hotel and have her sleep in my room so I can keep an eye on her. I call Taylor so we can go in via the back entrance, I don't want to carry her through the lobby in this state. Taylor meets us by the entrance and offers to carry Anastasia, but I don't want him to. The truth is, that even though she is completely drunk and sleeping in my arms, I like having her here and the thought of another man getting his hands on her, just doesn't sit well with me.

We get to my suite and Taylor opens the door and makes his way to the couch and starts arranging the pillows so I can put Anastasia there, but I don't want her there, I want her in the bed so she is comfortable.

"Sir, the couch is ready"

"I'm putting her in my bed, Taylor"

"But, sir..."

"Taylor, I want her to be comfortable and safe. She's sleeping in my bed."

"Sir. Can I get housekeeping to ready the couch for you?

"No, Taylor, that's fine"

"Right... Okay... I'll just leave you to it. Let me know if you need anything Mr. Grey."

"Thank you, Taylor"

The truth is I want to be close to Ana in case she starts vomiting again or feels bad in any way. When I've put her down on the bed I can see that her jeans and Converse are spattered with vomit so I decide to take them off. I take of her Converse and socks and admire her sweet feet. Then I reach up and undo the button and zipper on her jeans, feeling sort of a creep for taking her clothes off when she is unconscious, but it needs to be done. I try my best not to touch her skin while sliding the jeans off her legs, but I can't help but brush against her skin because her jeans are so tight. Her skin is so soft and pale and even though she is only wearing simple white cotton panties she looks fantastic. _But you should be in satin and silk, baby._ She has these beautiful long legs and I can see the shape of her breasts through her t-shirt, she looks so attractive and my cock twists in response. I could never dream of doing anything to her, but God she looks beautiful. I bend down and kiss her on the forehead.

"Sleep tight, baby" _What the fuck possessed you to do that, Grey. She's supposed to be a sub, remember. _

She starts mumbling and smiling at my touch.

"Mmmmm ... Christian... mmmm"

At the sound of my name on her lips while she's sleeping, I get this tickling feeling in my stomach. _What the fuck is that all about. _ It's not something I've tried before so I have no idea why I got that, but I felt happy I guess and certainly hoping that she's having a nice dream about me.

I call Taylor and ask him to get some clean clothes and shoes for Ana and take her jeans and Converse to the laundry service. I check a few emails and when I'm finished I go into the bedroom and sit in the chair and look at Anastasia sleeping. She is gorgeous and I really have no idea how I will tell her about my sexual wishes and what I want her to do nor do I know how I can stay away from her. That just simply isn't an option, I cannot leave her alone. I am really struggling with all these thoughts, I've never felt this strongly about any of my subs, this need to have one exact woman, but right now I cannot imagine having anyone else than Anastasia. I think back to my previous subs, how our agreements have been.

I have a very clear contract that she signs, she has a room of her own at Escala and she is at my beck and call for the whole weekend, so I can fuck her whenever and wherever I want. She also cooks, but we never really spend any time together, we eat together but never really talk that much about anything, especially not personal things. None of the subs have ever met my family and I never want that to happen either, my family should not know this side of me. None of the subs have ever called me by my given name, they call me "sir" and if they are good subs they get to call me "master". There has been nothing personal between us, the only sub that has really tried and actually gotten more personal than anyone was Leila, she was so happy and mischievous all the time and she was a really good sub, she was up for whatever kinky stuff I had planned. At some point though, I sensed that it was getting out of hand; she was extremely curious and started walking about in the apartment and sticking her nose in stuff that wasn't any of her business. One day she proclaimed that she wanted more, she wanted hearts and flowers and she loved me. Then she was out, I don't do hearts and flowers – ever!

Hearts and flowers is just not an option for a man like me, I don't have a heart to give to anyone. Good people like my mom and dad deserve that, but not me. I don't deserve to be loved, even though my parents say that they love me, I find it very difficult to believe them, especially because if they knew the real me, they wouldn't love me.

I look over at Anastasia again and wonder what I'm going to do if she tells me that she wants more, I can't imagine that she's ever been a sub before, so she may run screaming from me when I tell her that I'm a Dom or she may say that she wants a regular relationship with hearts and flowers.

_Arghh I don't know what the fuck to do here. I fucking hate not being in total control._

I haven't spoken to Flynn since I met Anastasia, so he has no idea that I'm chasing after her like some horny fucking teenager. He's supposed to be back from holiday this week, but I'm stuck here in Portland so it'll have to wait until next week, even though I could really use a session with the good doctor to try and figure all this shit out.

I've no idea how long I've just been sitting watching Anastasia sleep, but I find it hard to not look at her. For some odd reason I feel calm, something that only my piano usually gives me. Eventually I figure I'd better go to bed and try to get some sleep. I slip into my pyjama bottoms and lie down next to Anastasia in the bed – it's really odd having someone lying next to me. I've never had a woman sleeping with me, my subs sleep in their own bedroom. I like the feel of her steady breathing next to me though, it's calming and I can smell the sweet scent in her hair lying on the pillow next to me. I turn around so I fall asleep with my nose next to her hair and breathing her sweet scent.

When I wake up it's pretty early, but I cannot remember the last time I slept so good and comfortable. I haven't had a nightmare, which I usually have during the night and I feel rested. When I come to my senses I realize that my hand is lying on Anastasia's hip and one of my legs is tangled between hers. _Wow, I never ever thought I'd see the day._ I never sleep with anyone because of my fear of being touched. When I was a kid the crackwhore's pimp stubbed cigarettes on my chest and back, and hit me with a belt. That has resulted in the fact that I don't want anyone to touch me on the chest or back. I'm okay with being touched on the arms if it's someone I know and trust, but otherwise I completely panic. So I never sleep with anyone, because they may accidentally touch me and that would be fucking horrible. There's also the fact that I have nightmares almost every night, yet another reason for sleeping alone. But this has been a good experience, I feel comfortable next to Anastasia and I've woken up with a serious erection so now I need to burn off some energy.

I call Taylor to tell him to come to my room to keep an eye on Anastasia so she's doesn't run away while I'm in the gym. I want to have a chance to talk to her before she leaves. I really want to see her again, so I have to do something. I'm not quite ready to tell her about my playroom, but I really want to spend more time with her. _So what, Grey, you're going to ask her on a date again? You don't do dates, remember?_

I take a quick run and lift some weights, but I'm anxious to get back to the suite in case Anastasia wakes up. I don't want her to panic or anything. I hurry back to the suite and tell Taylor to leave us and that I'll call him if I need him. I have a feeling that he thinks I've completely lost it and because of that we have now spent a week in Portland for no other reason than the lovely Miss Steele, now lying in my bed.

I gently knock on the door before entering the bedroom and to my delight Anastasia is awake.

"Good morning, Anastasia. How are you feeling?" To my delight she's drunk the orange juice I put out for her and taken the advil.

"Better than I deserve" she mumbles and looks up at me through her lashes. _Shit, she's sexy when she does that._

"How did I get here?" She says in a small contrite voice. I walk over to the bed and sit down close to her. Her breath hitches slightly and she's looking at my shirt and seems like she's lost in thought.

"After you passed out, I didn't want to risk the leather upholstery in my car taking you all the way to your apartment. So I brought you here." I can't very well tell her that I really wanted her here.

"Did you put me to bed?"

"Yes."

"Did I throw up again?"

"No."

"Did you undress me?"

"Yes." I look intently at her, trying to figure out where she is going with these questions.

"We didn't-?" She can't get herself to say it and she blushes and stares at her hands.

"Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive."

"I'm so sorry." I can't help but smile at her words.

"It was a very diverting evening. Not one that I'll forget in a while."

"You didn't have to track me down with whatever James Bond gadgetry you're developing for the highest bidder." She snaps at me. _Easy Miss Steele, I need you safe._

"First, the technology to track cell phones is available over the internet. Second, my company does not invest or manufacture any kind of surveillance devices. And third, if I hadn't come to get you, you'd probably be waking up in the photographer's bed, and from what I can remember, you weren't overly enthused about him pressing his suit." She actually starts giggling at me when I say this. _That is such a wonderful sound._

"Which medieval chronicle did you escape from? You sound like a courtly night." _What the fuck, where did that come from? _

"Anastasia, I don't think so. Dark knight, maybe. Did you eat last night?" She just shakes her head, looking a little frightened. _As I thought._

"You need to eat. That's why you were so ill. Honestly, it's drinking rule number one."

"Are you going to continue to scold me?"

"Is that what I'm doing?"

"I think so."

"You're lucky I'm just scolding you." _If you were my sub, I'd be punishing you right this moment. I'd be spanking the living shit out of you._

"What do you mean?"

"Well, if you were mine, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a week after the stunt you pulled yesterday. You didn't eat, you got drunk, you put yourself at risk. I hate to think what could have happened to you." _I could really take care of you, baby._

"I would have been fine. I was with Kate."

"And the photographer?" _That fucker._

"José just got out of line."

"Well, the next time he gets out of line, maybe someone should teach him some manners."

"You are quite the disciplinarian." _Oh you have no idea, baby. You probably don't want to know anyway._

"Oh, Anastasia, you have no idea." I smile at her because she looks a little angry. She's gazing at me and she completely forgets to breathe as she's staring at me smiling. _Oh, good reaction, baby._

"I'm going to have a shower now. Unless you'd like to shower first?"

At this question her eyes widen a little and she's just staring at me. _Oh I'm hoping you are having the same erotic thoughts about me as I have of you, baby." _I reach over and trace my thumb down her cheek and over her lower lip. _Oh, it's so soft and erotic._

I walk to the bathroom and strip, just from touching her lip I've got an erection again. _So much for working out for an hour._ I relax in the shower wondering when to tell her about me. Even though she'd just woken up there was this electrical spark between us and I really, really want her. I have to find a way to tell her and hope to God that she will go along with it. I suddenly remember that I've left the bag with her new clothes and shoes in the bedroom, so if she found it she could be out the door and I wouldn't have gotten a chance to talk to her. I quickly grab a small towel and wrap it around my waist, not bothering to really dry off and walk into the bedroom where Anastasia is out of bed and in search of her clothes. _Phew, just in time._

She looks a little like she's going to faint when she sees me wearing nothing but a small towel to cover the essentials. I know I'm considered a pretty good looking guy and since I really want Anastasia, I figure it can't hurt to use what I've got to my advantage. I tell her that there are some new clothes in the bag, which she grabs and darts to the bathroom rather flustered.

In the mean time I get dressed and then text Elliot to tell him, to tell Kate that Anastasia is okay.

*Morning big bro. Tell Kate that Anastasia is fine and I'll be taking her home a little later*

*Told her. So did you get laid?*

I smile and shake my head at his curiosity. _Fucking nosy bastard._ I don't bother to reply.

I sit by the dining table with all the breakfast. I had trouble deciding what to do, there is way too much breakfast here, but I didn't know what Anastasia liked and she didn't eat last night, so she needs to get a proper meal this morning. So I ordered a lot of breakfast, even though I fucking hate wasting food. I also made sure that they brought some Twinnings English Breakfast Tea, as I remember that it is Anastasia's favourite.

Anastasia emerges from the bedroom with wet hair, anxious about not letting Kate know where she is. I tell her that I texted Elliot, so she need not worry.

We talk a little at the breakfast table and she fucking wants to pay me back for the new clothes and she thinks that the books I bought her are too much. _I'm going to buy you lots of things, baby, just say thank you as a good sub would do._ She also tells me that she and Kate are moving to Seattle, not far from Escala, which is perfect if she agrees to be my sub. _Hold your horses Grey, you haven't told her yet._

She also tells me that she's applied for some internships and I really want to know whether she has applied to my company.

"Have you applied to my company as I suggested?"

"Um...no."

"And what's wrong with my company?"

"Your company or your_ company_?" Of all the cheeky comments! She's smirking at me!

"Are you smirking at me, Miss Steele?" She blushes and looks down at her breakfast and then she's biting that delicious lip. _The little vixen._

"I'd like to bite that lip." _What the fuck possessed you to say that, Grey? Can't you even keep it in your pants for a few days? Or are you just trying to seduce her?_

She gasps and starts panting even though I haven't even touched her. Then she completely takes me by surprise.

"Why don't you?" Shit, I have to show her my playroom and hope that she doesn't run screaming. I really, really want her.

"Because I'm not going to touch you, Anastasia – not until I have your written consent to do so." I have to get her to sign first the NDA and then the contract, before I do anything else. I don't trust myself to keep my hands to myself and I need to know that she's consenting to what I want.

"What does that mean?"

"Exactly what I say. I need to show you, Anastasia."

I ask her when she's off work and invite her to Escala tonight so I can show her what's it's all about. She's agreeing to go tonight so I arrange for us to fly up in Charlie Tango when she gets off work and then arrange for a stand-by pilot all night in case she runs screaming when I show her my playroom. When I've finally gotten her to eat her breakfast I relax a little and tell her that I'll take her home once she's dried her hair which is still very damp. I don't want her to catch a cold. When she's on her way into the bedroom she turns around.

"Where did you sleep last night?"

"In my bed."

"Oh."

"Yes, it was quite a novelty for me, too."

"Not having . . . sex." She's turning that lovely shade of pink in the cheeks again.

"No. Sleeping with someone." And as I don't want her to ask any further questions on that subject I lift my newspaper and continue to read.

When we leave she stops on her way out of the door and looks at me for a fraction and then walks towards the elevators. _Oh, I wish I knew what she was thinking._ When we are waiting for the elevator she looks up at me through her lashes, biting her lip. She looks so incredibly sexy when she does that, but I'm not even sure she knows it herself. My cock is starting to get really hard, just by looking at her. The elevator arrives and we walk in. When the doors close this electricity between is there again and when I look at Anastasia she's looking up at me, biting her lip and her breathing is shallow. I just can't resist her, I have to kiss her and feel her soft lips against mine.

"Oh, fuck the paperwork" I growl and turn to Anastasia. I take both of her hands in one of mine and lift them up over her head so she doesn't accidentally touch me and pin her to the wall so she can feel my erection, so she can feel what she does to me. I grab her ponytail so I bring her lips to mine. She moans and I take full advantage, letting my tongue explore and she tentatively lets her tongue meet mine and we enjoy the feel of each other. _Shit, fuck, what was that? Wow._

"You. Are. So. Sweet." I tell her. I don't know what it was, but that kiss was nothing like I've ever kissed before. I got that weird feeling in my stomach again, that I got last night too. Poor Anastasia is panting as some businessmen enter the elevator smirking when they see her. I could taste that she'd brushed her teeth.

"I used your toothbrush." _Fuck, that is sexy. I want her even more now._

"Oh, Anastasia Steele, what am I going to do with you?"

The doors open and I take Anastasia's hand in mine, wondering how I will ever be able to keep away from her if she run tonight.

"What is it about elevators?" I mutter to myself.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As we walk to the car we don't speak, we're both lost in thought. Anastasia looks like she's completely bewildered by what just happened in the elevator. I'm feeling a little lost myself, I don't really know what this means and it is all very confusing. I feel myself losing control when it comes to Anastasia, I can't keep away from her and I want her all the time. And there's the issue of my nosy big brother, what the fuck am I going to tell him? He's going to want some answers and I can't exactly tell him that I want her to be my sub, but I can't very well tell him that she's my girlfriend either, she may run screaming tonight and then it's going to be really difficult to explain.

I open the car door for Anastasia and she gets in quietly. I wonder what she's thinking. I'm pretty sure she liked it judging from the way she looked afterwards and even now she is slightly flushed and flustered. _Oh, this is so fucking confusing. _

When I reverse out of the parking space I turn on the music and Anastasia asks me what the music is.

"It's "The Flower Duet" by Delibes, from the opera Lakmé. Do you like it?"

"Christian, it's wonderful."

"It is, isn't it?" I am so excited that she likes the music, it means the world to me that she likes what I'm playing. _Take it easy, Grey. _

She asks if she can hear it again and seems completely lost in the music, a little like I get when I play the piano.

"You like classical music" she asks.

"My taste is eclectic, Anastasia, everything from Thomas Tallis to the Kings of Leon. It depends on my mood. You?"

"Me, too. Though I don't know who Thomas Tallis is."

"I'll play it for you sometime. He's a sixteenth-century British composer. Tudor, church choral music. Sounds very esoteric, I know, but it's also magical." _Easy there Grey, how much time to you expect to be spending with this girl, not fucking…_

I'm really trying very hard to figure out what the fuck to do here, but I've come to the conclusion that I can't really do anything before I know what Anastasia is going to do. I just need to figure out what I'm going to tell Elliot today, but I guess I'll just have to wing it.

During our drive to Anastasia's apartment both Welch and Andrea ring me. When Anastasia was drying her hair I asked Andrea to draw up an NDA that Anastasia can sign tonight when she comes to Escala. That really is the first step, before we can go any further. I really should have waited to kiss her until she'd signed the NDA, but she was so fucking sexy that I couldn't help myself.

Then Elliot rings me, I have the phone on speaker since it is a really bad idea to talk handheld when you are driving.

"Hi, Christian, d'you get laid?" _For fucks sake, Anastasia is listening._

"Hello, Elliot – I'm on speakerphone, and I'm not alone in the car."

"Who's with you?" _Oh, for fucks sake. _

"Anastasia Steele"

"Hi, Ana." _Ana? What the fuck, he doesn't even know her._

"Hello, Elliot."

"Heard a lot about you." _For fucks sake, he probably knows more about her than I do. _

"Don't believe a word Kate says." Elliot is just laughing. _Oh I wish I knew what Kate has told him about Anastasia. _

"I'm dropping Anastasia off now. Shall I pick you up?"

"Sure."

"See you shortly."

Then Anastasia asks me why I insist on using her full name. The truth is I'm still getting used to this whole, calling each other by the first name with someone so new in my life. But I just love when she calls me Christian, I love the way she says my name, it somehow sounds so sensual.

I also tell her that what happened in the elevator won't happen again. She looks a little confused and I feel I should explain more, but it will have to wait until tonight. Then I can just show her and she can make up her own mind. Then when I go to open the door for her, again she completely takes me by surprise as only she can.

"I liked what happened in the elevator." So now I can hardly wait until this evening.

When we get into the apartment Miss Kavanagh leaps off her chair to hug Anastasia and is examining her at arm's length as if to see if I've hurt her. I really don't like Miss Kavanagh much. Then fucking Elliot gets up to hug Anastasia too, this is getting too much. _My girl, get your fucking hands off her._

When I tell Elliot that we'd better go, he turns around to Miss Kavanagh and kisses her very affectionately. I can see Anastasia looking at them enviously; if that's what she wants I am definitely not her man. I just don't do public affection. I've never brought a sub on a date or kissed her publicly. _Yet you already have your second date with Miss Steele tonight. Hmm!_

Anastasia is staring down at her feet looking both embarrassed and like she doesn't really know what to do with herself. She looks up at me, narrowing her eyes trying to convey a message, probably that she wants me to do the same as Elliot, but that's just not me. I really, really want to kiss her again, but I need to get her to sign the NDA first. I can't risk anything. I tuck a stray lock of her hair behind her sweet little ear and as I touch her, her breath hitches and she leans into my touch. I gently trace my finger down her cheek and across her lower lip. Her skin is so soft and I could stand here a lot longer than I'm going to, because now my nosy little brother has noticed my very unusual display of affection for someone else, and I really can't deal with him being too nosy about my relationship with Anastasia. I lean a little closer and whisper "Laters, baby", not really something I would usually do, but I can sense Anastasia's despondency and I want to lighten the mood a little. She starts laughing and I know I've succeeded. I tell her that I'll pick her up at eight and turn to leave with Elliot, who turns around and blows a kiss at Miss Kavanagh and I can see Anastasia watching with envy.

Once we are out of reach from the girls, I quickly start a conversation with Elliot in the hope that he'll forget to ask me about Anastasia. _Yeah right, like he'll forget that. He's NEVER seen you like that with a girl; actually he's never seen you with a girl before. _

"So, you want to go hiking?"

"Trying to change the subject little bro?"

"There isn't a subject, we haven't spoken yet."

"You know what I mean. What's the story with Ana?"

"Fuck off Elliot, there is no story with _Anastasia_." _I really wish he'd just shut up._

"I'm not letting you get out of this one little bro; you're going to spill the beans. But yes, let's go hiking."

We drive in silence to the hotel, Elliot needs to change into something a little more hiking friendly and so do I. We agree to meet up at twelve and have some lunch and then go hiking. When I get back to my suite I try to figure out what to tell Elliot, again. I think I need to find out how serious he is with Kate, they seemed like it was more than just a one night stand, which makes things a bit more complicated. If I tell him that Anastasia is my girlfriend and she runs screaming tonight I have to come up with a really good reason, knowing that she must have told Kate something that could possibly reach Elliot's ears, so that would be a really bad idea. On the other hand, I can't tell him that she means nothing to me, first I have no idea what Anastasia tells Kate, who might tell Elliot, second, he saw me with her this morning and since he's never seen me that affectionate with anyone I can't really hide the fact that I like her. _Fuck this is so complicated and I fucking hate not being in control of everything. _I'm starting to really need a session with the good Dr. Flynn. I'm really anxious about tonight, because I really want her to agree to the contract. I really want to fuck her, preferably shackled on my wooden cross. _Argh, dammit, don't think about that now. _

I decide to just check on the Darfur shipment I talked to Ros about earlier and answer some emails before our hiking trip. To be honest I can't really concentrate, I'm thinking about tonight and trying to prepare myself mentally for Anastasia running from me, I just don't know what I'll do if she does. I really like her in my life, I like the fact that she talks back to me, her smart mouth, her intelligence, I just like her.

At twelve Elliot and I meet in the hotel bar for a quick lunch and of course he wants to talk about Anastasia. _Like you couldn't have fucking guessed._

"So little bro, you're going to have to spill the beans. Kate tells me you've got Ana in a total whirlwind." _What the fuck, what did she tell him._

"I don't know what you mean." _Just fucking tell me what she said._

"Kate says that Ana is this sweet and innocent girl and she's been on an emotional rollercoaster since she met you. Kate thinks she really likes you and I have NEVER even seen you with a girl and yet here you are, all sweet to Ana.

"Shut up Elliot." _What the fuck am I supposed to say to that. _

"Christian, there's obviously something going on, but what is it? Is she your girlfriend?"

"Look Elliot, we've just met, we're figuring things out." _That should satisfy him so we can change the subject."_

"Kate said that Ana never dates, so she's not used to her acting like this. I'm just curious; you've never brought a girl home. None of us has ever seen you with anyone, so this is quite a change. I think mom will be very happy about this." _Fuck, that's the last thing I need. Him running to mom, to tell her that I've got a girlfriend._

"You are not saying anything to mom or Mia, or dad for that matter. Got it?"

"Chill little bro. I think mom will be very happy for you. We all will be, if you've finally found someone." _All this emotional shit, I fucking hate it._

"As I said, we're figuring things out. Don't say anything to anyone, okay?."

"Okay okay, I won't say you've got a girlfriend."

"She's not my fucking girlfriend." _Oh, this is getting out of hand. Having a girl as a sub, who my family also knows. How is that going to fucking work?_

"Fine."

"So what's the deal with you and Miss Kavanagh?"

"Her name is Kate, Christian."

"Kate."

"I dunno. We had a great night, fucked most of the night; she is so great you wouldn't believe it."

"Fuck, Elliot. I DON'T want to know about your sex life, okay?"

"Hey, just saying it as it is, little bro. You know, if you need any advice about sex, you can always come to me. I do know a thing or two about satisfying a woman." _If only he knew how I can satisfy women, he wouldn't be so cocky._

"Fuck off Elliot."

"Just saying, if you need any tips, you can always come to me."

"As I said, fuck off Elliot."

We eat our lunch in relative silence, talking a little baseball but luckily no more of Anastasia or Kate. I really don't know what I'll do about my family knowing about her. I'm pretty sure that Elliot is going to tell our mom in some way.

On our hike we talk a little, but mostly it's just to burn of energy. Ever since we were kids we've both had an urge to burn of energy by doing challenging physical activities. This afternoon is no different and we challenge ourselves which suits me perfectly, then I can get some of the anxiousness out of my body. I'm really looking forward to seeing Anastasia tonight, more than I thought I would. I couldn't bear it if she says no to the contract. I really want her as my sub.

When we get back to the hotel after our hike we say our goodbyes, Elliot is staying behind to spend the evening with Miss Kavanagh. I get rather quietly around the fact that I'm brining Anastasia to Escala tonight. Elliot's phone rang just as I told him and since it was the tenacious Miss Kavanagh he forgot to badger me about bringing a girl to my apartment.

As I'm getting ready to pick up Anastasia I'm wondering how to totally ensnare her, so that she'll say yes. But as Elliot just confirmed for me today, Anastasia is an innocent girl, so she probably knows nothing about my lifestyle and she'll probably be pretty scared when she sees my playroom.

I meet up with Taylor and we drive to Clayton's to pick up Anastasia. I'm getting more and more nervous which is not at all like me, I rarely get nervous, like this anyway. I just can't figure out why the fuck I'm so nervous.

I think my heart skips a beat when I see Anastasia make her way out the doors. I climb out of the car to open the door for Anastasia.

"Good evening, Miss Steele."

"Mr. Grey." I'm completely caught in her spell and acting most unlike what I would usually do, but I just can't help myself. I feel my control slip a little, which really doesn't fucking suit me. I get back in the car and take her lovely hand in mine. This is usually not something I would do, I don't really do public affection, but I just want to be close to her, to feel her skin against mine. _Holy hell, what is going on here, Grey?_

We talk a little on the short ride to where the helicopter is. When we get inside and wait for the elevator, I can tell that Anastasia is thinking about this morning because her breathing has become a little rapid and she's flushed. I can't say that I'm not affected either.

"It's only three floors." She tries to look as unaffected as possible, but I know she wants to do it again.

When we get to the roof, Anastasia is eyeing the helicopter with a mix of fear and wonder. _Maybe she's afraid of flying. No, she would have said something this morning then, I'm sure._

I get my flight plan from Joe and we walk over to the helicopter and I help her in and tell her to sit in the front. Now my favourite part, I get to strap her in. When I crouch next to her so I can strap her in she simply stops breathing and is looking at me with pure lust. _Fuck that is sexy._

"You're secure, no escaping. Breathe, Anastasia." I reach up and caress her cheek and tip her head slightly and kiss her chastely. _What the fuck made you do that, Grey? You never kiss a sub unless it's during a scene. _

"I like this harness." She looks utterly bewildered by my statement.

We talk a little while I'm running through all my pre-flight checks and after confirming with the tower, we take off from Portland. Anastasia looks impressed as we leave the city and rise into the darkness.

I can't really figure out whether she's scared, excited or something else entirely. She staring wide-eyed at everything.

"You okay, Anastasia?"

"Yes."

I talk to air traffic control then point out Seattle in the horizon.

"Look, over there. That's Seattle."

"Do you always impress women this way? 'Come and fly in my helicopter'?"

I make it a point to tell her that I've never done this before, that she is special. Because even though I want her as my sub and for her to follow the contract, I already know that she already means more to me than any other sub I've ever had.

"I've never brought a girl up here, Anastasia. It's another first for me."

"Are you impressed?"

"I'm awed, Christian"

"Awed?"

"You're just so . . . competent."

"Why, thank you, Miss Steele."

When we reach Seattle I tell her that we'll be there in a few minutes and she looks wide-eyed again and nervous.

I put down Charlie Tango and unbuckle myself and reach over to unbuckle Anastasia.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. You know that, don't you?" I have to make sure she knows that I'm not pressuring her to do anything.

"I'd never do anything I didn't want to do, Christian."

I look at her to make sure she means this, even though I've tried to seduce her it is suddenly very important to me that she knows this.

I wrap my arm around her and we make our way to the elevator. We get to my apartment and I lead her inside, she looks overwhelmed. I guess this is somewhat different than her own apartment. I ask her if she wants a glass of wine, this might help her to relax a little, but I don't want her to be drunk either. I hand her the glass of wine after she's told me that she knows nothing about wine, so this will be fine.

"You're very quiet, and you're not even blushing. In fact, I think this is the palest I've ever seen you, Anastasia. Are you hungry?"

"It's a very big place you have here."

"Big?" _It's just as I want it._

"Big."

"It's big" I guess I'll take it as a compliment.

"Do you play?" she asks pointing to the piano.

"Yes."

"Well?"

"Yes."

"Of course you do. Is there anything you can't do well?"

"Yes . . . a few things." I keep my eyes on Anastasia to try to grasp what she is thinking. She looks overwhelmed and nervous.

We sit on the couch and she asks me why I bought her the books.

"Well, you said you liked Thomas Hardy."

"Is that the only reason?" She actually sounds disappointed as she says this.

"It seemed appropriate. I could hold you to some impossibly high ideal like Angel Clare or debase you completely like Alec d'Urberville."

"If there are only two choices, I'll take the debasement."

"Anastasia, stop biting your lip, please. It's very distracting. You don't know what you're saying." _Fuck, I really want her now that she's sitting here in my home, so close to my playroom._

"That's why I'm here." _Okay, here goes nothing. Oh fuck please, let her say yes to this._

"Yes. Would you excuse for a moment?" I go to my study and get the non-disclosure agreement and realise how fucking nervous I am.

"This is a nondisclosure agreement. My lawyer insists on it. If you're going for option two, debasement, you'll need to sign this." _Please, please, please let this first step go smoothly._

"And if I don't sign anything?" _Please don't say no!_

"Then it's Angel Clare high ideals, well, for most of the book anyway."

"What does this agreement mean?"

"It means you cannot disclose anything about us. Anything to anyone."

"Okay. I'll sign." _YES!_

"Aren't you even going to read it?"

"No"

Anastasia, you should always read anything you sign." It is so irresponsible not to read something you're going to sign, very carefully.

"Christian, what you fail to understand is that I wouldn't talk about us to anyone anyway. Even Kate. So it's immaterial whether I sign an agreement or not. If it means so much to you, or your lawyer . . . whom _you_ obviously talk to, then fine. I'll sign."

"Fair point well made, Miss Steele."

She signs both copies and puts one in her purse. The next step is actually harder for me than I thought it would be. Probably because this is make or break time.

"Does this mean you're going to make love to me tonight, Christian?" _WHAT THE FUCK! Where did that come from? She never ceases to amaze me. Especially because I don't make love. I just need to show her right now, so she doesn't get the wrong idea about why she's here. _

"No, Anastasia, it doesn't. First, I don't make love. I fuck . . . hard. Second, there's a lot more paperwork to do. And third, you don't yet know what you are in for. You could still run for the hills. Come, I want to show you my playroom." _Okay, this is it. Please don't run, baby. I want you._

Then she asks me if I want to play on my Xbox, which is actually really funny. But because I'm so anxious I can't even laugh at it.

When we reach the playroom door I tell her that she can leave anytime she wants, but she just wants me to open the door.

So I do.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Anastasia walks in to the playroom and starts to walk around observing everything in the room. She looks lost in thought and I observe her intently. It is so extremely distracting having her in my playroom, my cock is starting to get hard and I start imagining her against my wooden cross, shackled to the bed, bent over my whipping bench. _I really have to stop these thoughts and focus on Anastasia and whether she is getting ready to run or not. _

She walks around my playroom looking at everything and ends up by the whips and riding crops. She touches the flogger with curiosity.

"It's called a flogger."

She doesn't respond just looks around like she's a little in shock. I can barely stand it, I'm fucking scared she's going to run, but she is giving nothing away. I can't really read her facial expression, but I really need to know how this is going to end.

"Say something."

"Do you do this to people or do they do it to you?" _Oh thank god, she's not telling me what a fucked up bastard I am._

"People? I do this to women who want me to."

"If you have willing volunteers, why am I here?"

"Because I want to do this with you, very much." _More than you know, baby. _

"Oh."

"You're a sadist?" _Oh no baby, we're not going there. _

"I'm a Dominant."

"What does that mean?" _Oh you really are an innocent Miss Steele. What I could do to you._

"It means I want you to willingly surrender yourself to me, in all things."

"Why would I do that?"

"To please me." "In very simple terms, I want you to want to please me"

"How do I do that?

"I have rules, and I want you to comply with them. They are for your benefit and for my pleasure. If you follow these rules to my satisfaction, I shall reward you. If you don't, I shall punish you, and you will learn."

"And where does all this fit in?"

"It's all part of the incentive package. Both reward and punishment."

"So you'll get your kicks by exerting your will over me?"

"It's about gaining your trust and your respect, so you'll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more you submit, the greater my joy – it's a very simple equation." _Fuck this is too much. Anastasia is just standing there quietly asking question and I cannot stop imagining her naked and cuffed with her on her knees sucking my cock. _

"Okay, and what do I get out of this?" _What do you expect, baby?_

"Me" _Okay, this is getting too much, I need to get her out of here before I just fuck her. _

"You're not giving anything away, Anastasia. Let's go back downstairs where I can concentrate better. It's very distracting having you in here."

I hold my hand out to Anastasia but she just looks doubtful, I fear that she's afraid that I'm going to hurt her.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Anastasia." _At least not until you sign the contract. Then we can start to play. _

I show her what will be her bedroom, if she agrees to do this. But she actually looks horrified by the idea of staying here; she thinks that I want her to move in. Other would jump at the chance of living here, but not Anastasia, she definitely has a mind of her own and is very stubborn. She asks me if she's not going to be sleeping with me and I have to tell her that I don't sleep with anyone even though I have with her once. _That was a great night; I sat up for hours just watching her. She looked so beautiful just lying there and the way she said my name in her sleep was fantastic. _But I can't tell her that.

We go down to the kitchen to get something to eat and I really want to know if she has any questions for me. She must be overwhelmed and I really don't want to risk her running out on me. I really want her to agree to this, but I'm suspecting that she hasn't done anything as kinky as this before because of the look on her face when she walked into my playroom.

At the breakfast bar she asks me a few thing about why I am this way but I'm not going to tell her that Elena seduced me when I was 15 and that she taught me all this, then she'll definitely run. And I've never told any of my subs about Elena, so why should I start now. They've all met her though; she owns the beauty salon that I take my subs to, to get waxed. I insist on my subs being free of body hair, always.

She's very reluctant to eat. So I try to convince her to eat. I really hate it when people don't eat. Having been deprived of the possibility to eat when I was a little boy has scarred me, I really hate when people don't appreciate that they have food and can eat any time they wish.

She doesn't want to eat because she hasn't signed anything yet, she is so enormously stubborn, but I can't really make her do it.

She is curious about the BDSM which makes me a bit hopeful that she will not run, but I cannot assume anything, I need to be sure.

"Is it easy to find women who want to do this?" _You have no idea, baby._

"You'd be amazed."

"Then why me? I really don't understand." _Oh, baby. I just need to have you. You are so amazing that I can't keep away from you._

"Anastasia, I've told you. There's something about you. I can't leave you alone. I'm like a moth to a flame." _I've never EVER said anything like this to a sub, let alone a woman, before. But it is the truth and I feel I need to say some sweet words to get her to agree to this. _

"I want you very badly, especially now, when you are biting your lip again."

"I think you have that cliché the wrong way around." _What does she mean by that? Hopefully not hearts and flowers..._

"Eat."

"No. I haven't signed anything yet, so I think I'll hang on to my free will for a bit longer, if that's okay with you." _Oh for fucks sake. But she is smart, I'll give her that. And I need to get her to sign that contract. _

"As you wish, Miss Steele."

"How many women?"

"Fifteen."

"For long periods of time?"

"Some of them, yes." _I'm attempting to be as honest as possible with her, but it's really difficult. I've never discussed this in so much detail before._

"Have you ever hurt anyone?" _Uh oh._

"Yes." Now she looks really scared and I just hope this will not make her run.

"Badly?"

"No."

"Will you hurt me?" _What does she mean; of course I will do painful things to her._

"What do you mean?"

"Physically, will you hurt me?"

"I will punish you when you require it, and it will be painful."

"Have you ever been beaten?" I decide to answer her honestly, just not the details of by whom.

"Yes. Let's discuss this in my study. I want to show you something."

I lead her into my study and motion for her to sit down. I hand her the rules and ask her to read them. She looks rather overwhelmed as she is reading them and I'm starting to wonder what I will do if she gets up now and walks out the door.

"Hard limits?" _Maybe she isn't running!_

"Yes. What you won't do, what I won't do, we need to specify in our agreement."

"I'm not sure about accepting money for clothes. It feels wrong." _Does she not have any idea how much money I make for fucks sake?_

"I want to lavish money on you. Let me buy you some clothes. I may need you to accompany me to functions, and I want you dressed well. I'm sure your salary, when you do get a job, won't cover the kind of clothes I'd like you to wear." I feel I need to convince her on this point, that she probably won't accept my money unless I tell her this. It's not like I've ever brought my subs to any functions before. But I have a feeling that Anastasia is the kind of girl I would like to have with me at the functions I go to. She's a bright girl and would fit in at such occasions. _You don't take sub out, remember, Grey?_

"I don't have to wear them when I'm not with you?"

"No."

"Okay." She looks very apprehensive.

"I don't want to exercise four times a week."

"Anastasia, I need you supple, strong, and with stamina. Trust me, you need to exercise." _I need to be able to fuck you several times, baby._

"But surely not four times a week. How about three?"

"I want you to do four." _Why the fuck can't she just accept she needs to work out."_

"I thought this was a negotiation?" I did tell her that earlier, I'd better loosen up on her then.

"Okay, Miss Steele, another point well made. How about an hour on three days and one day half an hour?"

"Three days, three hours. I get the impression you're going to keep me exercised when I'm here." _Holy fuck, does this mean she's saying yes? I suddenly feel like jumping up and down. I get to fuck the delectable Miss Steele whenever, wherever I want. YES!_ I feel utterly relieved and can't stop myself from smiling.

"Yes, I am. Okay, agreed. Are you sure you don't want to intern at my company? You're a good negotiator." _Remember your rules Grey, you don't fuck the staff._

"No, I don't think that's a good idea." She might have a point there.

"So, limits. These are mine." I hand her the paper with the limits written down and watch her as she reads them, her eyes widening slightly.

"Is there anything you'd like to add?" She just looks a little confused and don't answer my question. What's wrong, it's just a simple question. I need her to be honest with me, otherwise this won't work.

"Is there anything you won't do?"

"I don't know" _What the fuck does she mean? She must know what she doesn't like to do when she's had sex._

"What do you mean you don't know?" Now she's biting her lip, I know there's something she isn't telling me.

"I've never done anything like this." _I've guessed as much, baby. But what the fuck aren't you telling me. _Maybe she's had some sort of awkward experience and that's why she's shy about all this.

"Well, when you've had sex, was there anything that you didn't like doing?" Now she's blushing and she starts squirming. _What the fuck is wrong? _I'm starting to lose my temper a little; I need to know what's wrong.

"You can tell me, Anastasia. We have to be honest with each other or this isn't going to work." She just keeps squirming and looking down at her hands. I'm starting to get angry, because she's holding something from me.

"Tell me."

"Well . . . I haven't had sex before, so I don't know." _WHAT, FUCK, WHAT, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK . . . NO, NO, NO. I must have heard her wrong._

"Never?" She shakes her head, looking at me with apprehension. I need to get this straight.

"You're a virgin?" She nods and I start to feel a slow panic rising in me. _Why the fuck didn't she tell me this? _I've just shown her my playroom for fucks sake. I knew she was innocent, but not this innocent. I would have never, fucking ever gone after her if I had known this. I guess that's why Welch couldn't find any sexual history on her. _Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, what the fuck do I do now? _I'm really angry, no really fucking furious right now.

"Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"

I run my hands through my hair, a habit I have when I'm irritated. Anastasia is just looking at me.

"I don't understand why you didn't tell me."

"The subject never came up. I'm not in the habit of revealing my sexual status to everyone I meet. I mean, we hardly know each other."

"Well, you know a lot more about me now. I knew you were inexperienced, but a _virgin_!" _Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

"Hell, Ana, I just showed you . . . May God forgive me. Have you ever been kissed, apart from by me?" I can feel my temper rising to new heights.

"Of course I have."

"And a nice young man hasn't swept you off your feet? I just don't understand. You're twenty-one, nearly twenty-two. You're beautiful."

I seriously need to get my head together and figure out what to do, and fast. I don't want her to go, but I can't take her into my playroom when she's never had sex before. She needs to know what the fuck she is getting into.

But suddenly the idea of me being the first man to have her seems amazing. No other man has ever touched her like that. I just don't understand why she is sitting here, seriously discussing a BDSM relationship when she's a virgin.

Then it dawns on me; she asked me earlier if I was going to make love to her tonight. She came here in the belief that I was going to take her virginity in a nice normal way. Hearts and flowers, even though I told her I don't do hearts and flowers.

She's actually prepared for this and thought that's how this night was going to end. I may be a kinky bastard, but I do know that losing your virginity is a big deal for girls and since Anastasia is nearly twenty-two and hasn't had sex yet, I'm guessing it's a pretty big deal to her too. She's actually decided, for some reason, that she wants to share this experience with me. Since I really don't want her to leave and I like her company, maybe I could do this. I've never done anything like this before, and I'm not really sure how to handle this. But I'm pretty much decided on this, I need to make love to her, so she has some sort of idea about what she is getting herself into. _You don't make love, do you, Grey! Going all hearts and flowers now!_

"And you're seriously discussing what I want to do, when you have no experience. How have you avoided sex? Tell me, please."

"No one's really, you know . . ." Her voice trails off; I think she's trying to tell me she's never been attracted to anyone. Only me.

"Why are you so angry with me?" She asks me quietly. I really need to get a grip on my temper and calm down so we can figure out what to do. I actually really want her to stay and to spend the night with her.

"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with myself. I just assumed . . ." I just don't know.

"Do you want to go?" _Please no, please stay with me. _

"No, unless you want me to go." Phew, she doesn't want to leave and now I know what I should do.

"Of course not. I like having you here." I really like having her here.

"It's late" I look at my watch and wonder to myself how to do this. I turn to look at Anastasia to try to grasp how she is felling and I see she's biting her lip. My cock twitches in response as it always does. _Shit, I really want her. _

"You're biting your lip."

"Sorry."

"Don't apologize. It's just that I want to bite it too, hard." I'm getting more and more turned on by the thought of having sex with Anastasia, that I can hardly contain myself anymore. She gasps and looks at me wide-eyed, flushed and with a sexy look in her eye. I decide we need to do this now.

"Come"

"What?"

"We're going to rectify the situation right now."

"What do you mean? What situation?"

"Your situation, Ana. I'm going to make love to you, now."

"Oh."

"That's if you want to, I mean, I don't want to push my luck." _Please say yes to this, baby. I want to feel you, I want to be inside you._

"I thought you didn't make love. I thought you fucked hard." _Oh, baby, you're saying yes._

"I can make an exception, or maybe combine the two, we'll see. I really want to make love to you. Please, come to bed with me. I want our arrangement to work, but you really need to have some idea what you're getting yourself into. We can start your training tonight-with the basics. This doesn't mean I've come over all hearts and flowers; it's a means to an end, but one that I want, and hopefully you do, too."

"But I haven't done all the things you require from your list of rules" _Oh, baby, that really doesn't matter right now._

"Forget about the rules. Forget about all those details for tonight. I want you. I've wanted you since you fell into my office, and I know you want me. You wouldn't be sitting here calmly discussing punishment and hard limits if you didn't. Please, Ana, spend the night with me."

I hold out my hand to her and she puts her lovely hand in mine. I pull her up against me and enjoy the feeling of her against me and the thought of her naked body against me in a very short while get's me really excited.

"You are one brave young woman. I am in awe of you." It's the truth; I am amazed that she's actually agreed to this when she is so innocent. She's fantastic. Now she's biting her lip again.

"I want to bite this lip." I gently tug at her lip with my teeth and she moans; I like that response.

"Please, Ana, let me make love to you."

"Yes." She whispers her response and looks expectantly at me and I smile at her. I release her and lead her to my bedroom. I've never had a sub in my bedroom before; I've never had sex in my bedroom. But I just don't feel that it would be right for me to take Anastasia to the playroom to take her virginity. She deserves it to be as comfortable and memorable as possible. And she deserves it to be normal. So for the first time in my life I'm going to have vanilla sex.

Elena has always told me that vanilla sex will not be enough to satisfy me, but it will have to be enough tonight, because I'm doing this for Anastasia. Suddenly it is very important to me that Anastasia is comfortable and that this is going to be a good experience for her. As I lead her to my bedroom I can feel her hand shaking in mine and I can tell that she is really nervous. I need to use all my best seduction skills to get her to feel comfortable.

When we get to the bedroom I can hear her breathing is shallow and I can feel her eyes bore into me as I move to the chest of drawers to take off my watch. I ask her whether she is on the pill and she blushes furiously, luckily I always keep a pack of condoms in my drawer. You never know when you'll need them. _Or when Elliott will need some. _

Since this is Anastasia's first time I feel I need to talk to her, make her feel comfortable and confident. I can't just go ahead and rip her clothes off and fuck her. I need to do this slow and sweet talk her. _So you are going all hearts and flowers, Grey. Watch it! You just wanted a sub, remember?_

"Do you have any idea how much I want you, Ana Steele?" I gently run my fingers down her cheek and look her deep in the eyes.

"Do you have any idea what I'm going to do to you?"

I lean down and kiss her and start unbuttoning her shirt. She's amazing, she smells incredible. I can't wait to be inside her. Right now I'm so turned on that my cock is starting to hurt from straining against my pants and my whole body is so attuned to Anastasia that I hardly know what to do with myself. I just want to throw her on the bed and fuck her, but I need to restrain myself, luckily I've learned that during my years with Elena.

I peel of her shirt and let it fall to the floor and stand back to gaze at Anastasia; she's so beautiful.

"Oh, Ana. You have the most beautiful skin, pale and flawless. I want to kiss every inch of it."

I pull out her hair tie and her brown hair cascades around her shoulders, she looks amazing. I like brunettes.

I hold her close to me and kiss her fervently and need to feel her against me and my cock is in need of some contact with her. She moans into my mouth and tentatively strokes her tongue against mine. I press my very hard erection into her and she moans even more and reaches up to my arms while we are still kissing. It's the first time I've ever kissed someone without restraining their hands first,_ except when I was with Elena of course,_ but I find I like her hands on me, as long as they don't come near my chest or back that is. She reaches up and touches my face; her touch is so loving and light, this really confuses me. I like her touch, but normally I would move away if someone tried to touch me. But there's so much feeling in her touch and when she moves her hands into my hair and gently tug to deepen our kiss I can't help but groan. This feels so different to anything I've ever done before, I'm even more turned on than I usually would be and there's so much more to this kiss than I've ever had with my subs. When I've kissed my subs, it's always been part of the seduction, but this kiss with Anastasia send tingles down my spine. _What the fuck is going on here. I've never tried anything like it before. Why is it this way?_

I gently push her towards the bed and then drop to my knees so I can undo her jeans, but first I need to kiss her amazing skin. I kiss her across her belly and enjoy the feel of her soft skin against my lips. I slowly undo first the button, then the zipper on her jeans and push them down her legs touching her behind and legs as I slide them down. I smell her at the apex of her thighs, she smells so fucking good; she smells like woman and sex, I can tell that she is really turned on which makes me want her even more. I push her down on the bed so I can take of her shoes and socks and her jeans. I run my thumb across her instep and then my tongue; I want to make sure that she is really ready for me. She's panting, gasping and groaning and it is a really big turn on that she really wants me.

"Oh, Ana, what I could do to you." I take of the rest of her clothes and she's just lying on my bed in her bra and panties – wow she's so beautiful.

"You're very beautiful, Anastasia Steele. I can't wait to be inside you."

I want her to pleasure herself before we make love, I love watching my subs pleasure themselves.

"Show me how you pleasure yourself."

She frowns and looks questioningly at me. _She can't seriously be that shy now._

"Don't be coy, Ana, show me."

"I don't know what you mean."

"How do you make yourself come? I want to see."

"I don't." _What the fuck – she's never even had an orgasm? This is just too good to be true. _Suddenly I realise that since she's a virgin and has never even had an orgasm I get to be the one to get all her pleasure and then she's really mine. The thought pleases me immensely.

"Well, we'll have to see what we can do about that."

I take my pants of and crawl on the bed and spread her legs kissing my way up her legs. She can't keep still, she's wriggling and squirming. I really like that she's so responsive and she's reacting to my every touch.

"We're going to have to work on keeping you still, baby."

I'm kissing my way up her body and finally reach her breasts and cup them, they fit me perfectly. Everything about Anastasia is just made for me. At this point, Anastasia is clawing the sheets and as I play with her nipples, I decide I want to make her come this way- I'm pretty sure I can because she is so responsive.

"Let's see if I can make you come like this."

She can hardly lie still on the bed as I continue to play with her nipples.

"Oh . . . please." She groans loudly and her legs stiffen, she's about to come but I'm guessing she has no idea what just hit her.

"Let go, baby." I bite her nipple and pull the other with my fingers and Anastasia is shaking and shattering next to me. I kiss her to claim her cries, to claim her as mine. She looks a bit awestruck, like she's thanking me for this. I can't help but smile in triumph, I love that she's so responsive.

"You are very responsive. You're going to have to learn to control that, and it's going to be so much fun teaching you how."

I have to feel her, I need to know how wet she is, if she's ready for me. I can hardly wait any longer to fuck her, but I slip my fingers inside her panties. _Fuck she's so wet and ready._

"You're so deliciously wet. God, I want you."

I finger fuck her to make her even more wanting than she already is, but now I cannot wait anymore, I really need to fuck her. I take her panties of and my boxers and grab the foil packet ready on the side table. When I look at Ana, she is staring wide-eyed at my rock hard erection. I know I'm well above average length and since she's never done this before, I need to reassure her that it's going to be okay.

"Don't worry, you expand too."

I lean down and look into her eyes and decide that I need to make sure that she wants this.

"You really want to do this?"

"Please."

"Pull your knees up." She does quickly and looks at me with anticipation.

"I'm going to fuck you now, Miss Steele. Hard."

I think it's best to do it quick, I know it hurts a bit for most women, so why prolong the agony. I slam into her and she cries out. _Fuck, she feels sooo fucking good, she's so tight. _I've never experienced anything like this before; none of my subs have ever been this tight. The feeling is amazing.

"You're so tight. You okay?" She nods, wide-eyed; she has her hands on my arms. This is the first time I've ever had vanilla sex and the first time the woman isn't restrained in some way.

"I'm going to move, baby." I slowly ease out of her and thrust into her again. I groan out load, because the feeling is absolutely exquisite. I don't know what it is, if it's because she's a virgin, if it's because it's vanilla or something else, but it feels very different from when I fuck in the playroom. It's so much better.

She cries out and I'm not really sure if it's good or bad.

"More?"

"Yes." So I do it again and enjoy feeling her tightness around me. I can feel myself coming closer to the edge, but luckily I've learned to control that.

"Again?"

"Yes." Now she's practically begging me, so I figure I don't need to ask anymore. I shift onto my elbows so I can hold her down and kiss her. I start moving slowly, but as Anastasia gets accustomed to the feeling of me inside her, she starts to move with me and I pick up the pace. We are both moaning and groaning, enjoying each other. As I pound on I can feel her quiver and stiffen and I know she's close.

"Come for me, Ana."

And she does, spectacularly. I come when I feel her convulse around my length and the feeling is extraordinary, I actually see stars. _Fuck that was amazing, Anastasia is amazing._

I have never ever experienced sex like this, and I cannot fathom what it is that makes the difference. I have all these weird, what's the word, feelings – no that's not right. It just felt so . . . different. I think I need a session with Dr. Flynn very soon; I need him to explain to me what the fuck is going on here.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Mine. She is mine.  
I get this sudden feeling of proprietorship-of possessiveness. I've been the first to have all her pleasure. I've been her first and I'll be her last. _Don't get ahead of yourself, Grey. She's just going to be your sub, remember. She's going to leave at some point.__  
_I pull out of her and she winces.  
"Did I hurt you?"  
She raises her eyebrows at me.  
"The irony is not lost on me. Seriously, are you okay?"  
She looks at me in awe and smiles like she doesn't know what to say, and stretches out on the bed. Then she bites her lip. _Oh, that lip. Now I can really attest to how delicious it is. _  
"You're biting your lip, and you haven't answered me?"  
"I'd like to do that again" _Thank fuck - and do it again we will Miss Steele. I have not had enough of you yet. __  
_"Would you now, Miss Steele? Demanding little thing, aren't you? Turn on your front"

She blinks at me and then turns around. _Oh, that beautiful skin and that ass. I am going to claim that as well, some day. _

"You really have the most beautiful skin." I feel I still need to reassure her and talk some sweet words to her, even though she did just tell me that she wants to do it again. I lie across her and kiss her neck and can feel myself harden again. She really is the most extraordinary amazing girl.

"Why are you wearing your shirt?" she asks me, I don't want to tell her that I don't like to be touched and even less why I don't like it. I take my shirt of, because now she can't touch me, while she is on her front. I still feel a little uneasy that she is not restrained and I'm naked next to her. She moans slightly when I lie back down without my shirt on and her breathing accelerates as I kiss her on her neck.

"So you want me to fuck you again?" I continue to kiss her neck while my hand explores her back, waist and over her hip and down her legs. I push her knee up so I can position myself behind her; I know this position will allow me to go deeper and she will feel all of me. I love fucking from behind, partly because the sub can't touch me and I love the deep feeling.

"I'm going to take you from behind, Anastasia."

I explore her body a little more before I move my hand up to her hair and pull it together in my hand and pull a little. It's time to show her that I have the power over her, first lesson in the Dom/sub relationship.

"You are mine. Only mine. Don't forget it." I start massaging her clitoris and kissing her lightly and nuzzle her behind her ear, I love that spot; so soft and I can smell her intoxicating scent. Reflexively Anastasia starts moving her hips in time with my massaging.

"Keep still" I say, I need her to absorb all the pleasure. Yet another demonstration of the Dom/sub relationship, I decide what she is allowed to do and not do. Slowly I put my thumb inside her and rotate it to the front wall of her vagina whilst massaging her clitoris; her breath hitches and her heart is pounding against her chest and I can feel her slightly clenching around me. She's moaning slightly trying to absorb all the pleasure I give her.

"You like this?" She moans a little more and I take that as I positive answer. She is so incredibly wet again already, it's almost too much for me to handle, I really need to fuck her.

"You're so wet, so quickly. So responsive. Oh, Anastasia, I like that. I like that a lot." I decide she should taste herself, so I move so I can press my thumb into her mouth.

"See how you taste. Suck me, baby." As I say it her mouth closes around my finger and I have to keep myself from groaning out loud. I start imagining her sucking my cock, her tongue working over my finger. My cock immediately gets harder and I try really hard not to get carried away with this, I need to take my time with my sweet Ana, and let her get used to this.

"I want to fuck your mouth, Anastasia, and I will soon." She moans and bites my finger. _Fuck, she's so naughty. _I pull her hair in warning.

"Naughty, sweet girl." I really need to fuck her now so I get another foil packet ready. _I hate these fuckers. _

"Stay still, don't move." I release her hair to sheath up so I'm ready to take her. I lean down and use my weight to press her into the mattress and grab her hair again.

"We're going to go real slow this time, Anastasia."

I don't really know why, but I really want to take it slow, to savour the feel of Anastasia around me. Normally I fuck hard, very hard, in this position. But this time I need it slow.

I slowly ease into her, feeling her stretching around me. _Oh. My. Fucking. God. This feels so ... I don't know... Amazing..._

Anastasia is groaning loudly and I deliberately circle my hips so she can feel all of me and then slowly pull out of her and then back in.

I can't explain this, but I've never experienced sex being like this before, so satisfactory. And it's only vanilla. _What the fuck!_

"You feel so good." She starts quivering at my words and I stop, I don't want her to come yet.

"Oh no, baby, not yet." I wait a little for the quivering to cease and then slowly ease into her again.

"Oh, please." She is begging me now, but I don't want her to come yet. The way I'm feeling right now I want her to be sore tomorrow, so she remembers where I've been and only me. There will never be anyone but me and she needs to remember that. _So what Grey, how are you going to manage that since you don't do hearts and flowers?_

"What do you want, Anastasia. Tell me?" She doesn't answer me as I continue in the slow leisurely pace.

"Tell me."

"You, please." _Fuck, that sounds so sexy._

I pick up the rhythm a little and I can feel my breathing becoming harsh and her insides quickening around me. _Oh, fuck. This is SO good._

"You. Are. So. Sweet. I. Want. You. So. Much."

"You. Are. Mine. Come for me, baby."

And she does, calling out my name. _Fuck, that is so, so sexy when she does that. _I come after two sharp thrusts and still, pouring my very being into Anastasia.

"Fuck, Ana." I pull out of her immediately and roll over to my own side of the bed. I'm afraid of the feelings that are roaring in me right now. I look over at Anastasia, she has pulled up her legs and has fallen asleep. _My beautiful girl._

I feel extremely possessive of Anastasia, and also very protective. I fervently want her to sign the contract so I can take care of her.

I'm so confused right now; I lie on my side looking at Anastasia who is sleeping peacefully, her lips slightly parted and her breathing steady. I don't ever want to let her go. Even though I don't sleep with my subs, I like having her here in my bed, listening to her breathe and watching her.

I get up to throw out the condoms and clean myself, on the way to the bathroom I grab my PJ pants. I can't really sleep right now, so I walk to my study and check a few emails.

When I walk into my study I see the paper with the rules, lying discarded on my desk. I pick it up and read it through, although of course I know what it says. But I need to do something to get Anastasia to agree to all of this. I don't want to let her go, but I know this is a lot to take in, especially since she came here expecting hearts and flowers or at least not something as kinky and dark as what I've introduced her to. But I just can't ease up on any of these rules, this is how it's supposed to be. _What the fuck do I do?_

I've conceded so many of my rules when it comes to Anastasia, and I just don't know what is making me do it. I really, really want her, but surely I should be able to keep my rules. _Well control freak that you are, Grey, you've really fucked up this time._

I sit in my chair looking out over Seattle trying to figure out what to do. It makes everything more complicated that Elliot knows who Anastasia is, I'm pretty sure he's going to say something to our mom, so I need to prepare myself for a phone call from her over the weekend. And I really need to make an appointment with Flynn, I need his advice on how to handle this whole situation.

Now that I've spent the night with Anastasia, she's going to need some personal security. Someone might spot her when I drive her home and follow us to her apartment, which will be really bad. Not that I really care about someone spotting me with her, I'd be proud to be seen with her in public. But for her own safety, so no crazy fucker tries to hurt her because she's been with me. That comes with being famous, security around the clock. That's why I have Taylor with me almost all the time, he insists on protecting me 24/7.

I decide to email Taylor and Welch and ask them to arrange for a covert protection officer for Anastasia, I'm pretty sure she'll never go along with having someone trailing behind her all the time. But if she's going to be my sub I need to have some protection for her and I need to know where she is at all times. _Control freak back again, Grey?_

I sit in my study for a while taking care of some things, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate properly, Anastasia is on my mind and I feel so confused and a little sad even. I don't ever want to let her go, but I know it's a very dark path I'm leading her down. _What the fuck should I do?_

I can feel that going back to bed will not be an option, I can't sleep so I decide to sit a while at the piano and play. This usually soothes and calms me, but I can't quite find that peace tonight. I think about the beautiful sweet Ana in my bed and feel so wrong for wanting her to be my sub when she's so inexperienced, but I don't want to let her go either. I enjoy her company more than I've ever enjoyed being with someone else. Usually I don't care for such a smart mouth, but she's just so perfect.

Maybe if I could just introduce it to her slowly and convince her that she's a good sub, then maybe she'll agree to it. _Oh, god, this is so difficult. _

I also need to figure out what the fuck to tell Elliot and probably my mom too. But that will have to wait until tomorrow when I know more about how Anastasia feels about this arrangement. She could still run and I didn't get a chance to ask her how she felt about tonight, because she just fell asleep right away.

It was a very different way of fucking. I've never had vanilla sex before and I wonder why Elena never thought that would be enough for me; it was fantastic. But Elena always taught it to me very rough, I don't want to introduce it to Anastasia like that. I need to take it slow and seduce her with all my toys. But first I must continue the basic training, she'll probably be sore tomorrow so I should stick to oral skills I think.

I play for a little while and suddenly I can feel Anastasia in the room, she's looking at me playing. _Wow, how can it be that I can feel her near me, when I haven't even seen or heard her yet?_

She gasps for some reason and I look up at her, God she's beautiful with the duvet wrapped around her all mussed up.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you."

"Surely, I should be saying that to you." She should be sleeping and resting after last night.

I don't really know what to do with myself, I've never been in this situation before. She's obviously expecting me to do something, I just don't know what it is, but I guess I should get her back to bed.

As she stands there looking at me, I get a fleeting feeling of regret for her; that I'm not a normal man who would just get up and kiss her and wrap her in my embrace.

I'm a little wary because I'm not wearing a t-shirt, so she might try to touch me but I really should get her to bed. I get up and walk towards her.

"You should be in bed."

"That was a beautiful piece. Bach?"

"Transcription by Bach, but it's originally an oboe concerto by Alessandro Marcello."

"It was exquisite, but very sad, such a melancholy melody" _Oh, you have no idea, baby. I always play such music. _

"Bed." I don't really want to talk about the music, but it pleases me that she likes it so much.

"You'll be exhausted in the morning."

"I woke and you weren't there." She sounds a little sad saying this.

"I find it difficult to sleep, and I'm not used to sleeping with anyone."

She asks me about my piano skills while I drape my arm around her and lead her back to the bedroom.

Now that she's awake I might as well question her a little, to figure out whether she's on the verge of running.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm good." That wasn't very informative, but at least she didn't hesitate with the answer so I believe that she is actually okay. I've turned on the light and we glance at the bed at the same time noticing the blood – the proof of Anastasia's lost virginity. I get a sudden feeling of triumph, that I've been the one to take her virginity. She seems embarrassed by this as she blushes and looks down, I'd like to know what she is thinking so I grab her chin a lift her head. But as I do this she reaches out to touch my chest and I instinctively step back, I can't bear her to touch me.

"Get into bed." I say a little too sharply and she looks devastated, so to soften the blow a little I say

"I'll come and lie down with you." I take out a t-shirt to wear just in case she instinctively reaches out in her sleep. I get into bed with Anastasia and lie behind her so we are spooning. I enjoy the feel of Anastasia in my arms, she smells wonderful and I feel myself calming and thinking that everything is going to be okay.

When I wake the next morning, I'm surprised that I've slept so well – again! Anastasia just calms me, I feel rested and comfortable in my bed. That's until I realize that Anastasia is not in my bed and I start to panic. _Shit, she's run away from me. _I feel despair flow over me, but then I hear clattering and – is that singing – from the kitchen, this I have to see. _Phew, thank fucking God, she hasn't left. _

When I make my way to the kitchen I wonder at the fact that I've actually slept through the morning, I haven't heard Anastasia get up. I never thought I'd see the day.

When I reach the main room I stop in my tracks, Anastasia is dancing through my kitchen in nothing but my white shirt from yesterday and her hair in pigtails, she looks absolutely amazing. I love the fact that she's gotten up on her own and just started cooking breakfast for us, usually my subs cook during the weekend and Mrs. Jones has the weekend off.

I walk over to the breakfast bar and sit down and just observe her. If I'm not mistaken she's singing Amy Studt's song "Misfit" – is that really how she feels? That amazingly beautiful girl, I find it hard to believe that she would see herself as a misfit. I make a mental note of remembering to dig a little further into that, to try to figure out how she feels about herself. While she's whisking the eggs she turns around and sees me and completely forgets to whisk the eggs and freezes. She then manages to take the ear buds out and is still just looking at me wide eyed.

"Good morning, Miss Steele. You're very energetic this morning."

"I-I slept well."

"I can't imagine why. So did I after I came back to bed." This is still odd to me, that I can apparently sleep without nightmares when Anastasia is in my bed. Yet another thing I need to discuss with Flynn – why is it like that?

She asks me where I keep my placemats, so I set about finding them and start setting the breakfast bar for the lovely smelling food Anastasia is preparing.

I feel a need to be close to my sweet girl so I go over to her and pull gently on her pigtails and tell her that they won't keep her safe.

I take out the English Breakfast Tea that I asked Mrs. Jones to buy, remembering that it's Anastasia's favourite tea.

"Bit of a foregone conclusion, wasn't I?"

"Are you? I'm not sure we've concluded anything yet, Miss Steele."

I sit by the breakfast bar waiting for Anastasia to join me. When she sits down she winces. _Yes, she's remembering where I've been and ONLY me. _

"Just how sore are you?"

"Well, to be truthful, I have nothing to compare this to. Did you wish to offer your commiserations?"

"No. I wondered if we should continue your basic training."

"Oh." She looks at me surprised and completely forgets to breathe.

"Eat, Anastasia. This is delicious, incidentally." She tentatively eats something, I guess I must have surprised her with my statement. She's biting her lip and rubbing her thighs together, so I know she wants me again, which is turning me on so now my cock is hard and I can't stop imagining her naked.

"Stop biting your lip. It's very distracting, and I happen to know you're not wearing anything under my shirt, which makes it even more distracting."

"What sort of basic training did you have in mind?" Her voice is slightly too high and she's blushing furiously, but trying to look as unaffected as possible.

"Well, as you're sore, I thought we could stick to oral skills."

Anastasia stares at me with her eyes wide and chokes on her tea. _Oh yes, just the reaction I was going for._

As I say these words I imagine Anastasia next to me, naked and slowly reaching down to my erection and closing her mouth over me.

_Oh, yes!_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

I pat Anastasia gently on the back and hand her the orange juice, trying very hard to rid myself of the erotic images in my mind.

I don't know how or why, but I want Anastasia all the time. There's this electrical current between us again and I really feel like fucking her again, right here on the kitchen floor.

But since we didn't really get a chance to talk yesterday I feel I should make sure that she actually wants to stay. I really hope she'll stay until tomorrow, I really like having her here with me. _What the fuck is going on, why am I so intent on having her here. She's just supposed to be my sub for fucks sake._

Unfortunately she tells me that she want to go home tonight, which I really don't understand. She says she'll need clean clothes, but we can just buy that here for fucks sake. I don't get it. I guess I'll just drive her home this afternoon and then I could stay in Portland till the graduation ceremony is finished and then hope that Anastasia will have agreed to be my sub then. I really don't feel like going back to Seattle after driving her home, I can't imagine being that far away from her. I'm really glad that she's moving to Seattle next weekend. Hopefully I can have a little fun with her next weekend when she's moved here.

I fervently try to get her to eat something, but she's very reluctant to actually eat anything, which pisses me of. In turn she asks me what it is with me and food, and I'm so not going there. I'm not intending on telling her anything about myself. Well, favourite music and stuff like that is fine, but nothing about my childhood with the crack whore or anything like that. Finally she manages to eat something and I relax a little more. I sit and wait for her to finish and imagine all the things I want to do before I drive her home later, but even though my imagination is running wild, I know I should take it slow and just continue with the basic training I had in mind – oral skills.

"You cooked, I'll clear." This is not my usual style and I honestly don't know what made me do it. There's just something about Anastasia that makes me do things I would have never done otherwise.

"That's very democratic."

"Yes. Not my usual style. After I've done this, we'll take a bath."

"Oh, okay." Anastasia looks both surprised and turned on when I say this, because she knows that the basic training will continue. I can feel myself harden just at the thought.

We are dragged out of our erotic thoughts when her phone rings. _It better not be the photographer fucker._

She answers her phone and walks over to the glass wall. I can't make out who she's talking to and I can feel my temper rising, but when I hear her say "Kate" I relax a little. Miss Kavanagh is obviously trying to drag out information about our night, but to my satisfaction, Anastasia is not saying anything. She's obviously taking the NDA seriously. But when she finishes her call with the apparently still tenacious Miss Kavanagh, she looks at me a little wary.

"The NDA, does it cover everything?"

"Why?"

"Well, I have a few questions, you know, about sex. And I'd like to ask Kate." _Oh no you don't baby, I'll answer your questions._

"You can ask me."

"Christian, with all due respect…" _What baby, trust me I know A LOT about sex._

"It's just about mechanics. I won't mention the Red Room of Pain." _What the fuck! This does not bode well for my chances of getting Anastasia to sign the contract to be my sub if that's her name for my playroom._

"Red Room of Pain? It's mostly about pleasure, Anastasia. Believe me. Besides, your roommate is making the beast with two backs with my brother. I'd really rather you didn't."

"Does your family know about your . . . um, predilection?" _Hell no, they'll never know that I'm that fucked up._

"No. It's none of their business."

I walk over to Anastasia, I really want to be close to her. And I need to get her to ask me whatever questions she may have about sex, I don't want her talking to anyone else about me.

"What do you want to know?" I tilt her head up so I can look her directly in the eye, this way I'll know if she's lying. I gently caress her cheek.

"Nothing specific at the moment."

"Well, we can start with: How was last night for you?" I'm really anxious to know this, if it was not what she'd hoped for then I don't have a hope in hell and since she doesn't want to stay till tomorrow, I'm nervous.

"Good." _Oh, thank god._

"Me, too. I've never had vanilla sex before. There's a lot to be said for it. But then, maybe it's because it's with you." I feel I need to be honest with her, it really was something special with her. I'm not sure it would have been like that with anyone else.

"Come, let's have a bath." I kiss my sweet Anastasia with anticipation for what's to come next.

We walk to my bathroom and on the way I get some very vivid pictures of Anastasia in my bath, fucking her in the warm water. I go into the bathroom and turn on the faucet and pour some bath oil into the water, Anastasia is standing by the door with her arms wrapped protectively around herself. I motion for her to come over to me and step in the warm water, I ask her to turn around once she's in the bathtub.

"I know that lip is delicious, I can attest to that, but will you stop biting it? Your chewing it makes me want to fuck you, and you're sore, okay?"

She gasps and frees her lip, finally!

"Yeah. Get the picture?" I find it really hard to contain myself when she does that, she looks so damned sexy.

I take her iPod out of the pocket of my shirt and take the shirt of her, so she's standing naked before me. She's an amazingly beautiful woman, but she lowers her head and stares intently at her hands, flushing.

I feel bad when she does this, she really shouldn't be embarrassed, she's very beautiful. But I guess she really doesn't see herself that way, which I sort of guessed when she was singing in my kitchen earlier.

"Hey, Anastasia, you're a very beautiful woman, the whole package. Don't hang your head like you're ashamed. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and it's a real joy to stand here and gaze at you." I reach out and tilt her head up so she can see my lust for her, in my eyes, so she knows that I'm not lying. She sits down in the warm water and leans back and closes her eyes.

I was intending to wash her while sitting next to the bathtub, but then she surprises me, as only she can.

"Why don't you join me?" I'm a little wary because I'd be naked, but if I sit behind her, then she won't be able to touch me, so I think that will be okay.

"I think I will. Move forward."

As I slip in behind her I can feel her soft skin and smell her lovely scent mixed with the bath oil. Her proximity is intoxicating, she's completely bewitched me. _What the fuck is she doing to me, I don't want to let her go._

I place my legs over hers, so she's not able to move and pull my feet apart so her legs spread too. I enjoy the feel of her skin flush against mine and even though we're not in the playroom or using any form of restraining device, I am still in complete control and have her pinned to the side of the tub so she can't move. Yet again I'm showing her that I'm her Dom, well at least that I want to be her Dom.

I take some body wash and rub my hands together to create lather and start rubbing it into Anastasia's shoulders, she groans loudly and I continue down her arms, to her underarms. Then I slide my hands to her breasts and start kneading them gently, they feel so good and I can feel myself harden. I don't linger too long and slide my hands down her stomach towards her sex. Anastasia's breathing is becoming more rapid and her body more spent, the closer I get to her sex.

I grab a wash cloth and squirt some body wash on it and start gently washing her sex and rubbing her clitoris through the wash cloth. Her hips start to move along with my rhythm, she's pressing against my legs, her body going rigid. She tilts her head back, groaning loudly, her breathing rapid and I can feel the tingles on her skin.

"Feel it, baby" I keep gently pressuring her clitoris and feel her excitement as I continue to nipple her earlobe.

"Oh . . . please." She pleads with me to continue, but I don't want to make her come yet, I have other plans for that later.

"I think you're clean enough now."

"Why are you stopping?"

"Because I have other plans for you, Anastasia."

"Turn around. I need washing, too." As she moves forward to turn around I grasp my now very hard erection and start running my hand lightly up and down my considerable length, I can hardly wait for Anastasia to turn around and get really acquainted with my most cherished part of myself. Yesterday before we fucked, she looked wide eyed at the length of me, but now I want to feel her hands around me.

"I want you to become well acquainted, on first name terms if you will, with my favourite and most cherished part of my body. I'm very attached to this."

As Anastasia is just staring at my erection I harden even further and enjoy the look on incredulity on her face, like she can't quite believe her own eyes. I can't help but smile at her, she's so inexperienced but apparently very willing to learn, because she reaches for the body wash and squirts some into her hand and create some lather. As she is doing this she bites her lower lip and then traces her tongue over it, I can see the sexiness in her eyes and her lust; she wants me just as bad as I want her. She reaches over and closes her hand around my erection. _Fuck that feels so good._

She squeezes a little and I close my hand around hers to show her how to play with me. I close my eyes and revel in the feeling of her hand around me, I can feel her inexperience and her curiosity. My breath hitches in my throat as she continues to explore me. As I acknowledge that she is doing it right I let go of her hand and close my eyes to enjoy her exploring. _Fuck this is good, how can I ever let go of that._

As she continues I can feel the build up and groan loudly and my breathing becoming rapid. _Oh, yes, baby, more of that._

Suddenly she releases her hand and before I can even react to that I feel her lip around the tip of my erection sucking and running her tongue over the tip. _Fuuuuuck!_

"Whoa . . . Ana." I open my eyes to look at her and she looks as sexy as ever, she has her mouth around me and looking up at me through her lashes. I would never normally let a woman take control like that, but as she's learning and she willingly started this, I let her continue and surprisingly she's really good at it. _I fucking hope she hasn't done this before to some other fucker._

"Christ." I murmur and close my eyes again. As she continues her sucking, I come closer and closer to the edge, but hold back because I really love the feeling of this right now. As she goes further down I flex my hips so she can feel all of me, but she doesn't seem to have a gag reflex because she just keeps going.

I reach out to her pigtails on grab them and start fucking her mouth while she plays with her tongue on my tip.

"Oh . . . baby . . . that feels good." She just keeps going, deepthroating me several times.

"Jesus. How far can you go?"

She's doing this like her life depends on it and does it as if she's experienced, the thought nags me but I quickly forget that as she swirls her tongue around my tip. I'm building and I need to warn her, I'm sure she doesn't want me to come in her mouth.

"Anastasia, I'm going to come in your mouth. If you don't want me to, stop now." I can hardly get the words out through my clenched teeth. Anastasia continues relentlessly even harder and faster than before. _Fuuuck!_ I grip her hair tighter and thrust into her mouth. _Oh god, I'm so close. _

She bares her teeth and this pushes me over the edge, I cry out as I come in her mouth and she just swallows, a slight smile playing on her lips around me. _WOW, that was amazing, she never ceases to amaze me. This woman is amazing, I can never let her go. Never!_

She sits back and has a big smile plastered on her face. My breathing is through the roof and I'm seriously turned on by that, now I just want to fuck her even more than I did before. At the same time I have this feeling of not wanting to lose her, I want her to be mine and only mine.

"Don't you have a gag reflex?"

"Christ, Ana . . . that was . . . good, really good. Unexpected, though. You know, you never cease to amaze me." She smiles at me, and I'm getting a nagging feeling this wasn't her first time doing this.

"Have you done that before?"

"No." _Oh, thank fuck for that. She's mine and only mine. _

"Good. Yet another first Miss Steele."

"Well, you get an A in oral skills. Come, let's go to bed, I owe you an orgasm." This I am really looking forward to, giving my sweet girl another orgasm. It sounds amazing when she comes, especially when she screams my name.

I get out of the bath and Anastasia is looking at me with a salacious look, her eyes lingering on my tamed but still substantial erection. I grab a towel and wrap around my waist and grab a larger towel to wrap Anastasia in. I want her close after the wonderful bath experience we've just had, but I need to make sure she doesn't touch me, so I wrap her in the large towel. I pull her close and kiss her fervently and passionately. I've never wanted anything quite as much as I've wanted this, she is the most amazing woman I have ever in my life met and I can feel that she is something special, someone to be cherished. These feelings confuse me, because all I want is a sub, but I'm also convinced that if I convince Anastasia to do this she's going to want hearts and flowers, which I can't get her. _Oh this is all so fucking confusing. _

As I kiss her I can taste myself on her tongue, but I'd much rather have the taste of her in my mouth.

"Say yes." I need to get her to say yes before she leaves, the thought that when I drop her off this afternoon and she hasn't agreed yet is nagging me. Then I'll have no idea when I'll see her again, if she wants nothing more to do with me. _Oh this is so fucking difficult._

"To what?"

"Yes to our arrangement. To being mine. Please, Ana." I plead with her, not normally something I'd do, but this woman has me abandoning all my normal reason. I kiss her again just to emphasize my point and because I'm not really ready to hearing her say no, if she doesn't want to. I stand back to look at her, blinking slightly because this feels so different, not something I'm used to.

She frustratingly says nothing, but just looks lost in thought. I decide that I'd better continue with the orgasm I owe her and hopefully this will help convince her a little more. I'm going to make this most memorable for her, so much so that she doesn't want to leave, ever.

I lead her into the bedroom and as I walk over to the bed I improvise a little, I need her restrained so she won't touch me, but I don't want it to be too rough for her, so I think that one of my ties will be a good way to introduce it to Anastasia.

"Trust me?" She nods her accept, wide eyed again, but also excited I think.

"Good girl." I walk into my large walk-in closet, one of those that most women would kill to have, except my sweet Anastasia. I pick out my silver gray tie, I rather like this one and using it on Anastasia will mean that I have great memories every time I wear it. I walk back to Anastasia, who's looking excited and giving me a salacious look.

"Hold your hands together in front of you." I peel the towel off her and bind her wrists together firmly, but not too tight, just enough to keep her hands away from me. Her pulse is racing and her heart is pounding in her chest, we move towards the bed until her knees hit the edge of the bed and she looks expectantly at me.

"Oh, Anastasia, what shall I do to you." We lie down on the bed, me next to her and I take her arms and lay them over her head, instructing her to keep them there and she confirms that she won't move them. As I'm satisfied I lean down and kiss Anastasia and tell her that I'm going to kiss her all over. I kiss her throat, her neck, down to the small dip at the base of her neck. Her whole body is rigid with pleasure overload and her body bows of the bed. As I'm continuing this she lifts her hands and reaches to touch my hair rather awkwardly giving she's restrained. Even though I love having her hands in my hair, this is also a lesson in the Dom/sub relationship so she needs to know that it is not acceptable to do this. I tell her that she is not to move her hands or I will start all over again. As her hands are back above her head I continue to kiss and nipple my way across her intoxicating body, as I reach the line between her belly and her pubic hair, I move so I'm between her legs and bring her foot up to my mouth and start making my way up her leg, again kissing and nipping. Anastasia is experiencing sensation overload as I go up her legs, she groans and writhes beneath me and lies flat on the bed with her eyes closed.

I continue all the way up to her sex, running my nose through her pubic hair, smelling her arousal which in turn makes me very aroused and my erection is now rock hard and aching to feel the depths of her again. Normally I insist on my subs being rid of all body hair, but I kind of like this, so I tell her that maybe we'll keep it. I also tell her how amazing she smells and lightly blow on her clitoris.

"Oh . . . please." She begs me as she wants more. _Fuck I love it when she begs me. _

I start to slowly circle her clitoris with my tongue and enjoy the smell and taste of her arousal on me, so I continue a little more insistent and then slip a finger inside her. _Fuck, she so wet, just for me. Mine. _

"Oh, baby, I love that you're so wet for me."

I move my finger inside her searching for her g-spot and as I find it, Anastasia groans loudly and I can feel her quickening and her legs stiffening, so I increase the pace a little and finally she lets go, crying out her orgasm while she writhes beneath me. _Thank fuck. _

As she is coming down from her orgasm I take the foil packet from the night stand and rip it open and sheath up.

Very slowly, as I know that she is sore, I ease into to once again. _Fucking hell, this is amazing. How the hell can I have missed this, I've only know this part of her for less than 12 hours. _

I'm worried that it might be too much for her though, since she seemed really sore earlier.

"How's this?"

"Fine. Good." She manages to say between her rapid breaths.

I can no longer take the slow pace, I have to have her, so I start thrusting into her at a fast pace and I can soon feel her quickening again. I really want her, no; I really need her to come again. It's like this is the final evidence before she leaves, that she is mine, and only mine.

"Come for me, baby." And she does, gloriously and loudly. _Fuck yes, this is amazing._

"Thank fuck." I whisper and come with one more thrust into her.

I collapse on top of Anastasia, completely exhausted, bewitched and beguiled. _What the fuck is she doing to me?_

As I lie on top of her she lowers her arms and put them around my neck so she is hugging me. _Oh, the way this feels, I never want to leave, never want her to leave._

I lift myself up to rest my forehead on hers and look her in the eyes.

"See how good we are together? If you give yourself to me, it will be so much better. Trust me, Anastasia, I can take you places you don't even know exist." I feel this is the only way that I can make Anastasia understand, to plead with her to see how extremely good we are together. This has been some of the most amazing sex I have ever had, I really hope she can understand that. _How could she, Grey? You're not exactly telling her, are you?_

As she looks like she's going to answer me, we become aware of a commotion outside the bedroom door. _What the fuck could that be?_

"_But if he's still in bed, then he must be ill. He's never in bed at this time. Christian never sleeps in."_

"_Mrs. Grey, please."_

"_Taylor, you cannot keep me from my son"_

"_Mrs. Grey, he's not alone."_

"_What do you mean he's not alone?"_

"_He has someone with him."_

"_Oh..."_

_Shit, fuck, shit – it's my mother. Elliot that bastard, what did he tell her?_

Okay, quick decision, what the fuck do I do here. If I leave Anastasia here, my mom is going to think I'm hiding some sort of rent boy that I'm ashamed of and Anastasia will probably be hurt that I don't want to introduce her to my mother. So the only way to handle this is to introduce Anastasia to my mother . . . as my girlfriend.

As I think this, it actually dawns on me that I don't mind that at all, I'd be proud to introduce Anastasia to my mother, she's such a beautiful woman and not at all one to be ashamed of. And my mother will be very pleased that it's actually a girl I have here, my whole family believes that I'm gay.

I make a quick decision; that I'm going to introduce Anastasia to my mother . . . as my girlfriend.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

As I look at Anastasia's face, I see utter fear in her eyes.

"Shit, it's my mother." I utter as pull out of Anastasia and leave her lying on the bed. I pull off the condom and grab a pair of jeans and a shirt and quickly pull it on.  
I am decided on introducing Anastasia as my girlfriend to my mom, but I can't help wonder what Anastasia will say to this. At this point she knows that I don't really flaunt my subs to my family, but she already knows Elliot and now I'm about to introduce her to my mother.

She must think that I'm going all hearts and flowers on her. _Aren't you, Grey?_

Anastasia is worried because she does not have anything to wear here, so I tell her to just pick out whatever of my clothes she would like.

I tell Anastasia that I expect her to be in that room in 5 minutes, otherwise I'll come and drag her out to meet my mother in whatever she is wearing. As I walk into the main room and see the incredulous look on my mother's face I think to myself that I am actually really proud to be introducing Anastasia to my mother.

She is such a wonderful, beautiful, smart woman, how could I not be proud of her.

_Fuck, I really need to talk to Dr. Flynn. _

_"_Hello mother. What are you doing here?" I ask as I lean down to peck her on the cheek, which is our usual greeting. She knows my issues about touching too well, so she has never made an attempt to hug me.

"Hello darling. I just came by to see how you were. Elliot called to tell me that you were in town." Fucking Elliot, I knew it.

"Yes, well, I'm here for a bit yet. I'm going up to Portland to confer the degrees at the graduation ceremony at WSUV." As I say this I watch my mother glance surreptitiously at my bedroom door. I am enjoying this way too much to just tell her who is in my bedroom and she is too well mannered to actually ask me.

"Right, darling. You've been away a lot lately, haven't you?"

"Yes, I've had some travel and some business to take care of out of town. What did Elliot tell you when you talked to him?"

"Just a little brotherly love, he was just concerned about you because you've barely been home the last few weeks and haven't had time to call any of us. He was just concerned that you were stressed." _Yeah, right. Me stressed, the control freak who works 20 hours a day. Fucking Elliot._

"Well that's a little over the top, seeing as I work nearly 24 hours a day and have done that for the last 7 years."

"You know how he is darling." Again my mother looks over at my bedroom door, in the hopes that it will materialize into the someone I have in my bedroom. I cannot wait to see her facial expression when she sees Anastasia walking out of my bedroom door.

"Yes, that will be Elliot for you. But I'm fine, mom. Nothing to worry about."

"Oh, okay. That's good then." Even I can hear the disappointment in her voice, that I am not saying anything about who is in my bedroom. I enjoy the knowledge that I can actually introduce Anastasia with no made up stories about how we met or why she is here.

"Mom, I'm fine, there's nothing to worry about." _Where the fuck is Anastasia?_ I am on the verge of going in to get her, because she should fucking well be here right about now.

"I'm glad darling. I was…" My mom is interrupted by the bedroom door opening slowly and a very shy Anastasia making her way towards me. My mom is absolutely beaming and I can hear the audible gasp she makes when she sees the beautiful girl walking towards us.

"Here she is." I state rather proudly, because seeing my moms face like that, tells me that I am not wrong – Anastasia is special. As she walks over, I walk a little towards her and reach out for her hand in order to reassure her, as she seems rather nervous. I put my arm around her and introduce her to my mother.

"Mother, this is Anastasia Steele. Anastasia, this is Grace Trevelyan-Grey."

"What a pleasure to meet you." My mother murmurs, she almost sounds like she trying not to cry. There is wonder in her voice as she looks lovingly at Anastasia.

"Dr. Trevelyan-Grey." Anastasia acknowledges my mother. It pleases me that she remembers to call her Doctor, it shows good manners. The Dom in me is thrilled that she is already acting according the contract.

"Call me Grace." _What the fuck!_ My mom never asks anyone to call her by her first name unless she knows them very well, so this is quite a surprise. She must really like Anastasia. I rudely turn out their conversation lost in thought, shit this is going to be difficult to separate. _Why was it I thought this was a good idea, again?_

I desperately need to bring some sense into this again, I've gone soft after spending the weekend with Anastasia, but that just will not do. I have to bring back the Dom and sub relationship once my mom has left. Of course I am not going to show my mom this, she probably sees this as a budding romance, me standing with my arm around the sweetest young woman. _Fuck!_

I am pulled out of my thoughts by my mother's voice.

"So, how did you two meet?"

"Anastasia interviewed me for the student paper at WSU because I'm conferring the degrees there this week." I am suspecting that Anastasia has forgotten this by the look on her face.

"So you are graduating this week?" My mother kindly asks Anastasia, who seems a little overwhelmed at the whole "meeting the parents scenario".

"Yes."

We are interrupted by a ringing in the kitchen and Anastasia excuses herself. If follow her with my eyes as she walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone. When I hear the mention of the photographer fucker's name, I start fuming with rage. At least she is dismissing him, but I cannot have this, that fucker tried to get into her panties and he wants what is mine.

My mom keeps talking at me, but I do not respond to the stream of her words. I am wearing my impassive face, so she cannot see the rage burning in me, she probably thinks that I am in love. I feel the jealousy roar in me and I do not know how to handle it. The fact that she is talking so calmly to him angers me, why can she not see that he is a fucking dirt bag and not her friend.

She hangs up on the fucker and walks back to us. I study her face closely to figure out what she is thinking, but I have no fucking idea. I hate that she just took his call, I need to tell her that I do not share.

My mom makes to leave and we say our goodbyes and as she is saying goodbye to Anastasia she tells her that she hopes they meet again. Oh fuck this is going to take some adjusting, how the fuck will all this work out; my family knowing my subs. We will have to play happy families every once in a while. _Fuck._

Taylor takes my mother out and I turn to Anastasia.

"So the photographer called?"

"Yes."

"What did he want?"

"Just to apologize, you know – for Friday."

"I see." Fucker, he tries to get into her panties and when that does not succeed he apologizes and of course she forgives him and then he can walk around with a hard on from looking at what is mine – fucker.

Taylor re-enters letting me know that there is a problem with the Darfur shipment, I have completely abandoned my blackberry this morning. I have been too busy with the delectable Miss Steele, who is standing a little awkwardly looking in my direction, not really knowing what to do with herself.

As I read through my emails I see that I have an email from Elena, not really the person I want to be reminded of right now. She really is the complete opposite of Anastasia and I have a feeling that she will not approve of my little adventure with the delectable Miss Steele. She writes me that she has found someone who would make a good sub for me, which makes me think that I really could just go on with my usual style, have a nice experienced brunette sub. But even though all my usual steely resolve completely vanishes around Anastasia, I also know that since I have taken her virginity, I cannot bear the thought of anyone else having her and she brings something to my life that I did not think I could ever have – a little bit of light.

I call Ros to find out what the issue is and as we are talking I decide that I need to give the contract to Anastasia, then she can read it and we can get this going. She is standing in the middle of the room looking at me a little wary, nervous, a little scared even.

As I hang up with Ros , I walk past Anastasia to my study to get the contract.  
"This is the contract. Read it, and we'll discuss it next weekend. May I suggest you do some research, so you know what's involved." She looks at me wide eyed and then looks at the contract I just shoved in her hand and I realize that this is all still very new to her, so I will need to tell her that I actually really want this.

"That's if you agree, and I really hope that you do."

"Research?"

"You'll be amazed what you can find on the Internet." As I say this her facial expression changes and she looks embarrassed at a point in the air, lost in thought.

"What is it?"

"I don't have a computer. I usually use the computer at school. I'll see if I can use Kate's laptop." _For fucks sake, she doesn't even have a computer?_ I definitely do not want her to use Kate's computer for this sort of research.

"I'm sure I can . . . er, lend you one. Get your things, we'll drive back to Portland and grab some lunch on the way. I need to dress."

"I'll just make a call." She murmurs it, so I am not entirely sure she meant for me to hear it. I can feel the blood boil in my body, if she calls the photographer fucker, I think I will lose it.

"The photographer?"

"I don't like to share, Miss Steele. Remember that."

With that I walk into my bedroom and left her standing in the great room by herself. I feel I just need to cool down a bit and so I call Elliot to ask him what the fuck he is playing at, damned interfering nosy bastard of a big brother that he is.

"Hey, little bro. What's up?"

"What the fuck did you tell mom since she came running this morning?"

"Whoa, chill, will you? I just told her that I was worried about you because you haven't been home in a while and been stuck in Portland for a long time."

"That's bullshit, you must have said something to make her come running to my apartment this early."

"Yeah, well, I might have mentioned that I thought you were a bit ill because you hurried home yesterday."

"You're a fucking prick, you know that."

"Just chill little bro, why the fuck are you so mad?"

"Well I wasn't exactly planning on having my mother coming running in the middle of …." My voice trails off, fuck, I should not have said that. Elliot is such a nosy bastard. _Shit._

"Running in on what, Christian? Don't tell me that you were banging Anastasia when mom came over?" I remain silent not really knowing what the fuck to say to that. I know I should try and argue, but there is no point really. My mom will most likely tell the story as it is anyway.

"Seriously, Christian, you were having sex when mom came?"

"It's none of your fucking business, Elliot. But we were in the bedroom when she came, yes."

"Wow, Christian. This is even better than I imagined. None of us has ever seen you with a girl and when mom pops over, it's in the middle of sex. Well I hope you got something out of it, little bro. You know if you ever need any advice on techniques or anything you can always come to me, you know that right?"

"Fuck off, Elliot. I can manage very well on my own, thank you."

"I'm just saying, you're 27 and never done it before, you might be a bit behind."

"Oh will you just fuck off with that. You don't know anything."

"What are you saying, Christian?"

"It's none of your fucking business, Elliot. Just keep it low, okay?"

"Right. So is she your girlfriend now?" I'm floored by his question, I know I agreed with myself that I would introduce Anastasia as my girlfriend, but now, actually having to say it out loud, it is suddenly very difficult for me. What the fuck to say, I don't do hearts and flowers, how the fucking hell am I going to pretend to be doing just that.

"Christian …?"

"Yeah sorry. It's early days, Elliot. Let's just figure this out on our own, okay?"

"Sure little bro, but if you need anything, I'm here, okay?"

"Yeah, I know, Elliot. Thanks big bro."

"Sure thing. See ya."

I barely hang up from my chat with Elliot before my phone beeps with a text from Mia. _For fucks sake._ Should I be expecting a call from the grand parents too, this is just too much.

*You got a girlfriend? You have to tell me EVERYTHING. I'll call tonight.*

I am never going to hear the end of this, my family are going crazy over this. Why the fuck is it such a big deal. As I think the question the answer immediately materializes in my brain 'because they all think I am gay'.

Since Anastasia is waiting for me in the great room I should go to her. I have been packing while I was talking to Elliot to I am just about ready. When I reach the great room I see Anastasia standing by the windows looking out over Seattle. She looks amazing as she is standing there, looking at the scenery with awe.  
I actually find myself thinking that she would fit in here, it would be nice to have her around.

She senses me and turns around to look at me, she does not say anything, she just looks at me a little nervous but then smiles the most beautiful smile at me. The feeling I get at the pit of my stomach when she does that scares the shit out me, I feel like a whole butterfly farm has been let lose in my stomach. _What the fuck is that, why do I get that?_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

When I finally find my equilibrium again I manage to get my things together and make to leave with Anastasia.

As we stand and wait for the elevator I can feel Anastasia's eyes on me, she has not seen me dressed this casual before and I am guessing that she likes what she sees, because she is biting that damned delicious lip again and really checking me out. She has only seen me dressed in my hiking outfit when I went to Clayton's, but today I am wearing jeans, a tight t-shirt and a leather jacket and she looks like she is eating me with her eyes. Secretly I am pleased, that means that she is not totally oblivious to my charm and I really need her to sign that contract, so this is a good step in that direction.

Taylor is ready to greet us goodbye.  
"Tomorrow, then."

"Yes, sir. Which car are you taking, sir?"

I have given this some thought, at first I thought I would take the SUV with bullet proof glass so I could keep Anastasia safe, but that would make it clear for any paparazzi hovering around that it was me leaving and they may want to follow and then realize that I was with Anastasia. I do not want her to go through that.

I finally decided to take the R8 because then the paparazzi would have no idea which of the rich fuckers living here it is and since there would be two people in the car, they would not suspect it to be me.

I look at Anastasia to see her reaction to this little talk with Taylor but she is still devouring me with her eyes, but her facial expression slightly changing, as she is lost in thought.

"The R8."

"Safe trip, Mr. Grey. Miss Steele."

As we are waiting for the elevator, Anastasia is looking increasingly worried and I start to worry that she is going to tell me that she does not want to come back and that she does not want to see me anymore.

"What is it, Anastasia?" She is biting that damned lip again, it just makes me want to fuck her and I sure as hell will if she does not stop.

"Stop biting your lip, or I will fuck you in the elevator, and I don't care who gets in with us."

I cannot help smiling at the thought of fucking Anastasia in the elevator. If I have my way, I will definitely be doing that some day.  
"Christian, I have a problem." _Oh fuck._ What can possibly be wrong with her? I thought her mood shifted but she cannot be sick, can she?

"Oh?"

"Well. I need to talk to Kate. I've so many questions about sex, and you're too involved. If you want me to do all these things, how do I know-? I just don't have any terms of reference."

I figure I can not exactly tell her to not talk to her. That is what girls do, I suppose.

"Talk to her if you must. Make sure she doesn't mention anything to Elliot."  
"She wouldn't do that, and I wouldn't tell you anything she tells me about Elliot-if she were to tell me anything."

The trouble with Elliot is that he is a nosy bastard and since I have not brought any girls home, he wants to know everything there is to know about my sexuality.

"Well, the difference is that I don't want to know about his sex life. Elliot's a nosy bastard. But only about what we've done so far. She'd probably have my balls if she knew what I wanted to do to you." Not a pleasant thought at all.  
"Okay."  
"The sooner I have your submission the better, and we can stop all this." This sweet girl is defying me at every turn, normally I would not stand it, but I find myself accepting things that I would normally shy away from or punish hardly.

"Stop all what?" _What, she really has no idea?_

"You, defying me."

She frowns slightly so I lean down and touch her soft skin and kiss her softly. I would have loved to have that kiss last longer; I cannot get enough of her.

I take her hand and lead her out of the elevator and over to the R8, it is a real sports car and the best model there is of course. I love this car, along with my other toys; the helicopter and the glider. Expensive and absorbing hobbies, that was true when I told Anastasia that at the interview.

She seems impressed by the car and rolls her eyes at me when I agree that it is a nice car. _Yeah yeah, I know, I am a sucker for these things. And yes, I am trying to impress her a little._  
I ease the car out of the parking lot and out on the road, I love driving this car. It is a small fast car and everyone is staring after the car as I drive through Seattle towards the I5 and Portland.

I can feel Anastasia's eyes on me again, I really wish I knew what she was thinking. She starts blushing again and I reach over to caress her thigh and squeeze it gently. Her breath hitches at my touch and I can feel myself harden. I am amazed that there is always this spark between us, the slightest touch or look can make us both start squirming with need. Anastasia shows it more than I do, I have perfected the impassive look, but Anastasia blushes and her pupils dilate whenever she is turned on.

I ask her if she is hungry, but she tells me that she is not. I do not handle her lack of eating very well so I tell her that we will stop near Olympia and have lunch before we go back to Portland.

When we walk into the restaurant Anastasia looks around and looks like she likes the place.  
As we make our drinks orders the waitress reacts like most women to do me; they flush, blinks rapidly, their breath hitches and they lose the ability to talk. I know that I am fairly good looking, but sometimes it is really annoying having to deal with waitresses who get completely dumfounded just by looking at me.  
Anastasia is looking down, but peeking from the waitress to me, as if to assess whether I am paying any attention to her fluttering.

After I have ordered the drinks I am thinking about our little encounter with my mother this morning, she really liked Anastasia, which is quite understandable.

Anastasia is looking a little uncertain about what to do with herself or what to say. I am guessing that she does not know whether I want her to act as my sub or girlfriend, so I want to reassure her.  
"My mother liked you."

"Really?" She is blushing again and she does not seem like she believes me.

"Oh yes. She's always thought I was gay."

"Why did she think you were gay?"

"Because she's never seen me with a girl."  
"Oh . . . not even one of the fifteen?" _For fucks sake, why is it so important that there have been fifteen? _

"You remembered. No, none of the fifteen."

"Oh." She looks at me questioningly.

"You know, Anastasia, it's been a weekend of firsts for me, too."

"It has?"

"I've never slept with anyone, never had sex in my bed, never flown a girl in Charlie Tango, never introduced a woman to my mother. What are you doing to me?"

I honestly have no idea what has made me do all these things, I just have an incredible urge to be close to her all the time and not let her go.

_Are you sure you're not going all hearts and flowers, Grey?_

All this is what I need to talk to Flynn about, I do not know what is happening with me, but the thought of not seeing Anastasia before the graduation ceremony on Wednesday has me in a foul mood, I do not know how I will manage without feeling her hand in mine or the touch of her sweet lips on mine.

Again, she forgets to breathe and her eyes shine with some emotion that I cannot identify.

"I've really enjoyed this weekend." She murmurs and bites her lip, yet again. I am so glad that she said that, at least I have not scared her off completely.

"Stop biting that lip. Me too."

"What's vanilla sex?" Oh, she is so innocent, but oh so sexy.

"Just straightforward sex, Anastasia. No toys, no add-ons. You know . . . well, actually you don't, but that's what it means."

The waitress brings us a soup that looks rather unidentifiable and the waitress informs us that it is nettle soup. We both take a tentative taste and find it delicious. We look up at each other at the same time and Anastasia starts giggling. That is the most amazing sound in the world and she looks so happy and carefree as she is giggling and looking at me happily. _WOW! _

Anastasia pulls me out of my reverie by asking me why I have never had vanilla sex before and it takes me a moment, but I decide to tell her about Elena, well not the entire story, but just that one of my mothers friends seduced me when I was fifteen and that I was her submissive for six years. Saying it brings back some great memories from that time, but also some things that I would rather not think about while with Anastasia.  
I tell her that I do know what it is like to make the decision to say yes, in order to calm and reassure her a little bit. She seems very confused and uncertain about it all and to be honest, I feel the same. I am not entirely sure that it is such a fantastic idea to bring Anastasia into this, but I want her with all my being and I cannot just let her go.  
She asks me whether our relationship will be me ordering her around and I have to tell her that it will be exactly like that, and that she will want me to do that, but I lack the conviction of my words. I have a feeling that it will be a fight with Anastasia, that she will not actually want me to do that.

"It's a big step." She murmurs nervously.

"It is. Anastasia, you have to go with your gut. Do the research, read the contract – I'm happy to discuss any aspect. I'll be in Portland until Friday if you want to talk about it before then. Call me – maybe we can have dinner – say, Wednesday? I really want to make this work. In fact, I've never wanted anything as much as I want this to work."  
I hope she will feel my honesty and will agree to meet me Wednesday, I have no idea how I will manage to not see her for three days. In a very short time she has become very important to me, that is also why I have agreed with Taylor to have a covert security officer assigned to Anastasia, at all times.

When we are driving back to Portland we do not talk, we are both lost in thought. I can sense Anastasia frequently peeking my way and then looking out the window. I wish I knew what she was thinking, I really hope that she is not contemplating backing down, I would hate it if she said no and I do not really know how I would handle not being with her.  
I am scared of the turn this is taking, my usual dominant self has vanished in a cloud of uncertainty. I am still a fifty shades of fucked up control freak, but with Anastasia all I really want is to be close to her and preferably fuck her senseless in my playroom. _Yeah, that is the way it is supposed to be._

I need to call Flynn, so I can get all this straightened out, so I can get some suggestion as to how I should handle this.

As I pull up outside her apartment block she suddenly seems apprehensive and a little sad.  
"Do you want to come in?"  
"No. I have work to do." As much as I would love to spend more time with her, I know that this is the easiest way to leave, if I go in I will not be able to leave and I would have to face the very tenacious Miss Kavanagh which I do not particularly feel like.

She stares down at her hands in her lap and looks sad. I want to have one last contact with her before I leave, so I reach over and take one of her hands and kiss it tenderly.  
"Thank you for this weekend, Anastasia. It's been . . . the best. Wednesday? I'll pick you up from work, from wherever?"

"Wednesday."

I kiss her hand once again and put it back in her lap and leave the car to open the door for her.  
As she makes her way up the path to the front door I stand by the car watching her go, suddenly feeling empty, like something is missing. She turns around looking at me with the biggest smile on her face.

"Oh . . . by the way, I'm wearing your underwear." She holds up the waistband of the pair of boxers she's taken from my drawer. _WHAT THE FUCK! That is so fucking sexy. _

I completely forget my feeling of emptiness as she sashays to the front door. That woman takes my breath away. She never does or says what I expect her to and that smart mouth of hers really has some snarky remarks sometimes. Maybe that is what I am so attracted to.

I leave the apartment block and drive to the Heathman Hotel to check into my suite. I have some business I need to attend to this evening. I have abandoned my email today and I need to arrange for a brand new computer to be sent to Anastasia first thing in the morning so she can start her research.

I also need to talk to Taylor and make sure that everything is in place with the security officer and the hourly reports on her whereabouts that I have requested. _Control freak much, Grey?_  
I spend the evening wondering what Anastasia is doing and what she is thinking. I do not get nearly as much work done as I should, but I cannot seem to keep my mind from wandering.  
Luckily I found that Flynn is actually in Portland for a conference and will be arriving tonight, so I have agreed to see him tomorrow afternoon. He made sure to tell me that he would charge extra for a consultation out of his office, but I honestly do not give a fuck. I can afford it, but it is part of our usual banter. He always makes fun of it because he knows that I could not care less.

I decide that I should have a workout before I have dinner, just to rid myself of some of these thoughts that I have.

When I get back I do not feel much better, but at least I have used some of my excess energy. I go to have dinner in the hotel restaurant and have a glass of wine. While I am eating dinner I have an urge to text Anastasia, but decide against it, thinking that she may get the wrong idea if I start texting her.  
When I return from dinner, Barney informs me that he has ordered the latest MacBook Pro to be delivered to Anastasia's apartment at 8 am in the morning. Again he works his magic, it is the latest MacBook, not even available in the stores yet. I am for all things Apple, but I use a BlackBerry for email because of the security measure they have for their email system and seeing as I travel a lot, I need something with long battery life.

I decide to send Anastasia an email, so it will be waiting for her tomorrow when she gets the computer.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Your New Computer

Date: May 22 2011 23.15

To: Anastasia Steele

Dear Miss Steele,

I trust you slept well. I hope that you put this laptop to good use, as discussed.

I look forward to dinner Wednesday.

Happy to answer any questions before then, via e-mail, should you so desire.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

My very first email to the delectable Miss Steele.

I am not used to sending emails that are not business related so I do not really know what tone to use in this one. But I decide that since it is regarding business related matters - the contract - that I will just write as I normally would. I do write that I look forward to dinner on Wednesday though, because I do.

I cannot wait to she my beautiful girl.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When I finally go to sleep, it is an uneasy sleep and I wake up from a nightmare at 3 am and since I do not have my piano to soothe me, I feel like shit. I toss and turn for another hour without sleeping, but decide it is a lost cause so I get up to answer some more emails and go to the gym when they open at 5 am.

I have a couple of meetings this morning before my appointment with Flynn this afternoon. The first meeting is at 7.30 so it suits me perfectly that I have time for a workout before then, to try to dispel some of the foul mood that I am in, yet again.

The meeting is deathly dull, with suits sucking up to me to get money out of me, they think that because I am so young, I will not be able to see straight through their bullshit. As I glance at the clock I am starting to get anxious to hear something from Anastasia, she should have received the computer by now and have it set up to use. I cannot believe that she takes up so much space in my head, I do not go even half an hour without thinking about her. I look forward to my meeting with Flynn later, as he should be able to shed some light on my strange behaviour and manage to give me a solution to this, to get Anastasia to sign the contract so she can be my sub, because that is what I really want.

As I completely space out from the meeting I notice an email popping in on my computer screen and to my joy it is from Anastasia.

I can see from her email that she has read the contract, which pleases me immensely. That means that she has not completely disregarded it and thrown it in the trash, she is still considering.

She informs me that she does not want a computer and that she will only accept it on loan. That woman has got to be one of the most stubborn women I have ever met, she is so stubborn and independent it is driving me mad. I just want her to graciously accept what I give her, as a sub would do, but not Anastasia. I am seriously beginning to wonder whether she will make a good sub at all, but I have to find out because I am not ready to let her go yet.

She keeps calling me "Sir" in her emails which make me smile, I love to hear that from her, even more so when she is saying it and I am hoping I will hear it a lot more in the near future.  
I am not a guy who generally smiles a lot so when the other participants in the meeting are glaring at me I am aware that my steely image is slipping a little, I had better wipe that smile of my face before they think I have gone mental.

My spirits have lifted so much that I even write Elliot's annoying "Laters, baby" in my last email to Anastasia. _What the fuck is going on, Grey? Are you completely loosing your marbles?_

I decide that I should stop thinking about Anastasia until my meeting with Flynn, otherwise these business meetings will end up without result what so ever, because I am not listening to a word being said.

I manage through the morning without thinking too much about her, but when I get to my lunch meeting I am missing her like crazy. Knowing that she is at work I cannot expect answer if I send her an email, so I go into my lunch meeting in yet another foul mood.

My mood takes a turn for the worse when the report from the covert security arrives in my inbox, Anastasia has gone to lunch with the photographer fucker. I feel rage boil in me, how can she even want to see him after what he did. I feel like coming after her, to pick her up and drive her back to my hotel room, just to remind her that she is mine. _But she isn't yours, now is she, Grey?  
_She has not signed the contract yet, so even though I took her virginity, I have no right over her, she can see whomever she wants and do whatever she wants.

After eating some lunch I feel slightly better, even though I am still mad it has reassured me some that the covert security has informed me that they just went for lunch and then she went back to work again.

After a short business meeting it is time for my session with Flynn.

As I arrive at his suite, I feel reassured that this will help me with my stray thoughts and that I after this session with Flynn will have gained some perspective on things again. I can feel my dominant self, starting to take over again.  
"Hello, Christian. How are you feeling?"  
"Good day, John. I'm good. How about yourself?"

"I am just fine. So Christian, has anything new happened since the last time you and I talked? It has been a while."  
"Yes, well… Quite a lot has happened actually." _Shit, this is even harder to talk about than I thought it would be._

"Do tell, Christian. Have you perhaps found a new sub? As far as I can remember you haven't had one for quite some time."

"That is correct, John. But no that isn't exactly the case."

"Oh?"

"Well, I've sort of met this girl and she isn't into the scene, but I want her to be my sub, so I have presented her with a contract in the hopes that she will agree."  
"Whoa, back up, Christian. You've sort of met this girl. Would you care to explain this?"

"Well, her name is Anastasia. She came to interview me for the WSU paper because I'm conferring the degrees there this week. She sort of fell into my office and she was really bad at interviewing, it turns out that she was sent by her friend, because the friend was ill. So since that interview I couldn't get her out of my mind so I went to Portland to visit her."  
"This is quite unusual for you, Christian. You just went to her house to visit her?"

"No, not exactly. I had Welch do a background check on her and then I went to the place she works and, well, I pretended that I needed to buy some thing so that I could talk to her. She works in a hardware store you see."  
"So basically you stalked her?" _Oh fuck!_  
"Yes, I guess you can say that I did."  
"How did she react to that?"

"I ended up agreeing to do a photo shoot for the article she had interviewed me for, the day after and after that photo shoot we went out for coffee." The look on Flynn's face at this point is unreadable, but I think he looks a little amused and surprised.  
"You went on a regular date with her?"

"No, we just went for coffee." I know that technically it was a date, but I will not admit that.  
"If you say so. Did you present her with the contract at this point?"  
"Well, no. That actually ended quite badly, so I thought that my chances was equal to zero after that coffee."

"Why is that?"

"Because when we walked back to the hotel where her car was parked she almost got run over by a cyclist, but I saved her at the last minute and as I held her in my arms she wanted me to kiss her. But I told her that I wasn't the man for her, so she got upset and left."  
"No wonder she got upset. Did you go after her?" _Was I supposed to do that?_

"No, of course not."  
"Then how did you end up presenting her with a contract?"

"Later that week she finished her exams, so I sent her some Hardy books as a gift. She ended up drunk dialling me from a bar that same night and I went there to pick her up and brought her back to my hotel room so I could keep an eye on her."  
"So you let her sleep it off on the couch or did you offer her your bed?"

"We both slept in my bed." By the way his eyebrows shoot up to his forehead by this news, I am guessing that he is quite surprised by this. Hell, I was surprised myself.

"You just slept?"

"Yes, I put her in my bed when we arrived at my hotel and I decided to sleep in my bed as well."  
"You have never had anyone sleep in your bed before, am I correct?"

"No, you know that, John. I don't want anyone sleeping in my bed if they touch me."

"Why did you sleep next to her then, Christian?"

"I am not really sure, John. I have never pursued a sub the way I have been doing with Anastasia. There is something about her, I cannot leave her alone."

"What do you mean, Christian?"

"I can't stop thinking about her, when I'm not with her I want to know what she is doing and I enjoy her company. Normally I would shy away from spending time with my subs other than sex, of course. But with Anastasia, it's just somehow different."  
"How is it different?"

"I lose a little of my dominance when I'm with her, I think that maybe it's because I know that she is inexperienced."

"So you can't stop thinking about her, when you're not with her, you want to be with her and she has you doing things that you normally wouldn't do?"  
"Yes." _Oh fuck, where is he going with this?_ He is looking at me with a smile that reaches his eyes and looking very satisfied, I do not feel that this is a good reaction.

"Have you done other things with her that you wouldn't normally do?"

"Yes." I am not really sure whether I should tell him the whole story.  
"What have you done with her, Christian?" Now he is looking a little worried, so I decide to tell him the whole story as it is. _Fuck this is difficult; I have a hard time articulating what I want to say._

"When I went to pick her up at the bar, Elliot was with me, so she's met him. And as it turns out, he ended up nailing Anastasia's roommate and best friend. But anyway, the morning after, when she woke up in my hotel room we flirted a little and I ended up inviting her to dinner at my place so I could tell her exactly what it is I do and what I expect from her. So we flew up to Seattle in Charlie Tango that evening and I showed her my playroom."  
"How was her reaction to that?"

"Shocked, I think."

"That is understandable. But I'm assuming she didn't run for hills since you have been able to present her with a contract?"

"No and this is the crazy part. I presented her with the contract and she calmly sat there discussing it and then she throws this bomb in my face; she was a virgin."  
"How did you react to that?"

"I got pissed, of course. I mean, how could she not tell me that to begin with and then I showed her all that. But she actually wanted to be with me even though I told her that I don't do hearts and flowers."  
"So…?"

"What?" He must be able to figure it out, surely.

"So what did you do then?"

"I thought about it while she was just sitting there waiting and decided that for some reason she wanted me to be the one to take her virginity and to be with her the first time. Since I really wanted her, I decided that I would fuck her and not disappoint her by sending her home." Flynn is looking increasingly worried as I tell him this, no doubt he thinks that I just took her to the playroom and cuffed her and fucked her.

"So, Christian, how did you go about fucking her, as you put it?"

"I took her to bed."

"You took her into your own bed?"

"Yes."

"Well, that is quite unusual for you. As I understand you have never had sex in your own bed before, correct?"

"That is correct, John." He is looking a little less worried and I have to admit that I am a little amused at the way he is reacting to this news.

"Why did you take her to bed and not your playroom?"  
"I'm not that twisted a bastard. Since it was her first time, I wanted it to be memorable for her, I didn't want to scare her off. And since I still wanted her really badly, I was hoping that if I made it something to remember she would agree to the contract."

"Not that I want the gory details, but did you use your usual MO with this woman, just in your bed?"  
"No, John. I didn't tie her up, but I made sure that she couldn't touch me and before you worry yourself to death, I was gentle with her. Fuck, you think that I would actually deprive a young beautiful woman of having a pleasurable first time?"

"No, Christian, I know that you do have feelings beneath that hard surface of yours. But seeing as you have never done anything like this before; forgive me for worrying on behalf of this woman."

"Fuck no, I wouldn't do that." Now I am just really pissed at him for assuming that I would actually hurt her. I would never hurt my Anastasia.

"Forgive me, Christian. How was her reaction to all this?"

"We didn't get a chance to talk before she fell asleep in my bed but she has three orgasms, so I am guessing she liked it." I am feeling rather satisfied with myself as I announce that she had three orgasms.

"Was it satisfactory for you?"

"Surprisingly it was, I've never had vanilla sex before, but it was amazing."

"So you wouldn't shy away from doing it again should the situation require it?"

"I guess not."

"Did the both of you sleep in your bed that night?"

"I spent hours just looking at her and I wasn't sure whether I should lay down next to her, so I played the piano for a while. But then she got up to see what I was doing and wanted me back in bed, so I followed her into my bed and cuddled up next to her. And amazingly I slept really well. I didn't have any nightmares, which you know I usually do. By yet another look of surprise on Flynn's face, I would expect that he have something to say about that too.

"You say you cuddled, in what way?" _Uh oh…_

"We spooned, me behind her so that she couldn't touch me."

"This is getting more and more unusual for you, Christian."

"For fucks sake, John, I know. That's why I wanted to see you, I want to know what the fuck is wrong with me." Now I am getting agitated again, Flynn is just smiling at me, but I want to know what the fuck to do here.

"First let me ask you if there are any more things you have done with Anastasia?"  
"Well, I've introduced her to my mother."

"You have what?"

"For fucks sake, you heard me, John."

"Why have you introduced her to your mother, Christian?"

"Because the morning after we were fucking in my bed again and then we heard voices outside my bedroom door, it was my mother. Taylor luckily managed to get her to stay out of my bedroom by telling her that I had someone with me. So I didn't really have a great deal of a choice."  
"You could've hidden her in the bedroom."

"You know damn well what my family thinks in regards to my sexuality and you think I should have hidden her from my mom?"

"In hindsight, maybe that would have caused more damage than good, yes. How did you mother react?"

"I went out to her alone at first to let Anastasia get dressed. She kept looking at my bedroom door, it was actually fucking funny."

"Yes, I can imagine how that must have been."

"Well Anastasia finally came out and I introduced them. My mother couldn't stop smiling and Anastasia was rather shy, but I guess that's normal? What the fuck do I know?"

"So both Elliot and your mother have met this woman, yet you still want her to be your sub?"

"Yes, that is what I want."

"What does Anastasia want?"

"I don't know."

"You haven't thought to ask her?"

"Why the fuck should I? I want her to be my sub and if she doesn't want that she can just say no!"

"Have you thought about the fact that she might want a regular relationship?"  
"Why should I do that? I don't want that, I can't do that. I just want her as my sub and that's it."

"But what if Anastasia wants more than that, say a regular relationship?"  
"I can't do that, so that's not going to happen."

"Why not Christian?"

"You know why the fuck not, John. That whole love crap is not for me. That is for someone like my parents and you. Not me. My heart was destroyed long ago. You fucking know this."

"I see. So even though you've just told me that you can't stand being without her, you will send her away if she wants to have a regular relationship?" And right there is the fucking crux of my problem, what the fuck do I do if she says that. I stay silent, because I simply do not know what to tell him.

"Christian, all the things you have told about this woman and about your feelings for her..."

"I don't do fucking feelings, John."

"I think that you do, Christian. And you do have a heart, otherwise you would not have cared enough to actually treat Anastasia with so much respect when you took her virginity." That is not what I fucking came here for. I just want a solution to be able to continue the way I had planned from the beginning.  
"Look, Christian. From the way you have described how you act around Anastasia and the way you feel when you are not with her, I would say that you are falling in love." _WHAT THE FUCK! That is just plain fucking bullshit. _

"I don't fucking do love." I fly off the couch and start pacing the room, furious.

"I didn't come here so that you could just tell me some bullshit, John."

"Calm down, Christian."

"How the fuck can I calm down when you're talking bullshit?" He just stares at me and lets me cool off. Eventually I sit down on the couch again.  
"Christian, I know that you do not have much experience in this. But trust me when I tell you that you are falling in love with this woman. That is how it feels when you fall in love. You miss the other person, you don't want to be without them and they make you do thing that you wouldn't normally do, just because you want to make them happy."

I can't believe he is telling me that I love her. No, I refuse to believe him, that is not it. My heart was destroyed a very long time ago and where others have a heart, I just have a black hole of nothing. Love is not for someone like me, love is for good people like my parents. No one can love someone like me, that is just not possible.

"John, I just need a solution to what the fuck I should do here. I want her as my sub and I need to get back in control."

"I'm afraid I can't give you any golden solution to this, Christian. When you fall in love it is both a fantastic and a scary experience. But I am sure that if Anastasia has already let you take her virginity, she has feelings for you too, so I am sure that you two will work it out just fine. Just make sure that you embrace these feelings. I know that it is very difficult for someone like you to do this. But if Anastasia tells you that she wants a regular relationship and not a BDSM relationship, just don't send her packing. As you have already experienced you are more than capable of having sex without using your playroom and you enjoy talking to her, rather than fucking her all the time. That is just the beginning of a regular relationship."

"For fucks sake, John." All this is whirling around in my head and rage is cursing through my body. This just will not do, I need to find some other solution to this, than all this love crap. I get up from the couch and start pacing again.

"So you suggest I do what exactly, John?"

"Embrace these feelings and see where it takes you. If Anastasia asks for something other than a BDSM relationship from you, consider accepting that."

"I can't do that, John. I DON'T DO HEARTS AND FLOWERS." I yell this and then I leave the room and walk briskly to my own room. I am burning with rage and I cannot seem to get a hold of myself. What the fuck is he suggesting, that I should just play happy families and give up my BDSM lifestyle. _Fuck no._

I need to do something, so I change into my running gear and leave the hotel to pound the streets of Portland. All the things he has said whirls around in my head and I do not know what to do with myself. I am dead set on not having a regular relationship, I cannot do that. But the thought of losing Anastasia is horrible, I would not know what to do with myself. This is not love, this is just an obsession. It must be.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Dr. Flynn's POV

I remember the first time Christian came to see me, he was in his mid-twenties and when he came into my office he deposited his file on my desk. It was several books thick with what I had no doubt was endless upon endless evaluations of Christian not being able to control his anger and the inevitable conclusion that, that particular therapist could do nothing to help him.

When he came into my office, I was surprised to see a young man with the symmetrical beauty of a male model, but it was more than clear that behind those eyes where demons that he hid well and did not show the rest of the world. I felt like I looked in to the depth of one much older than Christian was. He was radiating hostility and I wondered why he came, if he really did not want to be here.

I told him about the way I do therapy, which I especially in his case thought to be a very good way to go forward, but when I mentioned Solution Focused Brief Therapy, he already closed down and did not seem inclined to taking to my methods. It soon became apparent to me that his method of coping was beating the shit out of brown haired girls in his so-called playroom. He did not really want the therapy, he just wanted someone to load all his shit onto.

His family has never known anything about his lifestyle, in fact very early in our sessions it became obvious that he did not talk very much with his family, he did not feel that he belonged there and that he was a constant disappointment to his parents. He is very fond of his little sister Mia and I sense that he has a somewhat good relationship with his big brother Elliot, if not a little distant. He does not like people getting too close.  
Even his submissives are not close to him, they are there for the sex and I expect the expensive gifts he gives them. But he does not share a relationship with these women; they are obviously just there for the sex. He has on a few occasions ended their contract if the women have indicated that they want to be in a relationship with him.

The only person I have the impression that he has a close relationship with is Elena, the woman who seduced him when he was 15 and introduced him to the BDSM scene. I have been unfortunate enough to meet the woman on a few occasions and I do not like her. I have observed her with Christian and even though they do not have a sexual relationship anymore, it is obvious to me that she still controls him in some way. She is extremely manipulative and will in most cases steer his mind in the direction that she wants.

Christian has countless times told me that she is just a friend and business partner, but I find it very difficult to believe that there is not more to it than that for her.  
She helps him choose his submissives sometimes, which I really do not understand, but he told me that it has always been like that between them.

His family does not know about their affair either, which I suppose is rather clever.

My wife has gotten involved in some of the charity work that Christian's parents are also involved with so we have been invited to some of the functions they host at their home in Bellevue. This has given me a rare opportunity to get a look at how Christian interacts with his family and those around him. He is very loving with his family, it is clear as day that he loves them, but he keeps a comfortable distance to them, he does not tell them much about his life and what he does. It is apparent that he does not have many friends; he uses these functions to network with potential business partners and leaves early. He does not see himself as capable of love and thinks that he does not have a heart. In all the time he has been my client we always go about the same subjects, his nightmares, his fear of being touched and his sexual life. There is never anything new on the table and he never wants to try the SFBT that I would usually insist on my clients trying. But I have kept him as a client because I feel that he trusts me and at least should have the opportunity to have someone to talk to even if he is not willing to use my methods. It is plain as day that he cannot go on without having a therapist, so it might as well be me who gets the money. That and the fact that I have grown to care for him; usually I keep a distance to my patients, but having been involved with his parents who are some of the sweetest people it is difficult not to care. I am hoping that one day he will change, he will realize that he is capable of more than an impersonal BDSM relationship with a woman, because I am certain that he is.

Usually when he has come to our appointments, he has not been willing to discuss why he does what he does or why he feels the way he does. Usually he has just unloaded his shit on my table and walked away calmer. I have always pushed his limits, trying to make him see things from a different angle, but when he refuses to do anything about his behavioural pattern, it becomes difficult to help him and come up with solutions, especially when he is not willing to try them.  
He always listens to me and he takes in what I say or come up with as a possible solution to some emotional turmoil inside him, but I doubt that he rarely executes it when he leaves my room.

My deepest fear is that he will never be willing to let go of his past and pursue a loving relationship with another woman because he is master of his universe and does not feel the need to change his way as he is not aspiring to a loving relationship.

So when he came to see me when I was in Portland I quickly sensed that he was in more emotional turmoil than usual and something about him had changed. Even as a therapist I could not quite put my finger on it as I had never seen him this way before. There was an unusual restlessness to him and a depth to his eyes, which I had never seen before. Usually his eyes was filled with dark secrets that he did not want revealed for anything, but this time it was something not quite as dark and hurt as what I usually saw there.

When he started speaking of Anastasia, it quickly became apparent what I saw in his eyes and I struggled with how I should tell him that he was in love, since he does not believe that he is entitled to love from another human being.

As expected he did not react well to the fact that I told him that he is in love, in fact he ended up storming out the door. But I expected he would come around and come back even more bewildered than when he left.

He seemed very sincere about this girl, just the fact that he had not taken her to his playroom to have sex with her was a very big deal and then she has met both his brother and mother, seemingly unavoidable according to himself. But this man has a steely resolve and whatever he wants he gets. Even though his family has believed him to be gay for years, he has not made a move to prove them wrong, but apparently had no problem introducing this particular woman to his family.

I will delve into these many firsts with him the next time, because I believe it to be essential that he understands that this is not unnatural, it is very normal and a very loving gesture that he is already at this point trying to compromise. What I fear is that he is very set on having this Anastasia as a sub and since she is inexperienced in the scene, I fear it will be a deal breaker if he gets to rough with her. The way he has described his usual sex scene in the playroom, I would not expect that someone like her would be able to fulfil that part of his needs. But it seems she is already filling other parts, he is just not willing to admit how import she already is to him.

As the relationship progresses I expect I will have many more sessions with him in order to get him through it, I can only imagine that his feelings for her will get stronger if she agrees to spend more time with him, which will only cause him to be more confused than he already is.  
I am fearing what he will do if she wants a regular relationship with him, if he will agree to try or cut her off, as he as with all previous subs.

I expect I will be hearing from him again very soon.

Christian's POV. 

When I come back from my run I have somewhat calmed down, physically anyway. My thoughts are in a whirl all over the place and I feel even more confused now than when I went to see Flynn.

_In love… No, I can't be, I just can't be. _

After I have showered I decide to email Anastasia, just because I feel like it has been forever since I last heard something from her. When she does not reply immediately I feel myself getting restless and not really concentrating on the work I should be doing.

I finally hear something from her and we start some email banter. I love how we do that, it makes me smile and feel at ease. And she keeps calling me Sir, which gives me a hard on yet again. I imagine her naked body in my playroom, under my spell, doing exactly like I command her to do.

I tell her to do the research that we agreed on so that she knows what all of this is about and then I order some room service and work while I eat, in my position I cannot abandon my work for too long at a time, so I might as well just do that when I know I am not going to hear anything from Anastasia while she is researching.

We have various business deals that require my full attention, so I go about looking over business plans and spreadsheets to make sure I have everything ready for a meeting I have tomorrow.

At eight Taylor comes to my suite and we go over the plans for tomorrow and the next few days. Thursday is the graduation ceremony so I have the whole day reserved for that, just in case Anastasia has accepted my contract before then. If she does that I would like to spend some time with her on Thursday after the ceremony to celebrate. _Celebrate what, Grey? Her submission or her graduation?_

Taylor and I are planning tomorrow's meetings when I receive an email from Anastasia stating that it was nice knowing me. I fly off my chair looking incredulous at my phone, not quite wanting to believe what it says.

"What the fuck!"

"Is everything all right, sir?"

"No, it fucking isn't alright!"

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No. You have the rest of the night off, Taylor. I'm leaving." I have to get to Anastasia and figure out what this is about. I cannot let her go, I just cannot.

"May I ask where you are going, sir?" That is none of his fucking business, but then again, he is my security so it would probably be wise to tell him anyway.

"I'm going to Miss Steele's. I do not know when I will be back."

"Okay, sir. Just let me know if you need me."

"Right."

I leave Taylor sitting on a chair in my suite looking confused and a little amused at my sudden outburst and leaving almost within the same minute. I am guessing that he is quite amused at my constant running to and spying on the delectable Miss Steele.

I just cannot believe that she is calling it off, I cannot let that happen. I will just have to seduce her to let her know what she is missing out on if she says no; seduce her enough to say yes.

On my way I drive by a drugstore and decide to go in and buy a chilled white wine, which will be part of the seduction of Anastasia.

When I reach her apartment and knock on the door I hope I find Anastasia answering, instead it is the tenacious Miss Kavanagh. Luckily she is on the phone, so she only stared wide-eyed at me, not entirely sure whether she should let me in apparently. I start walking into their apartment and hold up the chilled bottle, she takes it and walk toward the kitchen to put it in the fridge and point towards a door that I assume is Anastasia's room. I walk over to the door that is ajar and see Anastasia sitting at a little desk reading over what looks like my contract, a pen in hand writing notes in the margin of it.

So she is still considering my contract. Maybe it was her version of a joke, to send me that email.

She looks like she has been on a run, which pleases me. I get the impression from the background checks that she does not do much exercise, so I suspect this has something to do with the rules in the contract, or at least I hope. I look around her room, which seems very peaceful. Everything is either cream or pale blue, colours that I myself like very much. It is not girly and pink like Mia's, which I like.

She looks so amazing with her hair tied in pigtails and looking very concentrated with her iPod in her ears. Even though she is only wearing sweats, she looks great and those pigtails do something to me.  
Even though I saw her yesterday I feel like it has been forever and seeing her again makes me aware of just how much I want her. My cock is twitching with anticipation just looking at her and my imagination is running wild.

Suddenly she turns and sees me standing casually in the doorway and freezes, she forgets to breathe and is giving me an once-over and then just stares at me open-mouthed.

She seems as if she has forgotten how to speak too, so I ask to sit down and she nods. At least she is not kicking me out and judging by her reaction to me and the electrical pull there is between us, I suspect that she is not going to.

When she finally finds the ability to speak she tells me that she thought that I would reply by email, so I am certain that having me here is not something she ever expected. _Oh this should be fun._

Then she starts biting that lower lip again and my cock is now hard, wanting to fuck her.  
As we talk I can see in her eyes that she is a little bolder now that we have had sex before. She is getting a "fuck me" look, her blue eyes smouldering and her cheeks slightly flushed, but not with embarrassment this time. I can tell that she is getting ready to kiss me, but as I don't want her touching me I get ready to take her and lie her beneath me on the bed where I can restrain her hands. I was a little foresighted so before I left my hotel room I took the silver-gray tie that we used the first time I restrained her, so I would have it with me tonight.

Just as I had anticipated she launches at me, so I quickly grab her and we end up on the bed, me on top of her. I kiss her with a lust and force that I have not quite experienced in the same way before. I am showing her who the dominant is, but at the same time I am pouring the fact that I have actually missed her into this kiss. Feeling her lips on mine, her surrender and her stroking my tongue. Feeling her body beneath me surrender to me. She may not be ready to be my sub, but her body very easily surrenders to me.

After asking her whether she trusts me I tie her hands to the headboard and get off the bed to look at her lying there, bound and totally at my mercy. She looks fantastic and I can tell that she is extremely aroused and I can only imagine how wet she is for me.  
I start to undo her sneakers so I can get her naked, but she starts protesting. I really do not care that she has not showered after her run, I expect that she will be sweating a little after the treatment I have planned for her. As I stand beside her bed I start taking of my shoes and socks and pull off my shirt, I unbutton my pants but leave them on as I plan to go to the kitchen to get the bottle of wine and I may run into Miss Kavanagh and if I am only wearing my boxers she will notice the massive hard on I have. She may still do that through my pants, but at least I will be halfway decent.  
Anastasia is looking at me, blue eyes burning with intensity and lust and she is biting her lip. I am certain that she likes my body the way she is looking at it.

I pull her t-shirt over her head, but leave it over her eyes so she cannot see anything and then walk out the door to get the white wine.

Katherine is sitting on the sofa reading a magazine when she sees me. She starts gaping at me, her eyes looking over my well-trained abs and then lands on the bulge in my pants. She closes her eyes and then asks rather tersely:

"What do you want?" I cannot help but notice that her pupils are dilated and she is flushed. The same freaking reaction every woman gets, but I actually thought that the very tenacious Miss Kavanagh was immune to my looks seeing as she for some reason does not particularly like me.

"Where would I find a wine glass? And do you have some ice-cubes?"

"Right, hang on."

She walks to the kitchen and collects a wine glass from the cupboard and fills it with ice and gives me the bottle from the fridge. For some reason she must know what I am up to since she only gives me one wine glass, but I really do not care. It must be apparent to her, that we are definitely not doing the crossword puzzles by the look she had when her eyes landed on my pants.

"Just be careful with her, she means the world to me and I will not let her get hurt by you." _What the fuck!_

I do not reply, just nod and go back to Anastasia. She is obviously very protective about Anastasia and I get reminded of just how innocent Anastasia is. I will have to remind myself to not take it too far with her, too quickly.

As I see her lying on the bed I feel that strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've had before, she is doing something to me that no one else has ever done before, but it is just an infatuation, surely.

I take off my pants and sit astride her on the bed with the wine in my hand. I want to give her wine with my mouth, which is such a good way to seduce her.  
As I do this she is moaning and a slight smile is playing on her lips. She loves it, but I can also feel her writhe with need beneath me so I decide to see how still she can actually be.

I deposit some ice and wine in her navel and then start playing with her nipples as I tell her that she has to keep still otherwise she will spill the wine and I will not let her come.

In the end she cannot keep still and end up spilling the wine. I am quick to lick it off her so the sheets do not get wet.

I kiss her stomach and decide I need to check how ready she is so I slide my hand under her panties and feel that she is soaking wet for me. As I slowly slide my fingers in and out of her, she is tilting her hips asking for more. I love that she is getting bold and does not hide the fact that she wants me. I pull off her t-shirt so she can see me, but she tells me that she wants to touch me. But I will not let that happen.

I tease her and bring her to the brink of orgasm several times. She is moaning, groaning and whimpering at my touch and the fact that I know exactly when to stop so she does not come.

As she is begging I ask her what she wants and she makes it very simple: me. I love that she just says straight out that she wants me and is not afraid to say it as it is. I ask her how she wants me to fuck her, but I get no response other than moaning, so I reach over for the foil packet and sheath up. As Anastasia is watching mesmerized, like she is still amazed at the size of me, I start stroking myself. Her eyes widen and she is panting loudly and licking her lips, it is very obvious that she wants me.

As I suspected the email was her idea of a joke, so when she tells me that, I decide that I will fuck her hard from behind, just to show her who is in control. I tip her over on her stomach and push her knees up so her glorious ass in right in front of me. I really want to claim that too some day, but that is way to early. As I slam into her she comes in a glorious orgasm but I do not stop, I keep pounding into her and enjoy her whimpering and moaning. Since I did not stop to let her come down from her orgasm she is already very close again and I really, really love watching and hearing her come.

I tell her to come again and amazingly she does right away. I love the feel of her tight pussy clenching around my length, which makes me come as well. I collapse on top of her and what I feel in that moment scares the living shit out of me. I know that if I do not get out of that bed right now and get dressed, I am going to end up doing something out of my normal pattern, yet again.

I really need to establish that this is a Dom/sub relationship and not give Anastasia the wrong idea. So I pull out of her and pull the duvet over her, while she is watching me dress.

I lie down next to her, fully dressed and talk about her email. She asks me why I do not like to be touched, but I blow it off by giving her a kiss and asking her whether she is still considering my proposal.  
I open up and tell her that I feared that she was saying no. I am very glad that she is still considering, at least I know that I still have a chance and at this exact moment she does not seems unhappy about what just happened between us.

She asks whether I will collar her, so I know that she has done the homework and that even though she said that the email was a joke, that she was probably a little overwhelmed by what she has read and seen in her research. There are a lot of different things that you can do in a BDSM playroom, but I haven't used them all on my subs. I have found what works for me and kept to that. She asks if I was collared by Mrs. Robinson, which I am sure is her nickname for Elena. I think it is incredibly funny that she has made that up.

She seems very surprised that I still talk to Elena and is suddenly very curt with me and looks angry. Then she says that I have someone to discuss my lifestyle with but she is not allowed and actually looks really angry with this. Again I remember that she is very inexperienced so I offer her that she can talk to one of my former subs, that may help her to understand all this. I know that Leila and Susannah became good friends after I introduced them. That was not received well by Anastasia, she is appalled by my suggestion and draws the duvet up to her cheek and looks vaguely hurt that I would suggest that.  
She is jealous – _what the fuck. _My mind quickly drifts back to what Flynn said at our appointment:

"_I am sure that if Anastasia has already let you take her virginity, she has feelings for you too"_

Before I know it she is kicking me out; she asked me whether I was staying, but I have to establish the ground rules, which is that I never sleep with anyone, I will not do that with her anymore, even though it felt fantastic when I did. If I was not already dressed I am certain that I would crawl in her bed and lie down with her.

She follows me to the door, but she does not look at me. She seems very despondent as she is looking at her hands, which she is wringing nervously in front of her. Even though this would be expected behavior from a sub I cannot help but feel unease by the fact that she is not looking at me, I do not think that she is doing this because she has found her inner sub. I am afraid that Flynn was right and that maybe she is developing feelings for me. At this point I should probably just call it off with her and tell her that I cannot give her what she wants, but I cannot do that. I cannot stand the thought of loosing her.

As I bend to kiss her goodbye and our lips meet, the electricity is there, as it always seems to be between us. The kiss quickly becomes more urgent with need and something else that I cannot define. But we both cling to each other and the kiss.

"Anastasia, what are you doing to me?"

"I could say the same to you."

This just feeds my suspicion; I think she feels more for me than a sub should. I turn to leave and walk towards my car. I do not want her to feel rejected so as I make to get in my car I look at her and give her my best smile.  
She looks a little lost as she is standing there looking at me, giving me a weak smile in return.  
As I get into my car she closes the door and I rest my head on the stearingwheel.

I feel a little lost myself, again the words of Flynn fly around in my head.

"_You're falling in love, Christian"_

Surely not, I am a Dom for fucks sake!

With that I return to the hotel, feeling confused but also very determined to act as the Dom that I am.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Driving back to the hotel from Anastasia's apartment, I keep thinking about all the things Flynn said earlier. I really have to make up my mind about what I am going to do if she tells me that she wants to have a regular relationship with me.

I am absolutely certain that I am not capable of doing that, but on the other hand I really do not want to lose Anastasia. I am not really sure how she has become so important to me, but she has.

Earlier I stormed out of my meeting with Flynn, I think I will have to meet with him again tomorrow just to get some more things straight in my head.

I am still not buying his bullshit about me being in love, I know that, that is just not possible. This is just an infatuation that I will need to control like I control everything else. But I still need to make some adjustments, because Anastasia is still completely new to this, so I will have to be even more aware of how she reacts than I would normally be with an experienced sub. But I do not understand women at all, I can read them in bed and I am good at reading people in general, but when all that feelings crap comes out, I do not know what to do. I may need to ask Flynn for advice on that matter. Just to make sure that I do not fuck her up by being with me.

I have a lot of things to do tomorrow which is probably a good thing since I will not see Anastasia tomorrow. But then again I was not supposed to see her today, but that ended differently anyway. But I really should give her some time to go over the contract so we can discuss it over dinner on Wednesday. I am actually really worried about this dinner, it could be make or break time.

When I get back to the hotel I decide to email Anastasia before I go to bed, just to let her know that I am thinking about her and wish her a good nights sleep.

What I receive in return is somewhat surprising, she has gone over the contract in detail and is writing all the things that she is having doubts about.

I tell her to go to bed and then I go about reading her email in more detail in order to try to understand what her issues are about this.

_2: Not sure why this is solely for MY benefit – ie to explore MY sensuality and limits. I'm sure I wouldn't need a ten-page contract to do that! Surely this is for YOUR benefit. _

I guess that she does have a point there, this is for the benefit of both of us. I can agree to that.

_4: As you are aware you are my only sexual partner. I don't take drugs, and I've not had any blood transfusions. I'm probably safe. What about you?_

What the fuck does she think, of course I am safe. I get checked every six months.

_8: I can terminate at any time if I don't think you're sticking to the agreed limits. Okay – I like this._

Finally something she is not objecting to.

_9: Obey you in all things? Accept without hesitation your discipline? We need to talk about this._

That's the fucking point of being a sub, you have to obey me. I am seriously beginning to wonder whether she even has a submissive bone in her delectable body. She keeps resisting me on all this.

_11: One month trial period. Not three._

That's no time at all. That I will definitely not agree to.

_12: I cannot commit every weekend. I do have a life, or will have. Perhaps three out of four?_

That is what I was worried she was going to say. That will not do, I have to have her every weekend or this is not going to be what I wanted it to be.

_15.2: Using my body as you see fit sexually or otherwise – please define "or otherwise." _

She really is going all nitty gritty on me. Despite my extreme irritation at the moment I have to say that I am also smiling. This is so typical Anastasia, to pick everything out and not just give in to my demands. She really is not as submissive as I thought at first.

_15.5: This whole discipline clause. I'm not sure I want to be whipped, flogged, or corporally punished. I am sure this would be in breach of clauses 2-5. And also "for any other reason". That's just mean – and you told me you weren't a sadist._

That is just the point of being in a contract like this and it is starting to irritate me that she cannot see this. If I cannot punish her, then I will not get satisfied. It is when I punish a sub that I really let go of all my frustration and anger. I get to whip the shit out of a little brown-haired woman.

_15.10: Like loaning me out to someone else would ever be an option. But I'm glad it's here in black and white._

Typical of Anastasia to just point it out to show her defiance.

_15.14: The Rules. More on those later._

Uh oh. She is not happy. I am wondering whether she is just picking this apart for the sake of it and then saying goodbye tomorrow, I really hope that she is not.

_15.19: Touching myself without your permission. What's the problem with this? You know I don't do it anyway._

But I sure wish you would do it in front of me.

_15.21: Discipline – Please see clause 15.5 above._

She is not giving in that easily.

_15.22: I can't look into your eyes? Why?_

Stubborn beautiful woman.

_15.24: Why can't I touch you?_

I am not getting in to that with her, she will just have to accept this one, with no questions.

_Rules:_

_Sleep – I'll agree to 6 hours. _

She is so stubborn, can she not just accept that I want her to sleep 8 hours a night so she is well rested.

_Food – I am not eating food from a prescribed list. The food list goes or I do – Deal breaker. _

Fuck, this is not good. Food is a big issue for me and I need to ensure that she is eating properly. If she does not want to agree to this rule I will have no possibility to hold her to it.

_Clothes – as long as I only have to wear your clothes when I'm with you... okay. _

Why can she not agree to accept gifts? Any other woman would love to receive gifts.

_Exercise – We agreed 3 hours, this still says 4._

That will need to be changed. I did agree to only 3 hours.

_Soft Limits - Can we go through all of these? No Fisting of any kind. What is suspension? Genital Clamps – you have got to be kidding me._

I will have to explain in detail what all this is, I am guessing that with no sex experience at all she is at a loss for what all this is even though she has researched online.

I am seriously annoyed after reading her email. At this point I really do not think that she has a submissive bone in her body, but I am willing to ease up on some of the points in order to try and see if she does have a submissive side to her.

But I will just remind her what the definition of submissive is. It will not do for her to forget that.

I type out an email reminding her what the definition of submissive is and then I just hope that she will remember that when we meet on Wednesday. Even though I just left her a few hours ago I feel like Wednesday is a million miles away and I miss her. I can smell her on me, which is an extremely sexy smell. Her scent mixed with the smell of sex. But it would be even better if I were in her bed holding her.

After a few restless hours of reading and answering emails I finally go to bed to get a few hours of sleep before another day begins.

When I wake up early in the morning as usual I am not at all surprised to find that I am in a horrible mood and not at all in the state to participate in several dull meetings while my thoughts are straying to Anastasia.

Control freak that I am, I check the update from the covert security I have for Anastasia. I reminded Taylor last night that Anastasia is going to work today, so I expect to be informed if she goes out to lunch with anyone or anything else happens.

After the mornings first meeting I decide to call Flynn and arrange to see him in the afternoon, for just a short session to wrap up the one I stormed out of yesterday.

After a few more meetings and lunch it is time for my appointment with Flynn.

"Hello, Christian"

"Hello, John"

"I take it you were not satisfied with yesterdays results since you decided to come back?"

"I know I overreacted by storming out of here, but I was aggravated that you kept telling me that I am in love."

"I will not talk about that today, you seem to be of the very firm belief that, that is not possible. What I would like to talk to you about today is how you will handle if Anastasia tells you that she wants a regular relationship and not sign your contract."

"That is quite simple, John. That will not happen." I am lacking the conviction of my words though.

"You seem very sure of that?"

"She has gone through my contract and is willing to negotiate."  
"So you are willing to concede some of your rules in order to accommodate Anastasia?"

"Yes of course. I can't expect her to want to do all the things I normally do when she is inexperienced."

"But you do expect her to engage in a full on BDSM relationship?"

"Yes, that is what I do. I have told her that I am not interested in anything more than that and she has accepted that."

"Has she?"

"Yes, as I said she has gone through the contract."

"Has she signed it yet?"

"No, she hasn't. We are going out to dinner tomorrow to discuss it."

"You are taking her on a regular date, to discuss your BDSM contract? Interesting."

"Why is that, doctor?"  
"You are engaging in something that is very normal for young couples, but the topic of this date is very abnormal to a young couple such as you are."

"Let me ask you, Christian, how much are you willing to concede for Anastasia before you tell her that she is asking for too much and let her go?"

"I haven't thought about it like that, John. We will discuss it tomorrow and come up with a solution that is acceptable for both of us."

"Okay, I accept that, Christian. But how will you ensure that you are not pressuring her into this with you?"

"John, you know I would never do that and frankly it pisses me off that you would think I would do that."

"That is not what I mean, Christian. What I mean is that Anastasia is aware of your attitude towards having a regular relationship, correct?"

"Yes."

"Maybe she will want to be with you, but from fear of you rejecting her if she asks for something other than what the contract includes, she might sign it just to be with you." _Fuck, I have not thought about it like that. _

"She's a grown woman and she knows what she is saying yes to."

"Are you sure she does that? As you have mentioned yourself she has never been part of the scene."

"I will go easy on her and show her how to be a good sub and train her. I will not take her too far."

"You are so stubborn! I know you are very experienced in reading body language and will accommodate her inexperience. I am talking about her feelings. She is new to this and might be insecure, especially if she is falling in love with you as I suspect that she is."

"Here we go again. I fucking don't do feelings, you know this."

"Yes, you keep repeating that. All I am asking is for you to pay extra attention to how she reacts after you've done your thing to her in your playroom. She may find it overwhelming and need a comforting shoulder from you."

This is ridiculous, he cannot expect me to nurse her through this, she is a grown woman who going in to this of her own free will. Earlier I did think about this whole feelings crap, but now I am just angry about talking about this.

'Okay, I will look after her."

"Good, Christian. Now before you leave, I will ask one thing of you. I do not need you to answer this for me right now, just consider it."

"What is that?"

"If Anastasia tells you that she wants to have a regular relationship, please consider that you are willing to concede and compromise on some of your rules in the contract. Maybe you should be willing to concede some of the barriers and rules you've put up around your personal life as well. Since you already seem to be enjoying such regular things as sleeping and eating dinner with her, I think you should consider that it might not be a bad idea to do this with her if she wishes to. I'm not saying you should decide on this matter right away, just consider it, Christian."

Oh, this is stupid. I am not going to agree to anything, but just to keep him quiet I agree with his point.

"Okay, John, I'll consider it."

As I leave John's suite I consider what he has said. I have already conceded too many of my rules, it is not going to happen again.

When I have had a shower I go to the computer to catch up on some emails, a little pissed that I have heard nothing from Anastasia all day.

When I sit down my phone rings, yet again. As the CEO I'm used to my phone ringing more or less all the time, but I'm not used to hearing my sisters screeching voice on the other end.

"Christian, you have to tell me about your girlfriend. What is she like? How does she look? I bet she beautiful, at least that's what Elliot says."

"Well, hello, Mia. Nice to hear from you. How are you doing?"

"Orh cut the crap big brother. Spill the beans, I want to know everything about her."

"Look, Mia … this is still pretty new, so I'd like to just see where it goes."

"Okay, sooo? You can still tell me about her. You've never had a girlfriend before, so you can't exactly blame me for being interested."

"I guess."

"Christian! Just tell me something."

"She's a student at WSU and working part-time in a hardware store."

"Jeez, Christian. You'd think you're trying to give me her resume. Something about her … as a person."

"Hmmm."

"Christian, I am not letting you go until you say something. Is she sweet, pretty, ugly – something, Christian."

"She is really smart and sweet."

"Is she pretty?"

"God, you're annoying, you know that."

"Christian….."

"Yes, she is very beautiful."

"HA! I knew it. Do you love her?"

"Enough! This conversation is over. Shall I pick you up at the airport on Saturday morning?"

"Fine. But I will drag it from you one way or another. But I guess you must love her since she's already met Elliot and mom." I figure silence is the best strategy at this point so I ignore her comment about love.

"Fine, Christian. Yes I would like you to pick me up Saturday morning. I can't wait to see you, I've missed you so much while I've been away."

"Okay, see you on Saturday then. Email me your itinerary and I'll be there. I've missed you too, Mia."

"Bye big brother."

Mia was as ever extremely annoying, but I do understand her interest seeing as I have never brought a woman home.

I have to figure this shit our before I meet up with Anastasia tomorrow, I need to be prepared if she ends up saying no.

I am going for a run.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

When I get back from my run I see an email from Anastasia where she reminds me of the meaning of compromise. I cannot help but laugh at her smart mouth, she is not giving in without a fight. To be honest though, I am not sure that she is going to give in at all.

Next she informs me that she wishes to drive to the hotel by herself, which really irritates the fuck out of me. I was actually looking forward to picking her up, especially because the chances of her staying the night would be even bigger if she is not driving herself. _You were looking forward to taking her out on a regular date, Grey. You are going soft. _

The last option in my head is too depressing to even contemplate, Anastasia saying no to the whole thing and then driving away from me. I cannot stand that thought.

When Wednesday morning arrives I have a weird feeling in my stomach, one that I am not very familiar with. I feel nervous, which is very rare for me, I hardly ever feel nervous about anything but meeting Anastasia to determine our future has my stomach tied in knots.

Wednesday disappears in a blur since I have several business meetings that needs my full focus, which is a good thing since I feel queasy every time I think about Anastasia, the fear of a NO becoming bigger and bigger.

Late in the afternoon I finish up the last business meeting in order to get a bit of email correspondence out of the way before our dinner and then I need a shower and get dressed before meeting Anastasia.

I go down to the Marble Bar at 6.50pm and order myself a glass of white wine.

Sitting here waiting for her makes me even more nervous. I have no idea what to expect, if she is just going to come in, say no way and then leave again or if she is at least willing to discuss this.

At 6.58 I start to wonder whether she as actually coming at all and turn around looking towards the entrance. I see a woman standing there wearing a dress and look past her to see if I can spot Anastasia anywhere, but then my eyes land on the woman in the dress. It is Anastasia, wearing a plum coloured dress and high heels, her hair in waves and moved on one side away from her face. _Wow, I think my heart just skipped a beat._ She looks absolutely stunning and I smile and get up and walk towards her. Never in a million years did I picture just exactly how stunning she looks in a dress and high heels. That is my girl. _But she is not your girl yet, Grey._

Since she is dressed the way she is I expect that she is not here to just say goodbye, that she in fact is here to make this work. But I am still not entirely sure that she is not going to run, so I but on all my charm and my plan is still to seduce her, so that she cannot resist me.

I lead her to a secluded booth so we can have some privacy and then I plan on having dinner with her in the private room that I've booked for the night. Unless of course she wants to have dinner in my suite, then I can definitely come up with a few tricks to make that a very exiting evening.

Since I met Anastasia and knowing that she is as inexperienced as she is I've thought a lot about ways to have sex that does not always have to be in the playroom. I think it will be too much for Anastasia to go in there every time we are going to fuck, feeding her in my kitchen and then fucking her on the breakfast bar has become one of my little fantasies. That is if she agrees to this, which I am still not sure of.

As we sit in the booth she asks me whether I was going to tell her that the contract is not legally enforceable, so I have to explain to her that I do not intend to drag her through the courts should she run, but that this represents a commitment that I want with her. She seems extremely nervous all of a sudden and I tell her that I am also nervous.

She does not want to eat in my suite, she wants to eat in public, but I have other plans. I have booked a private dining room and ordered a menu for us. First we start with oysters, I've ordered them for their aphrodisiac qualities, but I am never going to say that to Anastasia. I am using every trick in the book tonight to seduce her.

I've printed her amendments to the contract so that we can go through them point by point so she feels secure in the fact that we cover all her topics and that she does not end the evening having doubts about anything.

When we are seated at our table she starts biting her lip again and instantly my cock reacts to this seemingly little thing, but it just affects me enormously for some reason.

I fish out the email and start with her first point and agree with her that it is for the benefit of both of us.

My sexual health is something I take very seriously, with varying partners I need to make sure that I am healthy all the time, so I get tested every 6 months and of course require all my subs be healthy as well.

As I tell her all of this I feel more secure and can feel my Dom self slowly coming back. I look at Anastasia who looks slightly overwhelmed by the fact that I am going through this point by point.

I make sure to be clear on the fact that she can walk away anytime so she does not feel trapped in this, she needs to know that if it is too much, she can say no. But I also make it clear to her that if she says no, then that is it. When I say this she actually flinches as if it hurts that she would be walking away. Secretly I am glad that she reacts this way, that makes my chances even bigger for seducing her and making her say yes. She is having as much trouble staying away from me as I have from staying away from her.

When our first course arrives Anastasia looks dubiously at the oysters and tells me that she has never had one before. I tell her to just tip and swallow, that should be easy for her. My thoughts stray to our bath where she got a much deserved A in oral skills. Judging from the colour in her cheeks that is exactly what she is thinking about as well.

When she takes she oyster and squeeze some lemon on it I cannot wait to she her slide it down. Slowly she takes it to her lips and tips and then swallow. My cock is hard and I had not imagined it would be so sexy watching her eating an oyster as she slowly licks the excess juice of her lips and then smiles. She really is something special.

When I tell her that I want her to obey me in all things, she tells me that she is afraid that I will hurt her physically. It turns out that she is afraid because I once told her about the woman I accidentally hurt with rope play. Even though this is one of my favourite scenes in the playroom, it does take a long time to work up to and it would not be something that I would do with Anastasia right away, so I agree to making it one of her hard limits.

The next point on her list is the term of the contract and I have no intention of making it less than three months, that is just too little time to make it work when we only see each other on the weekends. She wants to have one weekend to herself and I agree to that if I can see her during the week that same week instead. I am already finding it hard to agree to the fact that I will only be seeing her every weekend, that will mean five days without her. But since I work as hard as I do, I cannot make time for her all the time and she will have a job of her own to take care of. She agrees to the term, if a little uncertainly. When we reach the point of the ownership I make it very clear how it works, even though I am going to go easy on her in the beginning to teach her all the things she needs to know, I have to make it clear that she will still be my sub and I will do to her what I want, when I want it. That much needs to be clear to her.

While I say this she looks at me as if she is mesmerized and she cannot take her eyes off me.

I have to ask her if she is still with me, as she looks like she cannot quite follow along. I am finding it a little difficult finding the fine line between making sure she is comfortable with all this while still maintaining my Dom self. I do not want to railroad her with my domineering ways since I still need her to agree. But I also need to show her who is in charge and who makes all the decisions.

I tell her that there is a very fine line between pain and pleasure and that I will show her just how pleasurable pain can be. It is only the punishments that hurt, anything else is just pleasure. I am not a harsh Dom, I can be very rough when I fuck and punish, but not nearly as much as some Dom's are.

But in the end it all comes down to her trusting me and even though I know it takes time to build trust, I need to know whether she trusts me even the slightest at this point, because if she does not trust me, I doubt that we will get very far.

Luckily she says that she does trust me when I ask her, which makes me extremely happy. With that in place everything else are just minor details, but Anastasia does not seem to be totally at ease yet. So I decide we should go through the rules.

She will not budge on the food rule so I will have to concede that and not be able to decide what, when or how much she eats. It really does not sit well with me, but she tells me that I will just have to trust her. Well good point made, Miss Steele.

I also have to concede the sleep, but as she says, I will just have to trust her. She asks why she cannot look at me and why she cannot touch me. She somehow thinks that Elena traumatised me when I was her sub. I do not know why but for some reason I think Anastasia sees Elena as some kind of monster. She looks disgusted every time her name comes up. When I answer her question about why I do not want her touching herself, it is like she disappears into her own little world and she is thinking.

She does not want to go over the soft limits over dinner and apparently she has had enough to eat even though she has hardly eaten anything.

We discuss her food intake and I can feel that she is not particularly happy with this topic so I tell her that I want to peel her out of her dress, but apparently she wants dessert so that seduction technique did not work very well.

She does not think it is fair that I use sex as a weapon, but she will get used to it. I always use sex as a weapon that is what I know. I can tell that she wants me because right now she is flushed and her breathing has altered and she is pressing her thighs together. I can hardly wait to peel her out of that dress and feel her soft skin, be close to her, feel her arousal and tightness around my hard cock, look into her eyes when she comes. I love watching her come and love hearing my name on her lips when she does.

Next thing she is trying to play me at my own game, that little vixen. She picks up an asparagus and sucks on it and then bites off the end. That is seriously turning me on, even though it is not a place for the sub to do this, it is really hot when Anastasia is trying to seduce me. Perhaps because of her innocence it is so hot.

At this exact moment the waiter chooses to enter to clear our plates and that breaks the moment between us. I ask Anastasia if she want dessert as she mentioned but she completely takes me by surprise by saying that she wants to go.

_No, no, no, this cannot be right. She cannot leave now. Fuck!_

She uses the graduation ceremony as an excuse but I honestly do not quite believe that the ceremony is the reason she is leaving. I feel like she is telling me that she does not want to agree do this. I tell her that I could make her stay because I feel like if I let her go, I will not have had enough of an opportunity to convince her to say yes and stay with me. But she does not want me to, she wants some distance between us. This cannot be a good thing, I feel rejected and the feeling is surprisingly painful, but this is all I can do and I tell her that.

I use my last resort to try and convince by kissing her passionately and I love the feel of her lips on mine, the way our tongues stroke against each other in an exotic dance. She moves her hands to my hair and run them through it and pulls me closer to her. _I love when she does that. _

I ask her one last time to spend the night with me but she says that she does not want to if she cannot touch me.

I am not conceding the touching and I have a horrible feeling that she is telling me goodbye.

She tells me the thing I fear the most; that she is not sure that she can have the kind of relationship that I want.

True to my word, as I also told Flynn, I cannot give her anything else so I have to let her go. It actually hurts to do this, but my conviction is greater than my emotions towards Anastasia right now.

I lead her down to the lobby and ask her for her valet ticket so she can get her car.

As we wait for her car I ask her if I can see her on Sunday after she's moved to Seattle to her and Miss Kavanaghs new apartment and she just says that we will see. _Stubborn woman._

She is standing outside in that little dress of hers with no jacket on, so I give her mine and she shrugs it on and seems to be smelling it. _Huh!_

A minute later an old Beetle pulls up in front of us and Anastasia takes the keys from the valet. _What the fuck piece of shit is she driving?_

I seriously need to buy her a new car, she cannot be driving around in that old piece of junk. I cannot even imagine that it is roadworthy but she ensures me that it is, that Jose fucking photographer boy services it for her. The only comfort in this is that the boy is hopelessly in love with her, so maybe he does a good job of it, so she does not get hurt. But I will not have her driving around in this.

I help her get into her car and then she drives off in a huff of exhaust smoke.

I feel like I have said goodbye for good, as I stand immobilised in the valet area looking after her. I thought I saw some tears streaming down her cheek as she took off so at least it was not entirely easy for her.

I make my way back to my suite, but I seem to be walking around in my own little bubble. I feel odd, I should not have this much difficulty saying no to someone who does not want to have a Dom/sub relationship. This is what I do and there is no other way for me. I am not cut out for a regular relationship.

As I step into my suite I think about what went wrong tonight, I thought she was actually coming around but I guess I was sorely mistaken.

I send her an email and take a shower to rid myself of this feeling I have, but that does not help.

When I have finished she has not answered me yet, which worries me because she should be home by now. I start to worry about her and send her a text as well, but there is no answer there either.

I get increasingly worried as I think back to our evening. The more time that passes, the more I feel like I have lost something big. I really do not feel like loosing Anastasia, but I do not know what to do to put her at ease. I cannot offer her a normal relationship. Maybe I could invite her out for dinner during the week and then we can play on the weekends, that could maybe work. I do enjoy her company, but that still does not mean that I can do a regular relationship. _That is a regular relationship, Grey. _

I can feel me earlier steely conviction of not wanting to offer her anything more failing slightly. The hurt I feel of her ignoring me is worse than I imagined. I feel I need to do something to fix it.

I still have not heard from Anastasia, so I send her another email. I hate the fact the she is not answering me, that cannot be a good sign.

I tell Taylor to arrange for an Audi A3 to be delivered to the hotel tomorrow and then I will give it to Anastasia tomorrow after the graduation ceremony.

It is going to take some convincing of her before she will accept it, but that does not matter. She needs to have a safe car.

The covert security informs me that Anastasia has made it home and her car is parked in the car park. This puts me somewhat at ease but I am not particularly happy that she has not gotten back to me yet.

I fear that she is going to say no.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

It is Wednesday evening, I have just had my first regular date in my life with a certain beautiful Miss Steele and I am convinced that it will also be the last date I will have with her.

She left in a hurry and left me standing in the valet area like an idiot.

I know I will see her tomorrow at the graduation ceremony, I am however not entirely sure that she will actually want to talk to me. But I need to tell her that she has to make a decision, this is driving me insane. I cannot figure out why I feel so strongly about this, I could easily find a sub somewhere else, but it is Anastasia whom I want, so I am determined that she is the one I actually get.

I decide to wear a certain silver gray tie tomorrow, that should remind her of some fun times tied to her bed. I know that she is not entirely immune to me or my looks or my seduction skills, so I will just have to play on all those things tomorrow and then tell her that she needs to give me her answer. The thought of her saying no is one that I do not want to dwell on. I cannot imagine that scenario, so I try to think positive thoughts and look forward to her yes tomorrow. _Because positive thoughts are your trademark, Grey!_

I know that I will not be able to sleep much tonight, so I go over my speech for tomorrow, knowing that it is just as it is supposed to be, this is my trademark speech. Everything is ready for tomorrow; Taylor has informed me that the Audi A3 will be ready for collection tomorrow afternoon. Sometimes it is very easy being me and having a right-hand man as Taylor, everything runs so much more smoothly when Christian Grey needs something.

I know that the tenacious Miss Kavanagh will be giving the valedictorian speech, so if worse comes to worse I will have to engage her to help me get the attention of Anastasia. There is the subject of her parents as well, I will need to meet them if I am to engage Anastasia. I have decided that I will just have to meet them and put on my best winning Christian Grey smile.

When it is 3 am I am finally able to find some sort of rest, it is not deep sleep by any means, but it is at least a little rest. Luckily for me I can function on a minimum amount of sleep, horrible nightmares will do that to you.

At 6 am I get up and ready for my usual run with Taylor. I do not think I would be able to function without this daily workout. It almost makes up for the sex I am not having, sex is usually my preferred outlet for all my excess energy, or well a session in the playroom does it. But I have to admit that sex with Anastasia is extremely good too, so that does it for me too.

On my way to the graduation ceremony I actually find myself getting a little bit nervous, normally I would not get nervous and I suspect that it is not because of the speech that I am nervous, but because of a certain brunette. I know that she will be amongst all the graduates, but I do not know exactly where she will be seated, so I will have to see if I can find her somewhere in the crowd.

When I arrive at the university, I am immediately greeted by a bunch of odd-looking professors and the chancellor and they keep thanking me for all that I do for the university and for the money I donate and the fact that I was willing to confer the degrees. _Stupid fuckers._

They prepare me for how the ceremony works and suddenly I hear a familiar voice.

"Mr. Grey."

"Miss Kavanagh. Nice to see you again." The last time I saw her was at her and Anastasia's apartment, when I was practically wearing nothing. She looks at me with icy cold eyes and I get the feeling the she is not particularly happy about me being part of Anastasia's life.

When the chancellor and professors are busy discussing something amongst themselves, she leans a little closer to me and whispers furiously so the others will not hear.

"You better fix whatever shit it is that you've done with Anastasia, she is not herself and she is not happy. She is too sweet and too innocent for your shit, just treat her right for once." Then she turns on her heel and walks over to the professors and the chancellor and starts talking to them. I was standing there utterly speechless and annoyed. No one talks to me like that, but then again she does have a point. I do not want to hurt Anastasia, but I do really want her. I hate the fact that her best friend is telling me that she is not happy, I will need to change that.

We walk to the stage, Miss Kavanagh and myself as the last ones. I can feel the presence of a lot of women who in the instant I walk on stage start whispering amongst themselves. The usual response to my looks. _Fuckers, I'm taken._

When I unbutton my jacket to sit down I scan the hall of hundreds of people, at least the students are seated in the front rows, which will make it easier for me to spot Anastasia.

When the chancellor starts talking it is easier for me to scan the hall and suddenly my eyes catch a figure hunching it's shoulders and sliding lower in the chair. There she is, my beautiful girl. I catch her eye and she squirms in the seat and starts flushing. My cock start twitching at the sight of her reaction to me, and it is getting very hard now. That pink colour in her cheeks does something to me. She inhales sharply and the look in her eye heats up, if I did not know how innocent she is, I would say that the look in her eyes right now tells me she is hungry and wants me. I try to stifle a smile at her obvious revelation of her want for me and close my eyes to get my roaring thoughts in check and try to think of something that will lessen my arousal. When I open my eyes I fix on something in the back and decide that I should probably not look at Anastasia again, since I have to stand up in not too long to give my speech.

The chancellor presents me and makes sure to point out all the lovely things that I do for the university through my donations. If I did not know the man better, I would say that he has a man crush on me, but I know that he is trying to suck up to me so that I will donate more money than I already do.

I get up to give my speech and all the woman lean a little closer to the stage as if that will get them closer to me.  
As I start speaking I glance in Anastasia's direction without her noticing it of course. She looks mesmerized as she is staring at me. I have given this speech before and know it inside out so it gives me the opportunity to scan the hall while I am talking. I catch Anastasia scowling at the two girls sitting on either side of her, one of them is gaping at me, looking rather idiotic and the other one is squirming on the edge of her seat. It is a bit difficult not to laugh at the sight of that, but I remain stoically impassive as I give the rest of my speech and then prepare to hand out the damn diplomas. There are so many students that it actually takes a whole hour before it is Anastasia's turn to receive her diploma.

When she walks toward me, she looks nervous and when we shake hands the usual sparks are there and our joint hands heat up. When I ask her whether her computer and phone are broken or she is ignoring me, she looks bewildered as if she does not understand what I am talking about. I will just have to talk to her later, so we do not block the line of eager students any further.

It takes another whole hour before this thing is over and I am fucking impatient to get to talk to Anastasia now.  
I have no idea how I will get to her without anyone getting suspicious of something, so when Miss Kavanagh conveniently comes towards me, I ask her to go fetch Anastasia for me. She is not entirely cooperative in this matter, but when I shove my CEO demeanour in her face she gets the point and scurries off to find her best friend. I am talking to the chancellor when Katherine returns with Anastasia, who is looking a little flustered at being dragged back stage. I noticed a locker room just before they came and drag Anastasia in there to talk to her, and lock the door.

"Why haven't you emailed me? Or texted me back?" I sound desperate even to myself.

"I haven't looked at my computer today, or my phone." She looks rather confused at my sudden outburst.

"That was a great speech." I think she is trying to distract me from the issue at hand.

"Thank you."

"Explains your food issues to me."

"Anastasia, I don't want to go there at the moment." I could not have imagined how tough it would actually be for me to talk to Anastasia like this. I cannot handle this anymore.

"I've been worried about you."

"Worried, why?" Does she not get that I am not too happy about that car.

"Because you went home in that deathtrap you call a car."

"What? It's not a deathtrap. It's fine. José regularly services it for me."

"José, the photographer?"

"Yes, the Beetle used to belong to his mother."

"Yes, and probably her mother and her mother before her. It's not safe."

"I've been driving it for over three years. I'm sorry you were worried. Why didn't you call?"

"Anastasia, I need an answer from you. This waiting around is driving me crazy."

"Christian, I... look, I've left my stepdad on his own." At least she is not rejecting me point blank, that is always something.

"Tomorrow. I want an answer by tomorrow."

"Okay. Tomorrow, I'll tell you then."

"Are you staying for drinks?" I really do hope to get to meet her father, then maybe if he approves she will not be so hesitant as to say yes.

"I don't know what Ray wants to do."

"Your stepfather? I'd like to meet him."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea."

"Are you ashamed of me?" I actually feel a little hurt at her saying this and it makes me think that she does not want this anyway, even though I just had a slimmer of hope when she did not say no.

"No! - Introduce you to my dad as what? 'This is

the man who deflowered me and wants us to start a BDSM relationship'. You're not wearing running shoes." That is actually quite funny.

"Just so you know, I can run quite fast. Just tell him I'm your friend, Anastasia."

I open the door to let her out and see the chancellor and the professors looking oddly in our direction and I quickly explain something about clearing up a matter from the interview which Anastasia did with me for the student newspaper.

I spend some time talking to the chancellor and Miss Kavanagh, when she suddenly decides that I should follow her. She did look a little pre-occupied while the others were talking to her. She is up to something.

She drags me along and suddenly I see what her mission is. I spot Anastasia and some fucker who has his arm around her and his hand is leisurely on her waist. The fucker seems utterly besotted with MY girl and that does not please me the least bit. They are talking and she is smiling at him. I growl at the sight of them and Katherine looks quizzically at me. He is actually rather good looking and is looking at Anastasia as if she is the only woman on the planet.  
When we reach them Katherine steps over to greet whom I expect is Anastasia's father and then introduces me as Ana's boyfriend. Although I did not quite expect that introduction I do not let it faze me and I stick out my hand to greet Mr. Steele. All colour has disappeared from Anastasia's face and she is glaring at Katherine. When we've said our greetings, Katherine introduces the fucker who has his arm around my girl as her brother Ethan. Even when he greets me he does not remove his arm from Anastasia, which pisses me off. I need to stake a claim on my girl. I put out my hand to her.

"Ana, baby."

She looks like she is going to expire at my words and slowly walks away from Ethan who is now scowling at me and walks to me. I put my arm around her and love the feel of her by my side. This is something that has never happened before, I have never been seen in public with a woman who is not part of my family. Neither have I been seen showing affection for someone in public. But standing here with Anastasia, her tucked under my arm, feels wonderful. I get a fleeting feeling of her being mine and I actually do not have a problem with standing here presenting an outward façade of being her boyfriend.

Katherine and Ethan excuse themselves and the questions from Anastasia's father begin. I am guessing that she has not told him about be, since he has reacted the way he has. I must give him his due, he did not freak out by the bomb that Miss Kavanagh threw in his face, but he is not willingly giving up his daughter to some random guy. I do not think he knows who I am or perhaps he does not care, but he just regards me as a man who is trying to win his daughters heart. I know that now is the time to charm him, but not by throwing my money in his face. I remember Anastasia telling me that he likes to fish and since I do too, I figure that is the best way to get to him. We walk off talking fishing while Anastasia scurries off towards Katherine with a less than friendly look in her eyes. I suspect that she did not want her to tell Mr. Steele about us. I ask him about her car and tell him about my plans to give Anastasia a new car. He reluctantly accepts that it is a good idea, since I have the possibility to give her a new car and keep her safe, which makes him agree.

Anastasia comes back to us looking a little worried and then her father excuses himself to go find the restrooms. When he leaves Anastasia looks up at me a little nervous and then we are interrupted by a photographer. He takes a picture of the two of us together and I cannot help but think that this is going to give the tabloids something to write about. The first picture ever of Christian Grey with a woman in public. _And I like it._

"So you've charmed my father as well?"

"As well?" Does she actually mean that I've charmed her? _Oh I hope so. _

I caress her cheek and lift her chin so we can look into each other's eyes.

"Oh, I wish I knew what you were thinking, Anastasia," As she looks into my eyes, her breath hitches and her cheeks slightly flush.

"Right now, I'm thinking, nice tie,"

"It's recently become my favorite."

"You look lovely, Anastasia, this halter-neck dress suits you, and I get to stroke your back, feel your beautiful skin." I love being able to run my fingers across her skin. It is so soft and lovely, just like her. The always-present electricity hums between us and my arousal is becoming evident as we look at each other.

"You know it's going to be good, don't you, baby?"

"But I want more," _Fuck, Flynn was right. This is make or break time._ She wants hearts and flowers and I do not. But standing here with her in my arms it is more evident than ever before that I cannot let her go, so I will have to try another tactic.

"More?"

"More - You want hearts and flowers." She nods and looks at me expectantly and scared.

"Anastasia - It's not something I know."

"Me neither."

"You don't know much," She is such an innocent woman, but so lovely.

"You know all the wrong things."

"Wrong? Not to me."

"Try it," I hope she will not say no now.

"Okay," _WHAT?! _

"What?"

"Okay. I'll try." Is she seriously saying yes to this?

"You're agreeing?" I can hardly believe this, I thought she was going to say no.

"Subject to the soft limits, yes. I'll try." _YES! _I pull her into my arms and embrace her. I have never felt as happy as I do at this precise moment. This is an amazing feeling.

"Jesus, Ana, you're so unexpected. You take my breath away."

I do not have the words to describe this, but this must be just about the happiest moment of my life.

Anastasia's father returns and asks me whether I would like to join them for lunch, but I decline. Now that Anastasia has agreed I need to prepare a few things and I intend on seeing Anastasia tonight when she is back from her dinner with her father.

When I leave the graduation I feel like I am floating on a sky and I have this funny feeling in my stomach. I decide to call Flynn when I get back to the hotel, just to get his advice on what I should do. Somehow I do not want to decline Anastasia's wish for more, now that she has agreed to being my sub. I just need to get some perspective on how I should do it, since I am not interested in a regular relationship.

_She said yes!_


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

_She said yes!_

I still cannot believe that she actually said yes to the contract. Of course we still need to discuss the soft limits and she has not signed anything so technically she can still change her mind, but I am pretty sure that she will stick to her yes.  
I have never felt this good, I do not really know how to describe the way I am feeling right now…happy I guess. Just plain happy.

I have some preparations for later, I am planning to go over to Anastasia when she returns from lunch with her father. I would like to celebrate her graduation and her yes. I will check with Taylor that the car is ready and I need to get some champagne, Bollinger, and read through her email again and the soft limits just to make sure I am ready for that conversation. I want her to feel comfortable in this relationship. _Relationship, Grey? Since when the fuck is this a relationship? It's a contractual agreement, Grey. _

When I get back to the hotel I call Taylor to make sure that everything is ready and ask him to arrange for some Bollinger for me to take to Anastasia later.  
Even though I have already decided that I need to call Flynn I just realized how difficult that conversation really is, what the fuck am I supposed to say. I know what Anastasia wants, I know Flynn's opinion on this matter. I just don't know how to do this. How do I give her "more" as she put it, when I don't want hearts and flowers.  
Then a surge of guilt flows over me, she wants "more", she wants a regular relationship with a nice young man, who will shower her with hearts and flowers. I was so caught up wanting to get her, that I did not really stop to think about her wishes. I am getting that same feeling as I had the day I took her to the coffee shop, I am so not the right man for her.

Frustrated I sit down on the couch with my head in my hands, pulling at my hair, feeling rather frustrated. I have already established that I do not want to let her go, I cannot give her hearts and flowers, so basically I cannot give her what she wants. But she said yes!  
Why would she say that when she wants more, knowing that I cannot give her more.

Fuck, I am so confused. What the fuck am I supposed to do here. I am completely fucked no matter what I do.

I decide that, that call to Flynn needs to happen. I need to get my thoughts strait and I need a strategy to go forward. I cannot let her go, that much is clear.

"John, it's Christian. I need your help."

"Christian, it everything okay?"

"Well, sort of. I'm just a little confused and need your advice."

"What can I do for you?"

"I told you about Anastasia, but today she has agreed to be my sub."

"That is wonderful for you, Christian. What is it you need my advice on?"

"When we discussed it she told me that she wants more, that she wants hearts and flowers. But I don't do that shit and I told her that, but she agreed anyway. Now I'm just feeling like a shit because I can't give her that."

"You know my stand on this, Christian. I don't see why you can't bend your rules a little for this girl. It is obvious that you feel something for her, otherwise you would not be pursuing her the way you have been. So why not make some sort of a compromise?"  
"What are you thinking, John? You know I can't have a regular relationship."

"Yes, you keep telling me. Do you like spending time with her, not having sex?"

"Yes, she is very sweet and intelligent."

"So you can have a dinner with her, without feeling like you've been trapped?"

"Yes. Where are you going with this, John?"

"My suggestion is that you offer her a night during the week, where you take her to dinner and talk to her. Then it is your own decision whether you take her home and put her in your playroom. But at least spend some time with her not having sex. That would perhaps satisfy her need for something more and it wouldn't kill you."

"I suppose…"

"Christian, you're the one who said yourself that you think it is difficult spending a whole week without her, this would help dispel of that worry and she would be satisfied that maybe you like her for more than her body."

"But I don't want to give her a sense of false security, John. I don't want her to end up saying that she can't get enough and I'll have to end the contract."

"Christian, from what you've told me, she is already falling in love with you, so from this point on everything you do with her will just intensify that feeling for her. So what you really need to do right this moment, if you want to avoid what you've just said, is to consider whether you want to take this any further."

"I can't let her go, John." I could even hear the desperation in my own voice at this point. I have no fucking idea how to handle this, but I just cannot let her go.

"I know, Christian. That is why I am suggesting this. It will give you both something that you need and then you will just have to see what happens. She is not an established sub, Christian. She is a young woman with feelings and probably dreams of a loving boyfriend. But if you want her, you will just have to see what happens and consult me if something happens that you don't know how to handle."

"I guess there's no good way out of this. I will consider what you have said, John."

"Good, Christian. May I also suggest that you take an interest to her, ask her about the little things, like how she is, how her day has been. Maybe open up a little about yourself. Volunteer information on your own day. This will make her feel like you appreciate her and again not just want her for her body."  
"But she is my sub, it is precisely because of her body that I want her."

"I suspect that there is more to it than that. I suspect you like this girl so much because she challenges you and is not just a marionette who does not have a mind of her own."  
"Uh… I'll consider it, John."

"Good, Christian. Just remember that she is a wonderful young woman who wants someone to love her for who she is." _Oh god, why the fuck did he have to say that._

"Yes…"

"Promise you'll give it a try, Christian. I am nothing more than a phone call away if you need advice."

"Thank you, John. And thank you for taking the time."

"Not at all, Christian. Good luck."

"Thanks."

Okay, so taking her to dinner. I can do that. I do like talking to her, I just do not want to give her the wrong idea. But then again, she knows that I do not do this.

I need to make some sort of decision, because tonight begins the Dom/sub relationship so I better not be vague in anything. I have to take charge and show how this is going to be.

I am going to offer her that once a week I can take her out to dinner. That should satisfy my need to see her and her need for more. Yes, this is the way forward.

Maybe I should show an interest to her, but then again, that may be too much.

I spend the rest of the day in the gym to get some of the energy out of my body.

I am restless and looking forward to hearing from Anastasia, but I need to make the first move so I send her an email. I know from the covert security that she is still eating with her father, so I decide to get some dinner and work for a while until she is home and I can go to her.

Finally she replies to my email and tell me that she wants to come to me, to discuss the soft limits. I reply that I do not want her to drive that fucking car, so that I'll come to her.  
I throw on my leather jacket and grab the Bollinger and the car keys for the new Audi for Anastasia.

When I arrive at her apartment and walk to her door I can feel myself getting nervous, the last time I saw her, she had just agreed to do this and then her father came, so we never really got the opportunity to talk. I hope she has not changed her mind again.

When she opens the door, I get that weird feeling in my stomach again. _What the fuck is that…?_

She looks stunning but a little flustered as she is staring at me and I can feel her eyes on me. I cannot help but smile, she definitely likes the way I look.

When we come into the apartment she goes to find some teacups in the kitchen for the champagne, since they've already packed all the glasses. I see the Hardy books on the table and look at the quote she's written. _What the fuck?_ She's giving me back the books. That stubborn stubborn woman. I need to get her to understand that I will be buying her a lot of things and as my sub she should just accept them.

_I agree to the conditions, Angel; because you know best what my punishments ought to be; only-only-don't make it more than I can bear!_

I also think she is trying to tell me to go easy on her in this. She is still not entirely sure, that I am almost certain of.

She confirms my suspicions when she comes in to the living room and then she turns smart because she does not want to accept the books because they are too much. She wants to donate them to a charity that works in Darfur. It greatly disappoints me that she will not accept the books, they are not something I bought her just to get her to capitulate, I actually bought them because I thought that she would like them.

But I am also secretly glad that she wants to donate them to a charity that means something to me, that means that she has listened to my speech and actually cares about that. Even though I am not at all about to talk to her about my reasons for supporting such charities, it still means a lot that she cares enough to notice that.

Then she tells me that it makes her feel cheap that I am buying her things, which makes me incredibly angry, why on earth can she just not accept that this is the way it is supposed to be and I am a superrich fucker who has more money than he knows what to do with.

Finally she eases up and we open the champagne and drink, it is my favourite champagne, especially now that Anastasia looks satisfied with it.

I am very well aware that I have not kissed her yet and I am actually struggling at this point with not kissing her. All I really want to do is lean over on the sofa and feel her lips on mine and enjoy her scent and softness. But I need to establish some ground here and show her who makes the rules and who takes charge.

She is very eager to start the discussion about the soft limits, but I remember what Flynn told me, so I start of by asking her about her last day at work tomorrow and we talk about her dad. We talk about her move to Seattle on Saturday and I tell her that I cannot join them and Elliot in helping with the move because I am picking up Mia in the airport.

Then she tells me that she has interviews for intern places, why the fuck she has not told me about this before irritates me like fuck. I can help her, she should tell me something like this immediately. But as she becomes more and more vague about where she has interviews, it dawns on me that she does not want my help at all. She wants to do it on her own and she just confirms this when she tells me that she does not want to tell me where, to undue influence. That does not matter at all, it will not take me long to find out where her interviews are, so that I can put together a profile of the fuckers she is going to interview with.

Before we start our discussion I ask her whether she has eaten and she answers cheekily and rolls her eyes at me. _Oh my sweet girl, first lesson…_

"Next time you roll your eyes at me, I will take you across my knee."

"Oh." I can see the excitement in her eyes and I am pretty certain that she can she the same in mine.  
"Oh. So it begins, Anastasia."

I decide we should discuss the soft limits and this is when she becomes even more nervous. We start by discussing sexual acts and she tells me that she is not that interested in anal intercourse, but I really want to claim every inch of her. I think she reluctantly agrees, at least she does not tell me to make it a hard limit, which makes me extremely happy. She asks if I have ever tried it and if I have done it with a man. I think back to when Elena did it to me. It was one of our first times together and I was mortified when she but the anal beads up my ass. In that age it was just the times when someone was teased for being gay and if I liked it, I feared to be judged as being gay as well. But soon that did not really matter, because the feeling was out of this world and extremely pleasurable and my orgasms where so much better with the use of those. After that I did not really care about it and later in life when my whole family started to believe I was gay, without saying anything directly to my face though, I did not really care.

As we talk about toys I cannot help but laugh, Anastasia is so inexperienced and I have never talked about this in so much detail as with her. Not even Elena introduced the toys, she just used them on me. When we reach the bondage part I can tell that she is very excited, which in turn makes me very excited. I can feel that my cock is starting to twitch and harden rather fast in my jeans as we are talking this through.

The hardest part is approaching fast; her feelings on receiving pain.

I can feel her despondency about this pain issue and I tell her that we will work up to everything and that I will not take her too far. By the look on her face, I can see that she is not entirely sure about this, but I will make her see that pain and pleasure is something that goes hand in hand.

Then we come to the part were I feel out of my league, but I need to suggest this for both our sakes. Even though I feel out of my league, I am certain that this is the way we should do it. Even after all my doubts this afternoon, the moment I saw her open the door for me, I was certain. This is definitely a good idea.

She looks absolutely shocked that I am actually suggesting this, but then again, it is pretty shocking that I am. But I tell her that she needs to accept my graduation present graciously for us to do this.

I take her outside to the bright and shining red new Audi and she is stunned. I tell her that the Beetle is a hazard and that her father was all for me buying her a car. That makes her crazy mad at me, which in turn actually makes me mad. Can she just accept the damn thing, to me it is not too much.

Then she seems to think better of being mad at me and tells me that she is happy for me to loan it to her like the laptop. God that woman is too stubborn for her own good sometimes.  
Then she completely tips me over the edge.

"Thank you for the car, sir."

I grab her and hold her close to me and kiss her with all my force and passion. Our tongues meet in an erotic dance, pouring all the passion into this kiss, I can feel her melt to me and surrender her body to her lust and to me.

Suddenly I am aware that we are actually out in the open in the middle of the street, there could be paparazzi's or just random people recognising me and taking pictures of me kissing a woman publicly. Something that has NEVER happened and they could make a lot of money from it.

I am really angry right now, both with Anastasia for defying me about the car and with myself for being reckless and kissing her in public.

I take her inside with the intention of fucking her way into next week.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

I need to fuck her and I need to fuck her now. I am seriously pissed right now and I do not want to spank her for this. Well I do, but I will not do it, I am not scaring her off.

When we get into the apartment I lead her to her bedroom and switch on the light and turn to look at her. She looks uncertain and starts to apologize for the books and the car and then she tells me something very sobering: that I scare her when I am angry. I close my eyes and let my anger try to leave my body. I do not want to scare, that is one of the last things I want to do.

I tell her to turn around so I can peel her out of her clothes. I have to remember that she is not experienced in this and I need to build her confidence. Normally I would just tell her to get undressed herself and get ready to please me, but it is different with Anastasia. She needs encouragement to blossom in this and so I set about undressing her. Kissing her along her neck, enjoying the feel of her writhing with need in front of me.

I am not exactly sure what it is that is possessing me to be so gentle with her and telling her all those sweet things, but it just seems natural to do that.

I start to peel her out of that extraordinarily fetching dress she is wearing and start playing with her nipples that are immediately ready and puckered once the dress has slid away from her.

The way she is moaning and writhing I think she likes this, or rather, I know she likes this. She is incredibly responsive and sensitive which I fucking love about her. _Did you just say love, Grey?!_

Many of my subs were also very responsive, but since they were more used to the pain, it took some more to get them to writhe like this. My sweet Ana is so new to all of this that I hardly need to touch her before she is behaving like this.

As I tell her that I will not let her come yet and that she has displeased me she tenses slightly so I keep my attention to her breasts for just a little while longer. She start grinding against my hard cock luckily encased in my pants for the time being. If I was naked I am not sure that I could stand still like this, I would already have her on the bed and fucking her.

I slide my hands down her sides towards her panties, I can already smell her arousal which is so fucking sexy. I grab her panties and stretch them, to ultimately tear through them and toss them to the floor in front of Ana, so she can see them.  
I glide my hand down to feel how wet she is for me and she does not disappoint in the least bit, she is soaking wet for me.

I turn her around so she can see me put my finger in my mouth to taste her arousal on my finger. Her eyes widen when I suck on my finger and I can see the arousal in her eyes. They are slightly glazed and hooded they are sparkling when she looks at me. I fucking love that she wants this as bad as I do. I can hardly keep my eyes off of her, so for the sake of getting this to last longer I tell her to undress me.

She looks slightly horrified by the idea, but determined as my girl is, she grabs for my shirt to start undressing me. I tell her that she might need to touch me for what I have planned so the shirt needs to stay. Her eyes widen a little at that statement and she looks very happy, but then a concentration frown mars her brows when she gets ready to grab for my jeans. I take her hand and place it on my hard cock and she smiles mischievously and flexes her fingers around it.  
I decide I want to try something with her, I tell her that she is in charge and she seems very very surprised by that. Frankly I have never done anything like that before, I am always the one in charge. Except of course with Elena, but that really is a whole other story.  
At that statement she gets brave and pushes me onto the bed and I cannot help but laugh, not because it is funny per say but simply because she has found some sort of inner strength to try and please me.  
She starts eagerly to pull off my shoes and socks and then crawl up the bed. _Fuck, fuck she looks so sexy doing that and she has no fucking idea what she does to me._

She straddles me and slides her finger under the waistband of my jeans and I buck off the bed at her touch, shit that feels good. It is so tantalizingly close to where I want her hands, but also teasingly far away. Normally I do not really like being touched even there, but somehow whatever the fuck it is between us, everything is just more intimate with Ana than it has ever been for me before. And her touch right there has just ignited something and made me want her even worse than before. I did not flinch away which I would have normally done when touched like that. But there is something soothing about her touch too, even though it is an erotic touch. She throws my own words back to me, that I have to learn to keep still, which is quite funny.

She starts on my pants looking a little uncertain and that frown marring her brow, especially as she tucks at them, but with me lying firmly on the bed there is no way she is getting them off me like that. I tell her to get the condom from my pocket and she starts searching slowly, taking her time and driving me wild. When she gets the two foil packets out she looks at them thrilled and toss them on the bed next to us.  
When my cock springs free her eyes light up like a fucking Christmas tree and the braver side of her wins because she bends down and takes me in her mouth and sucks hard. _Fuuuuuuuuccckkkk!_  
She is so good at that and she totally disarms me with her innocence and eagerness so all self control is thrown out the window and I can already feel that I have no control over this situation and that I am going to come very very soon if she does not stop doing that.

I need her on top, that is a position that we have not tried yet and one that I do not often do unless I can shackle my subs hands above her, so she cannot touch me. But I will not be doing that with Ana, which is why I have kept my shirt on. But first I need her to put on the condom. Fuck I hate those things, she needs to sort out some birth control, so we can stop using those fuckers. She opens the foil packet and takes out the condom and looks at it dubiously and I can she that it is sticking to her fingers and she is rather bewildered. I tell her to pinch the top and roll it on. With that frown in place again she very very slowly, too fucking slowly starts to roll it onto my more that eager and ready cock. I can hardly stand it, her touch is magnificent but because she is not used to this it is fucking taking forever for her to get it in place. I need her to do it on her own, but fuuuuuck.

Finally she is done and I need to be inside her.  
I sit up so we are face to face and lift her hips and slide into her. She is so fucking tight I can hardly stand it. When I am all the way in I hold her still, I do not dare move right at this instant, she is so tight my cock feels like it is going to explode any second. When I have gotten used to the feeling I swivel my hips and she groans out loud at the feeling and wants me to do it again.

I lie down and take her hands and tell her to move however she wants to. I letting her believe that she has all the control, when in fact it is still me. I take her hands, both to hold her from touching me but also so I can control her.

She starts moving and I must say that I am a little surprised at her bravery and I am seriously turned on by the fact that she is riding me like this. The look on her face tells me that she is enjoying this and that she likes being the one in control. We find our rhythm and our eyes lock. I get a buck load of different feelings running through me when I look at Ana like this. For some reason it is very intimate, which I have never experienced before and it is incredibly sexy watching her, watching me.

My self-control has completely slipped and I know that I will come soon just because she is so fantastic.

I can see on her face that she is close too and I can feel her insides starting to quiver with the impending orgasm.

Suddenly she flies over the edge and it groaning and shouting, throwing her head back while her insides milk my cock for everything I have got to give. It just gets better and better every time we fuck.

She collapses on top of my, her head on my chest. Even though I am wearing a t-shirt I would not normally like this kind of contact. But when she lies down on my chest I do not flinch, much to my surprise. It actually feels really good having her there.

We lie quietly coming down from our orgasm and catching our breath.

As she starts to come back down to earth she starts nuzzling me, which again to my big surprise, actually does not bother me all that much. It is actually kind of sweet. I very much doubt that I would be okay if I were not wearing a t-shirt, but right this moment it is really nice just having her lying on top of me and nuzzling me. Then she lifts her hand and spreads it out on my chest on a soft satisfied moan, but that is too much so I snatch her hand away and kiss it in order to soften the blow of just jacking her hand away like that.

Once again she asks me why I do not like to be touched and I answer her that it is because I am fifty shades of fucked up. Fifty shades, that is me.

I feel this starting to come a little to close and personal for me, so I need to get back in control. I slide off of the bed and prepare to leave. I actually do not really want to leave but I really need to establish some boundaries here, so she does not get her expectations up too much.

I ask her when her period is due whilst I peel the condom off of myself, I really hate those fuckers and I want to stop using them as soon as possible.

I can tell that Anastasia is definitely not comfortable with this line of conversation, but I need to know these things. We agree that she needs to sort some contraception and that I will arrange for a doctor to come to my apartment on Sunday when she comes to see me after her and Kate's move to Seattle. The thought of not seeing her for three days does not lie well with me, I just know that I will miss her like crazy.

I tell her that I want to do a scene with her when she has signed the contract, I need to know that she is in fact ready for this. Then she as she so often does, surprises me by asking whether she can drag this out if she does not sign and it dawns on me that she actually can. I am nowhere near ready to let her go, so even if she does not sign on Sunday I am not entirely sure that I would actually tell her to leave. I do not think I will be able to that. So we joke a little with that and then she rolls her eyes at me. That has just made my whole night. Earlier I promised her that I would spank her if she rolled her eyes at me again and I intend to keep that promise.

No I am going to spank her and fuck her hard. God I love this.


End file.
